They fought. It did not happen often, but when it did, it was with a vengeance. Nicholas had been back with Danny, exclusively, for months now. Andy missed Nicholas' calming ways around the flat, as no one else seemed to talk Andrew down from his moods quite the way Nick did. Andy's tactic was usually tied to 'some form of blow job,' and while it generally worked, this time it did not.
Andy knew that Andrew was instrumental in getting Nicholas and Danny back together, but that it somehow cost him. Andy did not imagine that Andrew was in love with Nicholas, though. It was something else between those two, some line of communication that they had which Andy did not understand. Whatever it was, Andy knew it was broken now, perhaps for good, and that price was beginning to take its toll on Andrew. He was becoming mean and short tempered, more than usual in any case, and with Andy, which was very unusual.
So they fought. It was about nothing, but it became something, and Andy ended up throwing a lamp at the wall, daring Andrew to a fight when Andrew threatened to beat the crap out of him. Andrew scared himself then, terrified as always that he might hurt Andy, and backed off, although he did not apologize. Later when they were talking civilly again Andrew grabbed him and grudged fucked him without mercy and it was, all in all, a great way to make up. But Andy knew things were generally getting worse, not better, and that tempered his expectations.
Andy was not happy with Andrew these days, but did not quite understand what was wrong, and so did not possess even a clue as to how it could be fixed.
They walked into their office and sat down at their desks. Andy was being very quiet and self-absorbed these days, and it annoyed the fuck out of Andrew, who did not like any part of Andy to be closed to him. He watched Andy out of the corner of his eye and noticed that he picked up a small sticky note on his desk, smiled at it in a way that Andy almost never did at anything, then crumpled it up and threw it away. Andrew would not have thought much about it if not for the fact that Andy's entire attitude changed in that instant. Andy leaned back and looked out the window, relaxed, and…happy. Andrew seethed with jealous rage, realizing that whatever was on that note hit something deep in Andy that was closed even to Andrew these days.
Andrew pretended not to notice a thing. Later, when Andy left to use the restroom, he jumped over and picked up the sticky note:
'Rio Bravo'
He stared at it. He did not recognize the handwriting, which looked forced. It was Spanish, something 'brave'…'river brave'…'brave river.'
He muttered. Brave River? What the fuck?
He crumpled it back up just the way it was and replaced it in exactly the spot where it originally rested in the waste tin, and was sitting in his chair long before Andy ever got back.
They were all standing around the room in the usual post-lunch haze of a lazy day. Danny was laughing and Nicholas shook his head as they leaned against desks, continuing their argument from the pub. The Andes followed them in separately, as they had not joined the team at the pub, and if Nicholas had money on him, he would bet that they were still flushed from a 'quickie' at their own flat. Lunch indeed. Nicholas smirked at Andrew and turned his attention back to the argument.
"I'm sorry, Danny, it's a terrible movie."
Danny groaned. "It's a classic, Nicholas!"
"I 'ave to agree with Danny, Inspector. Quite the classic. One of John Wayne's most memorable roles." Tony defended.
"Wot movie is that?" Andrew asked, shoving by Danny on the way to the detectives' office.
"Rio Bravo. It was one of Dad's favorites. It's great! I watch it all the time."
Nicholas saw Andrew stop, and the hair on the back of Nicholas' neck went up at the body language. Andrew looked at Andy, who for a brief moment seemed to actually be glowing in Danny's general direction until he saw Andrew looking at him. Nothing made sense; the situation was going sour, but Nicholas had no idea how or why, and was simply too confused to do anything in the second when Andrew turned and hurled himself at Danny.
It was no contest and Danny went down quickly, crashing into desks and trying to defend himself from Andrew's primal and vicious attack. Even Doris leapt into the fray with Nicholas and Tony and Walker as they tried to pull the two apart. Andy was frozen to the spot, horrified, but unwilling to touch either man, apparently. People started screaming indiscriminately and finally Tony managed to haul Danny one direction while Nicholas, Doris, and Walker dragged Andrew in the other.
The minute they were separated it was over. Andrew shook off his handlers and stood against the wall, coiled and fuming, and staring at Andy. Danny was bloodied and Doris ran for the med kit.
"What the FUCK are you doing!" Nicholas shouted, and everyone froze. "What on earth gives you the right to hit a fellow officer, Sergeant? What the FUCK!" Nicholas kicked a waste tin and it slammed into the wall. "YOU are on administrative leave! GET OUT!"
Surprisingly, Andrew looked crushed at the rebuke from him. It was not the reaction he expected and Nicholas did not follow through with physically throwing him out, as he originally planned to do. Andrew collected himself in the next instant, gave Nicholas a curt nod, and walked out, slamming the doors behind him.
Nicholas looked over at Andy, expecting to see him destroyed, but instead found him angry.
"Do you have any idea what this was about, Sergeant Cartwright?" Nicholas asked harshly, his confusion only feeding his anger.
"Yeah. I do." Andy said that much and nothing else. He walked over to where Doris was standing, grabbed the med kit out of her hands, and turned on Danny. He set the kit down on a desk, opened it, and began tending Danny's wounds silently and carefully.
Everyone just stared at them.
Andy followed them home to Nicholas' cottage. It was not really planned, but Danny made it clear that Andy was joining them, that they were going to the cottage and not his flat, and that Nicholas had no say so in the matter. Nicholas was getting used to that last part, but it still seemed odd to be walking into his house with his lover, trailing a man who used to be his lover, after witnessing a bloody fight somehow involving both those men and another man who used to be his lover. He shook his head.
When they were all inside the door, Danny rounded on them both, and Nicholas nearly got a hard-on in that very second at the look of complete authority that Danny gave them.
"Andy, go make dinner. Nicholas, you're helping me get washed up. We will eat dinner, and then you, Nicholas, will go visit Andrew and spend the night and make sure he is okay. Andy will stay here."
Nicholas just stared. "What?"
"You 'eard me."
"Why am I going to Andrew's?"
"Because you are the only one he'll listen to." Danny folded his arms, and Andy nodded in agreement.
"I don't think that is a good idea, Danny…" Nicholas did not really want to say why, so he did not say anything at all.
"Andrew's mad at me, Danny, not you." Andy shook his head, agreeing with Nicholas, who was relieved at the back up.
"Which is whyyyyy you are stayin' here, love."
At that, Nicholas stopped. The look Danny gave Andy was affectionate, and full of authority, and much the same kind of look he gave Nicholas when bossing him around the house. It was the expression of a man who knew he had complete control.
"Sweet jesus, it was you." Nicholas fell back against the wall as Andy and Danny turned to look at him. Neither man answered. "It was you…where you went that night…" Nicholas pointed at Andy. "That night you walked out, when I offered…oh, god…" Nicholas slid down the wall in shock.
Danny got down next to him. "You can't say anything about that, Nick. We weren't together then. You got no say in that."
"No, no, Danny, I know that. I don't…I mean, that's…I just…never expected…that was your secret, the one you could not tell me?" Nicholas hauled himself back up to standing while Danny nodded grimly. Nicholas turned. "Andy, on purpose? Did you go to Danny on purpose?"
"No. Not really, Nick. Not like that. I just needed…someplace safe, yeah?"
Nicholas nodded. It made sense, and Andy was not the vengeful kind. He was still nodding as Danny grabbed him and kissed him.
"I love you, Nick. But you need to go take care of Andrew. I'm tellin' you to do that. And…" Danny looked off to the side. "I know, okay? I know what might 'appen. I'm tellin' you, it's okay."
Nicholas shoved him off, angry. "This isn't like that, Danny. I don't need him now, I don't need 'that' and I don't think sending me over there is a good idea."
Danny just looked at him knowingly. "I know you, Nick. One's never enough for you."
At that, Nicholas froze, utterly ashamed.
"Andy, dinner. Nicholas, bath. Let's roll." Danny turned, headed to the bathroom and Andy turned into the kitchen, without question. In the bathroom, Nicholas helped Danny out of his clothes and they saw the complete tally of damage left by Andrew – more cuts and a number of bruises. He leaned into the shower to start the water and then felt Danny behind him, wrapping his arms around him, and they both went down to their knees next to the tub. Danny kissed his back and massaged him and soon they were lost in each other as Danny slammed himself into Nicholas, holding on to the edge of the tub for support. It was passionate and hard and fast, and when they were done, Danny turned Nicholas over into his lap and kissed his neck.
"You can try, Nicholas, but nothing you do will ever take you from me again."
An hour later, as Andy cleared away the dishes, Nicholas put on his jacket and headed over to Andrew's. But when he got there, no one was home.
"What do you think in the name of god you are doing here?"
"Shut it, Lizard. I need to crash here."
"You most certainly can't. Go away."
Andrew rolled his eyes at her, exasperated. "I'm not here to fuck you. I just need to be someplace that Angel won't look."
"Well that's here, for damn sure. But your little lover's spats don't mean crap to me."
Andrew bunched up, but forced himself to relax. "Don' know wot you mean."
"Oh yes you do. You expect me to believe that you are hiding out from That Bastard for professional reasons? You hate him. I sympathize, but not my problem." She went to close the door but Andrew put his foot in the way.
"Liz, please."
Surprised, she looked him in the face, and opened the door.
Nicholas had Andy's keys so he let himself in. It was clear that Andrew was there earlier, probably cleaning up from the fight himself. There was no clue as to where he went, so Nicholas sat down on the couch with a beer to wait for him.
They were nearly down to the bottom of the bottle. Liz was little past caring if Andrew was there to try and seduce her, and she got the distinct impression that he was not. At all. They were playing a trivia game she dragged out when they argued over what to watch on TV, and she was losing, badly.
"Oh, crap."
"Yep, s'true. The third U.S. president to be assassinated was William McKinley."
"Well, crap."
"You're pissed." Andrew laughed as he topped off her drink with more vodka.
"Do I get points for that?"
"Noooo…so you really break up the hospital?"
Liz was taken off guard by the personal turn in the conversation, and answered honestly. "Hell yes, I did. I just found out the man…men…I loved were cheating on me. With yourrrr boyfriend, I might add." She frowned at him.
"Wouldn't call him that." Andrew sat back and frowned in return.
"Whatever you call him."
Andrew looked up at the ceiling. "Everything."
"You call him Everything?" She took a swig from her glass and squinted at him, confused. He laughed, and it really was a charming laugh, she decided. For an Andrew.
"So you broke up the hospital? Stupid."
"Well how would you feel if the person you loved went around shagging someone else?" She snorted, then stopped at the look on his face. "Crap. That's why you're here. Andy…and Nicholas? Again? That Bastard really can't keep his pants on, can he…"
"Not 'im." Andrew finished his drink in one take and held out his glass for a refill. She poured obligingly, but glared at him.
"Not Nick?"
"Yeah yeah, Nick fucked Andy. A lot. Hell I was there most of the time." Andrew laughed and then stopped, aware that he said something he was not supposed to. Liz just sat, stunned. She could not imagine how…or why…or when…
"You…were…there?"
"Fuck'on, Liz…it's a long story."
Liz topped off his glass. "I've got all fucking night."
Andy automatically set up the sheets at the foot of the bed, and Danny stared at him.
"No. Bed."
Andy stood dumb, in the middle of the room, with the blankets in his hands. "That's Nick's bed."
"What's Nick's is mine, and you been in it before, Andy. Now com'ere." Danny pulled back the sheets but Andy did not move. "Andy, I won't touch you. Well we can cuddle, yeah? But I know you're Andrew's, I ain't dumb. This isn't like before. I just don't like bein' alone."
Andy smiled, remembering again why he loved Danny Butterman.
"No. Shit." Liz leaned back, amazed. "That Bastard really gets around."
"Not the point of my fuckin' story, Lizard."
"I hate it when you call me that."
They sat in silence while she absorbed what he told her. He left a lot out, but the gist of it was simple enough.
"So I broke up the hospital waiting room, and you broke up Danny?"
"Yeah. Just like that." They were out of mixer and down to shots, and he slammed one.
"I just don't see Danny doing that, you know? He's like…That Bastard's puppy dog."
"You don't give 'im much credit, Liz."
"Who? That Bastard or Danny?"
Andrew thought about that. "Both."
"Hmph. Now wait, were you and Andy really, you know, 'official' when that happened?"
"What the fuck difference does that make? You sound like a girl."
"I am a girl, you idiot. Aren't you a detective, and you missed that?"
"I didn't miss at the barn." He said it, simply, not maliciously, but his point hit home.
"Fuck you."
"You did."
"Not really."
"Yeah, oh yeah: I fucked you. Did I get that mixed up?"
"So now you are going to hit on me?"
"I got what I wanted. No." He poured another round of shots and she shut up for a bit.
"But the answer is no, you and Andy were not really official when he did that, were you? Because if you were, Andy would not have done it." Liz raised her glass and saluted him before slamming it.
Andrew just stared at her.
Andy rolled into Danny's arms. They were not naked but it was still personal and physical and Andy wanted to be taken care of while, somewhere, Andrew raged. Danny held him and kissed his temple and rubbed his arms and asked nothing of him.
"Danny?"
"Yeah?"
"Would you?"
"No."
"Glad I didn't ask."
Danny hugged him. "You goin' to be able to sleep, love?"
"No."
"Eh." Danny sniffed thoughtfully.
"You sent 'im over to Andrew. You know what's goin' to happen, Danny."
"Yeah." Danny sounded resigned. "I can't stop 'im, Andy. It's the way Nicholas is, I think. He'll come back to me, yeah? That's all that matters."
"You know Andrew gave him up for you."
Danny snorted. "Gave him up, Andy? I almost had to fight 'im. I know you love 'im, Andy, but…"
"No. It didn't happen that way."
"What you mean?"
Andy told him.
Later, they were sitting on her couch, side by side. "So…you and That Bastard."
"Wot?"
"You left something out, there."
Andrew did not answer.
"Ohmighod. You're in love with him!" She sat up and looked at him, but he did not look at her.
"Not like that."
"Like what, then?"
Andrew thought carefully before answering. "Like a mirror image, yeah? Like…we could be each other, if things were different. If I were born in London and went to the right schools and…all that crap. Or if he were born in a small village in fuck all nowhere. Like we…" He trailed off, thinking.
"Balance each other. Like your life would tilt off and everything would slide down onto the floor in shambles if that person was not there to keep you steady…to keep you strong." Liz spoke, looking thoughtfully out the window into the dark, hidden night outside, thinking about the darkness leaking into her life and her inability to stop it.
"Yeah. That's it. How…?"
"That's how I feel about Geo…except not the sex part."
"Never say fuckin' never. I wasn't always a flaming queer." He snorted as he said it, trying not to laugh, and they both ended up on the floor in hysterics.
They sat in the bed, neither one talking for a while. "You mean it, Andy? It was all an act?"
"Not an act. Just…planned out. Never said he wasn't a bastard." Andy smiled. "It cost 'im though, to give up Nick. I don't know how. He hasn't been right since."
"He loves you. What he got on Nicholas?"
"I don't know. Wish I did."
Danny sniffed thoughtfully again. "I think you should."
"What you mean?"
"Well you ain't sleepin' anyway, and I'm tired. Get dressed. Go home." Danny smiled as he said it. He ran his hand over Andy's jaw, lovingly, then pushed him off the bed.
Nicholas woke up at the sound of the door opening, but it was not Andrew. Andy walked in and threw his jacket over a chair, and they looked at each other.
"Danny."
"Oh. I suppose it is a good decision."
"He ain't here?"
"No. I've just been waiting."
"Any idea wot you goin' to do when he gets here?"
"Yes."
Andy nodded. "Might be what he needs."
"What do you mean by that?"
"We'll find out." Andy shrugged and started getting undressed.
"Andy, Andrew's in a jealous rage. Is seducing me going to help this situation?"
"No. But I'm fuckin' horny."
"….Oh."
He got home at four in the morning, after Liz finally kicked him out. As he left she gave him a small hug, and he returned it with a small hug, and something about that exchange made him happy. That feeling faded when he saw Nicholas and Andy on his couch. Andy was naked, lying in Nicholas' arms, who was fully dressed and had his head tilted up on the arm rest.
"Wot the fuck you two up to? Why the hell are you here, Angel?" He glared at Andy as he walked into the kitchen, suddenly deciding that a beer at four in the morning on top of a fifth of vodka was a great idea.
"Where you been?" Andy asked, not moving as they woke up.
"Out."
"With who?"
"No one you know."
"You go fuckin' around?" Andy asked it without any emotion in his voice, and Nicholas, who was finally awake, just looked at him, surprised.
"Nope." Andrew got his beer and went to his room. Nicholas followed, as he suspected he might, and heard him tell Andy to stay on the couch. When they were alone in Andrew's room, he turned on him. "You stayin'?"
Nicholas nodded, then crossed his arms. "You're right, you know. It was Danny."
"…Danny tell you?"
"I figured it out."
Andrew growled. "So did I." They sat in silence for a bit. "Why you here, Nick?"
"Danny sent me."
"That's fucked up. He hates me." Andrew snorted.
"That's Danny. I think he wanted you to let off steam without hurting Andy."
"Let off steam?" Andrew looked at him, confused and suspicious.
"That's why Danny sent me." Nicholas stood up and started getting undressed.
It was not the way it used to be. Nicholas was past his punishment and release cycle, and did not need Andrew to be strong for him. He was strong on his own again, or at the very least he had Danny again, and he was here with Danny's blessing, and he really, really wanted Andrew. It caught Andrew off guard, and they tumbled over the bed, practically wrestling as they kissed.
"Christ, Nick…what…"
Nicholas reached out and locked the fingers of his hands behind Andrew's neck and pulled him into a kiss as they rolled off the bed. Nicholas finished the roll on top, straddling Andrew, and pushing his hard-on into him. They were shirtless but still had their pants on so the grinding was not as effective as it could be, but it was still good, and Andrew moaned. Nicholas sat back and shook his head, running his hands down Andrew's soft, fuzzy chest. Andrew, who was still somewhat drunk, just blinked. Nicholas pressed down and ran his hands back up, pushing into Andrew as he did. He leaned back over and kissed him in the middle of his chest, and ran his tongue up in circles until he got to Andrew's neck, and started sucking on skin.
"Nick, damnit, don't leave any marks…" Andrew tried unsuccessfully to push him off.
"I want you."
"I'm here on the damn floor under you, what the fuck else you want?"
Nicholas used his knees to push Andrew's legs out and put himself inside them, and by the time Andrew understood what he was doing, Nicholas leaned back and pulled up his waist using his belt loops, throwing him off balance.
"Fuck no, Nick, I don't do that." Andrew leveraged his arms to pull himself backward, off of Nicholas, but he scooted forward with him. "I told you, no."
"I'm not asking." Nicholas kept scooting forward with him but undid his own pants and lowered them down over his erection, rubbing it as he did so, and then crawling out of his pants completely as he trailed Andrew. Andrew finally ended up with his back pressed to the door and nowhere else to back peddle to.
"Nick, for fuck's sake, this ends now." Andrew rolled over to get away but Nicholas grabbed an arm and threw him back over.
"You're drunk, Andrew, and I'm not. We're matched in a fight, even odds, but not right now. And I want you." Nicholas began undoing Andrew's pants, and he tried to fight him off.
"Nick! Fuckin' stop!"
Getting Andrew's pants off was a full on battle; they lurched across the room and back over the bed and down to the ground again. Andrew was resisting, but trying to avoid a fight that he knew he would lose. He lost anyway as Nicholas used a few martial arts moves that were not specifically designed for undressing a fighting man, but were effective in a clutch. Andrew found himself nude and bouncing off the bed to the floor, and tried to make for the door as he rolled up.
Nicholas decided that the easiest way to catch him and hold him was from behind. He grabbed him about the waist and twirled them back into the center of the room, slamming Andrew into the bed face down, and pressed against him, his hard-on pushing into Andrew's butt crack. Nicholas lay over him and held him down, but it was hardly easy and he kept rearing up and dropping his full weight on Andrew to force him back down.
"Stop fighting me, Andrew."
"Fuck! Stop!"
"What are you scared of? Think you can't take half the pain Andy does?"
At that, Andrew went still. "Nick, I don't do this, and you fuckin' know it. It's not about the pain, you fuck…"
"It's about being a man, is it? So I'm not a man, or Andy, or Danny…just you?"
"Yes! Damnit! Whatever you say, Nick, just let go."
"ANDY!" Nicholas yelled and Andy appeared as if by magic, naked and with a hard-on; he had been listening, probably out in the hall. Nicholas smiled.
"Good joke, you two. Now fuck off me!" Andrew snarled, squirming under Nicholas, finally finding leverage in his legs and pulling himself up.
"On the bed, hold his arms." Nicholas gave the instructions to Andy who jumped on the bed and grabbed Andrew's arms out of Nicholas' grasp, pulling them forward to him, forcing Andrew back face down leaning over the mattress. With Andy sitting on Andrew's arms, Nicholas dropped one hand from Andrew's chest to between his legs and started stroking his cock, bringing a hard-on up quickly with his experienced touch. He kissed Andrew's back and heard Andrew sigh, involuntarily.
"You want me to let go?"
"Not now…fuck, yessss…" Andrew pushed his hips into Nicholas' hold and grabbed the bed sheets under Andy, who was practically laying on top of his arms. He locked his own arms around Andrew's neck, pressing down on his shoulders. Nicholas leaned into him, distracting him with his body pressure, as he used his other hand to lube himself up with his own saliva. By the time Andrew clearly understood what was happening, Nicholas' cock was pressing into his crack, sliding against skin, and he balked, cursing. Nicholas scrambled for purchase and gave up trying to be considerate; he grabbed his own cock and rode it into Andrew's flesh, separating skin with his fingers guiding himself and breaching Andrew's ass. He pushed hard and shoved the head of his cock into Andrew, who screamed and started to scramble.
"God, stop moving, Andrew, I'm in you…" Nicholas gasped, and Andrew froze, in pain, terrified, understanding that the deed was done, but that Nicholas was far from finished.
"Nick, damn, just stop now." He was gasping, scared, and it only turned Nicholas on more to hear that vulnerability from him. Nicholas pushed in.
"Stop stop stop Jesus Nick stop…" Andrew kept repeating the phrase over and over, in obvious pain, begging.
"No…oh god, no…" Nicholas wrapped his arms around Andrew's waist and pulled him in as he pushed with his hips, slowly, even as Andrew began another weak attempt to pull off, his body shaking uncontrollably. "Stop fighting it, Andrew…damn, just let it happen, man….oh, yes, you feel so good…please…" Nicholas' words broke down as he started thrusting in and out of Andrew, who was too shocked to keep fighting. He just lay under Nicholas and Andy, tired and confused, sweating, shaking, and still begging. But the words only pushed Nicholas further into his own lust; furious and driven with the passion he held for breaking this man, Nicholas grabbed the edge of the bed and hauled himself towards it, which dragged them together even closer. The act pulled Nicholas up further on his knees and drove his cock down to hit Andrew's prostrate and the reaction was primal and automatic as Andrew began slamming against him, crying out in fear and pleasure, begging Nicholas to stop even as his body betrayed his needs. It was not the pain or the fear that gave Nicholas the heat to keep going when a rational mind would have stopped, but the knowledge he had of being a strong man desperate to be weak for once. He knew he was driving Andrew into a head space that was pure abandonment, pure release, and pure absolution. He knew what it did for him, and he was desperate in his own way to give that experience back to Andrew – a blessing, or a punishment, it was all very much the same.
Nicholas was well into a sweat when he finally felt Andrew reposition himself and start to breathe deeply and finally, as Nicholas leaned back and held onto his hips, slamming into him with all the power he had, he heard Andrew groan and cry out and arch his back. Nicholas looked up again to see the Andes kissing furiously, Andrew's hands wrapped up in Andy's cock as Andy hunched over on all fours, close to coming, and shaking. Finally he broke and cried out into Andrew's neck but it was Andrew who spoke.
"Damnit, Andy, I'm so fucking sorry…" He gasped, sucking at the skin on Andy's shoulders. The apology, the weakness in the voice, the sorrow and the fear, was electrical to Nicholas, who rammed into him when he said it. Andrew cried out again, Andy wrapped around him. "Fuck yes I love you…please…I'm sorry…" His words disappeared as Andy moved to kiss him.
Nicholas slowed down and reached around again and finally spent some time getting Andrew off, stroking his cock in time to the rhythms his own hips were making, and soon it was over for Andrew, who yelled and surged forward, Nicholas riding him. Andrew pressed his face into Andy's shoulder, whose body was arching over and into Andrew.
Nicholas stopped thinking then, or planning, or controlling anything. Least of all himself, and began pounding against Andrew, gasping, choking, pushing himself as far into the man as he could, understanding only then what really existed between them and his love for him and perhaps even Andrew's love for him. He saw Andy's arms reach down over Andrew's back, helping to hold him in place against Nicholas' furious hammering, and heard Andrew, weak and open, under them both, in almost a whisper.
"Nick…god, Nick, please don't leave me like this…"
Andy looked up in surprise as Nicholas charged into his orgasm, shoving his hips against him, pushing his cock into him, pressing his head against his back and not giving a damn about damaging him, or hurting him, or any consequence he would consider with anyone else, even Danny. Andrew was strong and Andrew could take him, all of him, and Nicholas held nothing back, giving Andrew exactly everything that Andrew ever gave him, holding him up and holding him together as Andrew always did before, for him.
Danny reached out and pulled him into a bear hug as Nicholas fell into bed. He rested his head against Danny's warm, broad chest and closed his eyes.
"Tell me, love. Tell me wot you did." Danny said as he petted Nicholas' back. Nicholas did not answer. "Nicholas…tell me."
Nicholas told him, everything, from the waiting on the couch to the hand job he gave Andy before Andrew showed up to everything with Andrew. He told him how he felt now and how scared, terrified even, he was that Danny would disapprove. He even told Danny what Andrew said, and to that, Danny finally answered.
"Dunno, Nicholas, but he needs you."
"I can't do this, Danny – not to you. Not anymore." Nicholas held on to Danny as if he was sinking down in the tides of his needs and desires.
"S'okay, Nick. You'll only do what I tell you, yeah? And that makes it okay."
Nicholas let out a huge breath and pushed himself against Danny, his only real life line to normalcy and happiness. Yet even as Andrew loved Andy and Nicholas loved Danny, it took Andrew and Nicholas together to balance out their own furies and keep them from drowning in the passions they had for the men they loved.
Characters: Andrew Wainwright, Andy Cartwright, Danny Butterman, Nicholas Angel
Narrative mode: third-limited