8. Chapter 8

When he woke up in Mei Changsu’s bed after their morning of grief and tears for the Grand Empress Dowager, Meng Zhi honestly expected to be summarily tossed out like so much garbage.

Instead, Mei Changsu had carefully extracted himself from Meng Zhi’s drowsy clutch then simply let Meng Zhi go back to sleep while he dressed and went to work at his small bedroom desk. When Meng Zhi himself had finally rolled out of bed in the late afternoon, their conversation was comfortable and easy. He was unsure exactly what Mei Changsu was thinking about the whole situation, but that was nothing new, so Meng Zhi set aside his worries and enjoyed basking in his beloved’s very presence as much as he was allowed.

Meng Zhi is grateful that his marriage has resumed the friendliness he was accustomed to, because the months following the Grand Empress Dowager’s death are nothing but turmoil. Prince Jing is given control of the Capitol Patrols, Jingrui departs for Southern Chu, the emperor’s birthday comes and goes, and Meng Zhi manages to avoid becoming a liability over the verbal decree the emperor gave him to seal the Eastern Palace. The crown prince is in complete disgrace. The uproar of change and stress seems unending.

Then Prince Jing gets himself posted to help with disaster relief to the five states to the north over Prince Yu’s attempts to manage it, something Mei Changsu orchestrated, if his smug expression over dinner that evening was anything to go by (it amuses him no end that people call his husband “placid and indecipherable” because he’s really anything but), and Meng Zhi hopes that it means Mei Changsu will finally take a break. It is fortunate timing, he thinks, since soon afterward the emperor announces he is traveling to spend three days at the Grand Empress Dowager’s tomb. Meng Zhi will of course accompany him, which is not ideal but is, in fact, his job so he can’t complain about it to anyone but his husband (who at least humors him with soft smiles and sarcastic commentary, and Meng Zhi feels so very lucky).

The day before he leaves, Dr. Yan finds him in his private study, which is unusual enough to make Meng Zhi instantly worried. But the man is simply hoping that Meng Zhi will help to convince Mei Changsu to take to bed rest for a few days, which Meng Zhi wholly supports.

Mei Changsu, of course, does not support the idea at all, but with Li Gang, Zhen Ping, Dr. Yan, Fei Liu and Meng Zhi himself blocking his every escape route, he acquiesces.

As much as Meng Zhi is not looking forward traveling out of the city, he’s glad everything at the capital is calm. With the crown prince under house arrest and Prince Jing out in the hinterlands, he’s certain everything will be peaceful. Mei Changsu will surely get some restorative sleep.

What could possibly go wrong?

---

Three days.

Three. Fucking. Days.

Wei Zheng was captured, Mei Changsu fell into a coma, and something is going on in the inner palace with Consort Jing. That last would normally not concern him but Prince Jing is due back in a couple of days and Meng Zhi has enough political acumen to know that somehow, right now, they are all flies in a spider’s web. With Mei Changsu out of the game, everything is falling apart.

It all went to hell in three days while Meng Zhi was not there and he is furious.

He has no one to blame but the emperor, though, which is something he cannot ever say or even suggest, so instead he forces Zhen Ping to joust with him until they are both sweat drenched and swaying with exhaustion.

After he bathes and dresses, he visits Mei Changsu, who is still in a fevered daze from his condition or the medicine or, most likely, both. Dr. Yan promises that this is temporary and Mei Changsu will wake up as healthy as he ever is, but it is small consolation. Meng Zhi stares at his husband, who is unconscious and even thinner than normal and drenched in the sweat of sickness.

There is nothing they can do but wait, and pray. He holds Mei Changsu’s cold hand and tries not to remember a different death watch from so long ago.

---

Eventually, Mei Changsu barely recovers enough to crawl out of bed and Prince Jing is a damned idiot, but Wei Zheng gets rescued. It’s all incredibly dramatic and politically complicated.

That does not prepare Meng Zhi for this.

“No. You’re not going. Xia Jiang can rot in hell first.” He straps on his sword, motions to Zhen Ping and Li Gang and Fei Liu who are more than ready to stand with him. He’s sent the younger boys to his aunt’s house, and called on Marquis Yan to step up and fucking help them . He’s not entirely sure where Prince Jing stands on this matter, but he also doesn’t care given how the fool let Mei Changsu stand in the cold and the snow for hours. Never let it be said that the Mengs can’t hold a grudge.

“You’re throwing your life away on this. It is not a hill to die on, Commander,” Mei Changsu says calmly, still looking bloodless and frail under his fur cloak.

“You’re right, it’s not, and that is why you are not going.” He waves to his personal guard, the men who have served with him the longest and who are willing to put their lives on the line in more ways than one. They run to set up defensive positions on the front roof. Xia Jiang is going to make a production out of this, Meng Zhi knows that for a fact, so their best strategy is to bluff for as long as possible and then outlast the siege. They have food to last for well over a month if they ration it — Xia Jiang would have to set fire to the manor to smoke them out. The emperor will step in long before that, though, given that the commander of the Imperial Guards is the one holed up under siege.

“I have to go,” Mei Changsu says, still calm as he watches the preparations for battle take over his home.

Their home.

The home Meng Zhi has made with his husband and his sons. They don’t even have their daughters yet, and there is still so much more for them to do.

Xia Jiang cannot have Mei Changsu. Not now, not ever .

Meng Zhi feels his chest rattle with rage. Mei Changsu has sacrificed so much — he has sacrificed Lin Shu — for his goals, and he should not be made to suffer and possibly die at the hands of a monster like Xia Jiang. Meng Zhi has never trusted that man, not for one second of any day, and everything Mei Changsu has told him about the bureau chief has only proven how dangerous the bastard is.

“You will not be safe with him!”

“The emperor himself has agreed for Xia Jiang to interrogate me.” Mei Changsu walks over to him, slowly, almost limping from the effort. He stops in front of Meng Zhi and gently takes his hands in his. “Ah-Zhi, you must trust me more than you ever have before. I need you at the palace. I need you in the place where I put you so you can save me. This will be very difficult for me and may last for days; I can only do this if I know you are out here, waiting for me. My Ah-Zhi. Please .”

He clutches at Mei Changsu’s delicate fingers as hard as he dares but cannot look him in the eye. “You have never called me that before. You have never called me your Ah-Zhi .” He shakes his head. “It is cruel of you to do so now, just to get your way.” He pulls his hands away and turns his back to Mei Changsu. “But I am a fool, which you know. I will do as you ask. I only beg that you remember your promise to me. I will only ever hold you to that oath between us.”

He walks away, calling his officers from their stations to follow him to the palace. He does not turn around to look at Mei Changsu. He trusts this will not be the last time he sees him.

---

Mei Changsu is a lucky bastard, despite all appearances. He survived the Chiyan massacre when 70,000 didn’t, he survived imprisonment in the Xuan Jing Bureau’s dungeon, and has also apparently survived the wujin poison Xia Jiang force fed him.

Meng Zhi believes he deserves medals and commendations for not ripping Xia Jiang’s arms out of their sockets when he and Prince Jing visited him in the prison, looking for the antidote. Of course, for a moment it looked like Prince Jing was the one who would do it first.

For all his fear and worry, Meng Zhi can see clearly how much Prince Jing loves Mei Changsu. He knows the feeling is mutual, since despite recent events and visible exhaustion Mei Changsu rouses with light in his eyes when the Prince comes to visit him a few days later.

Dr. Yan is cagey about the reason Mei Changsu’s supposed illness neutralized the wujin poison, but Prince Jing doesn’t seem to care, radiating happiness as he sits next to Mei Changsu’s bed. Meng Zhi is far more suspicious, but who can he ask about it and get an honest answer? If this is a secret Mei Changsu is keeping, there is no key to the lock.

He remembers Mei Changsu calling him “my Ah-Zhi” to manipulate him, telling him how much he needed him. Everything Meng Zhi has longed to hear, given to him without pause but only in the service of Mei Changsu’s goals. Meng Zhi trusts Mei Changsu with his life, but it is clearer than ever that his heart has no such guarantee.

He watches the two men talking, the prince as animated as he ever gets and Mei Changsu listening with a subtle smile on his lips. He glances over quickly, as if checking to see if Meng Zhi is still there, but his expression is too fond to be meant for him. Meng Zhi nods in acknowledgement then quickly turns and leaves them alone.

He has his home, his sons, and Mei Changsu’s promise to live. He reminds himself that is far more than he had hoped to have in his life just two years ago, even if the price for it all is to simply be a pawn for Mei Changsu to use at will.

It hurts to watch Mei Changsu reunite with his loved ones and build a life for himself that only incidentally includes Meng Zhi, but he was never promised more than that, and he knows he would do well to keep that in mind.

He’s slept alone in his bed since they were married, but he has never truly felt lonely until now.