13. Chapter 13

Two days after taking the bingxu pill and one day before they march out with their troops, Mei Changsu throws Meng Zhi onto their bed. He grins like a rabid fox and fucks him so hard they break the platform. Apparently Lin Shu making up for 15 years of irregular impotence means that Meng Zhi never gets to sleep again.

They have to be discreet while traveling but...Mei Changsu is anything but discreet. It’s like having young, obnoxious, arrogant Lin Shu back only worse , because now he’s also a very adult Mei Changsu in charge of a whole army he can boss around but with the added libido of a teenager. The result is that he wants to fuck every second they are not directly in the public eye and Meng Zhi is worried he’s going to start chafing. They are given some leeway by the officers because they are married, after all, but Fei Liu thinks nothing of walking into their tent at any time, despite being billeted with some of the younger lieutenants. After the second spectacularly awkward interruption, Meng Zhi gets up off his knees and puts his foot down: sex is only allowed between lights-out and dawn.

Mei Changsu pouts (and Lin Chen laughs uproariously when he finds out). Meng Zhi is unmoved. He has his dignity and he will damn well keep it.

---

They arrive at the border under the shadow of the Cliffs of Meiling and the threat of all the armies of Da Yu just beyond.

Both sides are holding off, preparing to strike. Meng Zhi would prefer to just march on over and wipe them out, but Mei Changsu is holding them back for now. He has reasons they have argued over and there is a lot of discussion among the officers about Mei Changsu’s daring plan, but they trust Crown Prince Jing’s strategist (and if some of the older ones look on him speculatively, as if they might, perhaps, recognize him, then it only enhances Mei Changsu’s authority). If Mei Changsu’s plan works as he promises it will, then they will have a few hard weeks of battle instead of four to six months of bloody attrition. It is a risk every officer knows is worth taking, so they all settle in to plan and, in some cases, pray.

One beautiful morning when the snow is not yet falling and the cliffs above them sparkle cheerfully in the bright sunlight, Marshal Mei gives the order.

They go to war.

---

Lin Chen is covered head to toe in blood. It’s not his blood, in fact it is not a single person’s blood. Meng Zhi would bet that even Lin Chen does not know how many soldiers have bled on him today.

After three exhausting days of direct and vicious battle, it has been three weeks of violent squirmishes. Mei Changsu’s brilliance as a strategist is evident as they keep beating the Da Yu armies back, but nonetheless their casualties are significant. Not enough to hinder them (as Mei Changsu points out often, as if he is trying to convince himself) but enough to keep Lin Chen and his staff of medics working frantically around the clock.

Which is why Meng Zhi is surprised to find Lin Chen standing in front of him like a blood ghoul out of a fairy tale. Even his hair, which is combed back into practical braids, is dripping blood.

“What is wrong?” Meng Zhi stands from where he was organizing reports to pass on to Mei Changsu later.

“I need you to cover for me.”

He reassesses all the blood. “Cover...what, exactly?”

Lin Chen rolls his eyes. “If I did not have previous proof of your intelligence I would think you are as smart a rock.”

“Hey!”

“I mean, you need to keep Mei Changsu from finding out I’m not in camp.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Did you expect me to argue?”

“Yes! I did! Aren’t you curious as to why?”

“Of course I am, but I trust you. If you think I don’t need to know, then I am sure I don’t need to know.”

Lin Chen looks at him like he is an insane man, which is unfair as he is not the one standing around drenched in blood and planning to sneak out of camp for mysterious reasons. Lin Chen squints at him. “Why are you always like this? How are you so weird?”

Meng Zhi sighs, sitting back down. “Lin Chen, if you want to go, then go. I have work to do.”

“Fine! I’ll just go then!” He twirls around like a dancing girl and flits out of the tent, sprinkling blood drops in his wake. Meng Zhi reconsiders his “Lin Chen is secretly a demon” theory, but decides that’s just another thing he’d rather not know about and puts it away again.

When Mei Changsu returns late that night from leading a small incursion force, he falls into bed and into Meng Zhi’s arms and doesn’t even ask about Lin Chen anyway.

(He still demands a thorough fucking, though.)

---

Until the day he dies, Meng Zhi will remember the exact moment in time he was told that his husband had fallen in battle.

He was seconds away from mounting his horse to lead a group of men on a reconnaissance mission. It was mid-morning, cloudy, and muddy — snow had fallen the night before, but the morning saw a rise in temperature turning everything to slush. The smell of roasted chicken was thick in the air, the sounds of a busy camp buzzing like familiar bees around him. He was wearing his second-best set of leather armor because it was more worn down and quieter (not that they were sneaking into enemy territory, but their mission was delicate enough to call for caution). He had not seen Mei Changsu since the day before, when he led a larger force out for a direct action.

The soldier who stood next to him was very young and terrified and spit out the news as quickly as he could talk: Mei Changsu had fallen after taking a spear to the chest but had been brought back alive. That was all the soldier knew.

Meng Zhi stopped cold, suddenly confused about everything. Lieutenant Chao grabbed the reins out of his hand, and he tried to grab them back.

“General Meng, no. You will be in no shape to complete this mission if you don’t see him first.”

Meng Zhi accepted the gentle scolding and ran for the hospital tents.

Those moments, he knows, will be carved into his memory forever.

He is not sure if Mei Changsu is dead or dying, but he is certain that recovery is not possible. The spears of the Da Yu are fierce, serrated weapons which are often covered in poison or dung, to better infect and kill the victim. He runs like he never has before, soldiers diving out of his way. Word spreads fast in a military camp, and it is likely they all know why he is running.

Mei Changsu is already stripped of his armor and clothes by the time Meng Zhi skids to a stop. In deference to his rank, Marshall Mei is settled in a private tent, and Lin Chen is there shouting orders. Which means, Meng Zhi thinks through the fog of his panic, that Mei Changsu is at least still alive. He will have a chance to say goodbye to him properly.

Steeling himself, he steps forward into the mayhem. There are two medics at Mei Changsu’s side, applying pressure to his wounds, front and back, which means he was stabbed through-and-through. Blood is leaking out from between their fingers, thick and oily where it has soaked through the bandages they are using for compression. In the corner, Fei Liu is staring at Mei Changsu with wide, furious eyes and his fists held tightly at his sides. Meng Zhi knows better than to approach him in this state, and instead focuses on his husband.

Mei Changsu is, unfortunately, awake. He’s in shock, though, his eyes glassy and bright, staring straight up at the ceiling and seeing nothing.

“There you are!” Lin Chen turns on him.

“I’m not leaving. I want to say goodbye.”

Lin Chen freezes as if Meng Zhi dumped a pail of cold water on him. “Goodbye?”

Meng Zhi motions at where Mei Changsu is spread out on the table, in shock and bleeding to death.

Lin Chen looks over at his patient in confusion. “Oh, that. It’s fine, it’s fine.”

Meng Zhi stares at him. It must be his own form of shock, he thinks, making Lin Chen go crazy. It is tragic to see, but grief affects even the strongest minds in the worst way. He nods as there is no point in arguing with someone so far gone. Instead he steps through the blood pooling on the ground and takes his husband’s hand. Mei Changsu’s eyelids flutter. Meng Zhi does not want him to die in pain, but he hopes he is present enough to know he is not alone.

“My darling, my beloved. Thank you for holding on for me.” He brushes sweat-damp hair off of Mei Changsu’s face. “It means so much to me that I can say goodbye to you, and—”

“Drink this,” Lin Chen says, shoving a cup to his face forcefully. Instinct makes him open his mouth and drink in the tea, which is the foulest crap ever to pass his lips.

“What!?” He sputters. “Lin Chen, back off!”

“Sorry! Go on, go on.”

“Fuck.” Meng Zhi snarls at Lin Chen’s back before returning to Mei Changsu. “You can’t tell me you will miss that menace, I don’t believe you.” He kisses Mei Changsu’s cold, waxy cheek. “I will miss you, though. So much, with all my heart. If you meet Yin Yin, I hope you get along, but please do not share embarrassing stories about me. She has a terrible laugh, it’s like a honking goose. Not that yours is any better. Perhaps that is how I shall find you both in our next lives, with your matching terrible honking!”

“Sweet, very sweet. I am moved. Give me your other hand.”

He holds out his hand and barely feels a needle being slid into his arm right above his wrist. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing! Keep going, I’m sure your voice is soothing for him.”

“I— fine! Xiao Su, the brother-in-law you are leaving me with is crazy. He will be a terrible influence on our sons, so please do not be offended if I kick him out of Jinling.”

“Oi! We’re not related! I wouldn’t claim you if you paid me!” He then mumbles something about taking the boys with him if he leaves, which Meng Zhi ignores.

“He’s stabbing me with needles while you lay here. What good is he?”

“Oi!!!”

Sometimes, in the face of death, all you can do is laugh. Meng Zhi chuckles at Lin Chen’s aggravation, and whispers in Mei Changsu’s ear. “I promise to continue insulting him for the rest of our lives, just for you.”

He’s ignoring what the medics are doing to Mei Changsu over his shoulder. It doesn’t matter, anyway. Between the poison of the bitter flame, the bingxu pill, and the filthy spear wound puncturing his chest, Mei Changsu doesn’t have much longer to live. Hopefully they can make it comfortable for him.

“Sit down.” Lin Chen shoves chair under his ass, so Meng Zhi sits. He’s feeling a bit dizzy himself — he knows that the shock of loss and the despair of grief will take him under, eventually, once his beloved is gone forever. This is sadly a losing battle he knows all too well. In the meantime he keeps murmuring his love to Mei Changsu. He promises to raise their sons to be dutiful and filial men; he promises to support Prince Jing until he dies; he promises to personally oversee Tengsheng’s martial arts training; he promises that this is his last marriage; he promises to find him again in their next lives, no matter the cost.

He waits and waits for Mei Changsu’s final breath.

He waits, until darkness claims him.