Danny did not know why he enjoyed this so much. It was totally gay, even beyond-fucking-gay, and as a bottom Danny knew from gay. He did not even like the taste, and sometimes, he gagged, but he loved it and swallowed Nicky down to the base of his cock. Even a bottom enjoys a power trip, and that was exactly how he felt on his knees in the kitchen, after stripping Nicky out of his clothes and pushing him against the counter. Nicky was completely naked, and Danny wasn't; Nicky was completely outside of himself, and Danny was in control; Nicky was at his mercy, even if he thought the same about Danny. This was something Danny did for his own needs, which he knew he could not explain to a top like Nicky. Or maybe this was how Nicky felt all the time.
Nicky's hands gripped the counter, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. His head was thrown back and he was mumbling something which might have been Danny's name or might not, while his hips moved in time with Danny's mouth. Danny had his hands on Nicky's thighs, holding them in a vice grip to keep Nicholas from getting too carried away with his trusts. It had happened that way once before, and Danny had a sore throat for a week. Not this time.
He suspected that Nicky rather liked the pressure, anyway. Danny only topped Nicky once before; it was a traumatic event they both did not talk about, and Danny did not think that Nicky wanted that kind of attention ever again. But there were times, sometimes, late at night when they were exhausted from sex and barely coherent and Danny was still somewhat playful that he held Nicky down – brief moments, just flashes of touch, really, but they always brought Nicky back up to wide awake and horny. Usually that was all Danny was after, but it did make him wonder…and wonder at himself, more than anything.
He used his forearm to brace Nicky's thigh and brought his hand up to stroke the base. He felt Nicky tensing, his taught muscles coiling up for release. He moved the hand quickly against the shaft, pumping Nicky in time with the hip thrusts that were, now, automatic, while Danny kept a soft suction on the tip of the cock. This was a deadly combination that Danny did not use often, but he needed this tonight, to feel Nicky completely done in and given over to him. He heard and felt the gasps, the exclamations, and finally, the explosion that was Nicky when he came.
Nicky leaned forward, released the counter, and put his hands on Danny's shoulders for support, speechless. Delighted, Danny sat back a little and rubbed the spittle off his own chin and his sore jaws as he looked up at the most beautiful man he knew. It was as he moved his gaze that he saw Andy Cartwright outside the kitchen window, standing in Nicky's back yard, watching them.
He did not expected to see that, or worse, get turned on by it. His erection was strangled in his pants at the moment Danny saw him, and it was fight or flight, hard-on be damned. Andy fled.
He ran through so many gardens he lost count and ended up on the far edge of town, nowhere near the place he shared with Andy, and sometimes, Doris. In fact it was pretty much nowhere near anywhere, which was exactly where he wanted to be. He sat down on a curb and rubbed his hands through his hair. The night was cool and very dark, with the smell of winter in the air. It was not cold enough for Andy's blood, though, which roiled in self disgust and arousal and fear.
He thought for a ghastly second that Danny would tell Angel that he was there, but part of him answered, no, Danny was not going to say a word. Danny was not a tattle tale, Andy knew that much about him, and right now he placed his sanity in that knowledge.
Danny squirreled a look over towards the Andes' door. It was open, which was a bit unusual but not so much that anyone would care. Doris was out on patrol with Walker and Saxon, one of the Turners was at the front desk, and Tony was with Nicholas on a domestic dispute call over to the Reaper's farm.
His head snapped back to his paperwork when he heard Andrew bitching.
"Fuck it, then, y'gon be a wanker. I'll get m'own cigs." He walked to the office door and grabbed his coat off the rack. "You been a bitch for two days, you on the rag?"
The waste tin hit him squarely on the back of the head. "Fuck off!" Andrew hollered and stalked out, dropping coins into the swear box.
When Andrew was well and truly gone, Danny got up. He was not at all sure of what he was doing, but he felt like he needed to do something, so he walked over to the office and leaned against the door frame.
"What the fuhhhk are you doing?" Andy looked up, hostility dripping off him.
"Just checkin' on you, Andy."
Andy rolled his eyes and looked out the window, but did not throw anything at him. Danny took this as an invitation and came into the office and sat down. He saw Andy scoot back a bit in his chair.
"I'nt going to touch you, Andy." Danny grumbled, a little hurt, but trying to remember why he was here.
"You a bender then? Andrew was right."
"I don't care what Andrew thinks, Andy." Danny shifted his weight and shrugged.
Andy did not reply to that.
"I didn't tell Nick, you know. But…Andy…why was you in our…his yard? You spyin' on us?"
Andy put his head in one hand and rubbed his eyes. "I just need to talk to Arsewipe…Angel about sumthin', and saw the light on. Didn't…didn't…"
"No harm, Andy. I just wanted to know." Danny smiled. Andy did not answer him, just held his head in his hand for a little longer, then finally looked up at Danny with an expression that froze Danny to the chair.
As Andy heard Danny speak, his mind brought up the memory of Danny on his knees in the kitchen, full of Angel, sucking and pulling and pushing…He looked up at Danny and felt like his entire physical being was going to explode from the contradictory feelings inside him.
He slammed his fists into the desk as he got up. He walked around and grabbed Danny's lapels, holding him down in the chair. "Do it."
"Wha'?" Danny looked confused. He really did not understand.
"Do it. What you were…doing. Do it."
Finally, the stupid wanker got it. Andy held him, waiting, while Danny shook his head.
"I can't, Andy! Nick and I…we're…dunno…I can't!" Panicked, Danny reached up and pushed on Andy's stomach with both hands. He forgot how strong Danny was and did not brace himself enough, ending up halfway over his desk as Danny lurched off the chair and ran out.
"What on earth is bothering you?" Nicholas sat on the couch, studying Danny with a mixture of concern and aggravation. They were at Danny's place – it was Thursday, after all – and Liz was taking a long weekend in London to see her friend Geo, so they were batch'ing it. Nicholas thought that was lovely, at first; he adored Liz but she was high strung at times. Sometimes he just wanted Danny's carefree, happy aura to wash over him and help him relax.
This, unfortunately, was not happening.
"Nicky…just…dunno…"
Nicholas shook his head. Danny was unable to make complete sentences all evening.
"You just need some sex to relax you, then?" Nicholas tried to be detached about it, since he was not really in the mood himself, but knowing that on occasion it was just something physical a man needed to wind down from…whatever. Whatever was bothering Danny. He was floored by the absolutely terrified look Danny gave him.
"Damnit, Danny! What is wrong?" He moved to sit closer to Danny, and laid a friendly arm over his partner's shoulder. He knew Danny was comfortable in his sexuality, certainly more comfortable than anyone Nicholas ever met, anywhere (including himself), so he did not think this had a damn thing to do with second thoughts about him. Or Liz, for that matter. In fact, Nicholas wracked his brain but could not think of any reason that Danny would react like this.
"I can't tell you, Nicky." Danny looked down, his arms hanging listlessly over his knees, staring at the floor.
"I'm afraid you must."
"No! No. No." Danny shook his head.
"Danny, I demand that you tell me what is bothering you."
"Wha'…is that like an order?" Danny raised his eyes, a trace of hope on his face.
"Absolutely just like an order, yes. Tell me."
What Danny told him sent Nicholas from the far reaches of stunned amazement to the hells of fury. His first thought about being seen was that they were "discovered," but it occurred to him that everyone knew about his affection for Danny anyway. His second thought was that he would never be able to look Andy Cartwright in the eyes again. His third thought was that he was going to rip the bastard limb from limb for trying to force himself on Danny.
"But I pushed him off, Nicky, okay? So y'don going to do anything to him, right?" Danny looked critically at Nicolas, apparently relieved to have the whole issue out in the open, but also apparently reading Nicholas' mind.
"Danny, has Constable Cartwright ever touched you before?"
Danny was innocently confused by the question. "No."
"Good."
"Nicholas…" Danny was not convinced of Nicholas' intentions, although at this point Nicholas was not even sure what his intentions were. However it occurred to him that now, he needed to do something to relieve his stress.
Danny was happy to help.
He stopped talking to Andrew around the house. They shared a decent flat with three bedrooms and a large fridge. Each man had his own room, and the third bedroom was set up with their TV, Playstation and DVD collection. It afforded each the chance watch porn in private, something they established early on in their friendship as a very important issue, especially since Andrew did not like the bondage stuff that Andy collected. Right now, though, just the thought of it burned his brain cells.
It was not difficult to build a minor argument with Andrew into a huge fight, and in doing so, give him reason to stay out of the way. One person he really, really did not want to even think about right now was Andrew.
When Andy got home at night he curled into his bed and prayed for sleep. He did not dream of anything and that was exactly what he wanted, because all day every day all he could think about was sex. Sex with…no, he was not thinking that. He beat his head with his fists, telling himself that he, Andy Cartwright, was NOT gay. NOT.
Nicholas watched Cartwright carefully for days. Danny's pleas of mercy (and certain other ministrations) calmed down his anger about the situation to the point that he was more reflective about it, and now he just watched Cartwright. And waited.
It was hard not to see that the man was in trouble. The Andes were barely on speaking terms, and Doris was avoiding both of them like the plague. They were just as crass and rude as ever, but now, there was a tinge of malevolence in Cartwright's tone that Wainwright picked up on. When they were together, they were feeding off the worst energies of each other, and the entire department was their whipping post. Walker looked oblivious, of course, but Saxon took to sleeping under Walker's desk instead of next to it. Tony appeared to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and Danny never in his life requested beat duty more often than he did that week.
Nicholas studied people; he believed it was part of what made him a good cop. His study of Andy Cartwright suggested that the man was not sleeping much, definitely drinking too much, and heading towards some kind of self destruction that, if unchecked, might possibly take down more than a few of them, Wainwright if no one else. Clinically, Nicholas began to suspect that Cartwright might even be attracted to Wainwright and was only now realizing it. This was something that was going to explode.
And Nicholas really, honestly, had no clue how to stop it.
"Just stumped, Danny. I have no idea."
They sat at Nicholas' dining table in the front room. They usually did not sit there for any reason, and Danny wondered why people bothered with such things when the front room so obviously could use a 48" telly. But he focused instead on Nicholas, who was in full "inspector" mode, trying to analyze and solve the problem that was Andy Cartwright. For nearly two weeks they watched while the man melted down, and now Nicholas decided that it was time for something to be done. So, he sat Danny down and asked him, and Danny shrugged, and Nicholas finally admitted that he had no idea, either.
"Just needs a good shagging, I 'xpect." Danny tapped the table with his fingers. It seemed rather obvious to him, but he understood that Nicholas was a bit slow about things like this. He certainly had been with Danny. It took Danny months to…
"With who?" Nicholas voice was raised in disbelief, breaking Danny's reverie.
"Well now that's the question, in'nit?" Danny leaned over, his hands clasped on the table, trying to muster some analytical skills to the problem.
Nicholas looked at him in amazement. "It's not like I can just assign someone to do it, Danny!"
"Nooo, I suppose not. Hm. How about…"
"No! Danny!" Nicholas ran his hands over his head. "No, I think maybe I just need to talk to the man. As a superior officer, seeing a problem, offering to help." He looked over at Danny, his unhappiness with this particular solution clear in his eyes.
Danny was not very convinced either, but it was apparent that Nicholas was not listening to his suggestions. He gave him a serious look. "You won' go and break his legs?"
"No, Danny, I won't. Promise."
He decided not to have the meeting in his office: too intimidating. He thought about the pub: too public. His house? Absolutely not. In the end, he decided to take it to the locker room. If Andy went insane, at least nothing valuable would be broken, and Nicholas could bash his head in with a bench or something.
It was a very short list of things that Nicholas looked forward to less than this.
He naturally was not going to mention anything that Danny told him. His goal was to keep this above board and only semi-official. More like a verbal warning from a concerned superior officer. That was his goal. He also knew he needed a witness. Last thing he wanted was for them to start fighting with no one around to vouch for what happened – that could end both of their careers. Unfortunately, the only viable choice for a witness was Danny, because if certain topics came up despite his best efforts, there would be no explaining them to someone like Tony or the Turners or god forbid Walker.
Nonetheless, he told Danny before it began that if Andy decided to start hitting, that he was to stay out of it. He was not as concerned with Danny's safety as with Andy's, to be honest: he thought that if Andy believed two of them were fighting him, he might go ballistic to the point of hurting himself. Nicholas was not very emotionally sensitive, and he knew that about himself, but only a dead person could be oblivious to the psychological angst Andy was putting out. His sole priority was to keep Andy from getting hurt, physically or mentally.
But this could go wrong in about 500 different ways, and part of Nicholas suspected that it did not matter how much he prepared or rehearsed for this discussion, Andy was going to get out of control.
Angel's invitation to "talk" was formal and official. Word spread through the office that something was going on – Andy suspected Danny of dropping obvious hints to Doris, as if that were anything new. He wondered for a panicked moment if Danny spilled the story to Angel, but decided that there was no way that ever happened. This was mostly about him, Andy, being an insufferable wanker for the last week or so. He knew it. He figured he'd have to apologize and lick Angel's damn boots or something. When quitting time came and everyone else left, Andrew going to far as to try and kick him as he went out the door, Andy took a deep breath and headed for the locker rooms. A damned fucked up place for a meeting, but still, at least it was not in Angel's office.
He walked in and found both Danny and Angel there, talking quietly, Angel sans vest but still in uniform and leaning against the lockers. Danny was already changed into his civvies and sat on one of the benches. They looked up when he came in.
"What the fuck is he doing here?" Andy motioned at Danny.
"He's a witness, Constable. That way we cannot accuse each other of saying anything we did not say."
Andy shrugged and stood in the middle of the room, crossing his arms. Danny beat a hasty retreat to the far end of the room, leaving him to Angel's mercy. He rolled his head to look up at the ceiling and brace himself for the rebuke that was coming.
"I think you know why you're here."
Andy tried not to cringe at the sound of Angel's condescending tone. He had, for a while now, managed to get along with Angel fairly well, but that did not change the fact that the man had a stick up his ass.
"People been complainin', have they?"
"Not so much, no. But don't think I can't see what is going on out there. You and Wainwright are at each other's throats and you are acting like an ass to everyone in the department."
"Is 'acting like an ass' an official rebuke, Inspector?"
"Not yet." Angel stood up straight, moving away from the lockers, and crossed his arms as well. "You need to get a grip, Constable, because you damn sure don't have one right now."
"And what the fuck-all would you know about that?"
Nicholas ran a hand over his mouth and refused to look at him. I might just be the gesture of a man deep in thought, but Andy knew better. He knew that Angel knew.
He barely saw Andy lunge. Andy was not graceful but he was fast and they slammed into the lockers with a crash. Nicholas' mind flashed on the hope that Danny was, as promised, staying out of this, because it was going to be nasty.
Andy was throwing punches and Nicholas was taking them, for the moment. He reached out to wrestle him down and they both fell to the floor, Nicholas clocking his elbow on one of the benches. He curled up his legs and used his knees to throw Andy off of him. They both rolled up and Nicholas waited for Andy, who came into him blazing with fury. Again they slammed into the lockers, onto the floor, and rolled up. Nicholas realized this could go on all night if he let it.
Instead, he stepped aside when Andy lunged, grabbed him, and pulled him backwards so that Andy fell over a bench and landed on his ass. The surprise shook him off his game for a hair's breadth of a second, but it was all Nicholas needed. He grabbed one of Andy's arms, twisted it, and nearly fell on him as he felt Andy's spark of resistance flare up. Nicholas knew he had a painful hold on Andy, though, and a potentially damaging one if Andy was stupid enough to struggle. He was just that stupid, for a second or two, before the pain in his shoulder made him stop. He banged his head against the floor alarmingly.
Nicholas re-arranged himself so that he was lying almost flat on top of Andy. This struck him as incredibly ironic, given the matters at hand with Andy, and he nearly laughed. Andy, looking at him with genuine hatred, twitched.
"Fuckin' funny, is it?"
"No, Andy, no it is not. But I'm worried that if I let up, you'll just go for me again."
"I would." Andy snarled.
"Fine. We stay here." Nicholas twisted the arm just a bit, sure it was sending a stab of pain down the man's nerves.
"Get the fuck off."
"No, Andy. Not until you give me your word you will not try this stupid trick again."
"No."
And it was with that word and that look that Nicholas realized what was going on.
He felt Angel on him, pressing down, holding his arm in an unbelievably painful position. His other hand was clutching Angel's shirt, but no amount of pulling or tugging was going to get the man to move. He banged his head on the floor while Nicholas settled himself and Andy thought that this was going to be a very long night, with Angel on top of him.
It was a thought that sent a chill down his spine and in horror Andy realized he was getting excited. In that way.
Not here, not now…he pleaded with himself, panicking. But it was the combination of Angel lying on him and the pain shooting through his arm that weakened him, and made him think about pulling his legs up and apart, just a little, while he was being so tightly held…
He answered Nicholas' questions with as much hostility as he could spit out. But he betrayed himself: the last word, the last "no," had him looking directly into Angel's eyes and he knew what Angel saw in his. He knew he could not hide the fact that he was turned on. He was on his back, underneath a strong, very strong man, who at this moment held him at his complete and utter mercy. It was the best bondage video money could buy.
He closed his eyes, but he knew it was too late. Too fucking late. He went to bang his head on the floor again but as he lifted his head up in preparation of slamming it down, he discovered that he was kissing Angel. Or Angel was kissing him. Instinct took over and Andy was completely and utterly undone, reaching out for the taste of a kiss he never in his entire life imagined, or imagined tasted so damn good. He felt his hard on press against his pants, and in the next horrifying fraction of a second, Angel's hard on against his thigh.
This. Was. Excellent. It was a fabulous fight, really just crackin' balls-on furious action, and while he saw that Nicholas held the upper hand the whole time, Andy really did a damn good job of trying to take him down. The only thing missing was the popcorn.
Then suddenly Nicky pinned Andy hard on the ground and now they were kissing.
Danny was uncertain of who started it. He saw Andy raise up his head with his eyes closed, so he could not have seen Nicky lean over into him, but whatever the case, the lip lock went down beautifully. Danny was aware of the fact that any normal bloke should be jealous in this situation. After all, Nicky was his, or something like that. Still, it was his suggestion all along that someone shag Andy, and if Nicky was finally going to take the lead on these matters, Danny was not about to interfere.
Nicholas felt the shift in Andy under him in the way a person might feel a landslide. Andy simply collapsed into the kiss, unwilling and likely unable to fight himself any longer. There was no grinding, and very little passion, and Andy's free hand never release its grip on Angel's shirt. But the kiss did not stop for a long time.
Finally Nicholas gently released the pinned arm he had been holding, certain that all blood circulation stopped by that point. He shifted so that he straddled Andy's legs, and then sat back on his heels, poised just over Andy's thighs. He was taken aback at seeing the delighted grin on Danny's face across the room, but realized that right now was not a time to address it. He looked down at Andy.
The man was staring at him with a hazardous mixture of relief, fear, anger, and shame. After a second, he looked off to the side, just gazing at the wall of lockers, not saying anything. At this point, Nicholas reached the limits of his brilliant ideas. He tried to think back to the first time he and Danny kissed in any meaningful way, and what Danny said in the face of Nicholas' own tumultuous feelings, but "yippie kai yay" did not seem appropriate to this situation at all. His own hard on was bothering him a bit, but instinct told him that violating Andy in any way, no matter how sexy, was not the best approach at this time.
"Y'gonna fuckin' let me up?" Andy said, his gaze locked firmly in place towards the wall.
"No, I'm not." Nicholas crossed his arms and relaxed his feet, so that his full weight was resting on Andy's thighs. Andy did not buck or try to get away, just laid there, massaging his sore arm, staring anywhere but at Nicholas.
Finally Nicholas did remember something helpful from his first experiences with Danny: that despite his worries about his sexuality and his concerns about being discovered and his mind-ripping denial of his attraction to another man, he had not been able to say no to being seduced.
He leaned forward and ran his hands gently up Andys thighs, over his hips, and across his chest. He heard Andy suck in a huge amount of air and not let it out, and finally looked at Nicholas.
"Having fun, fag?"
Nicholas twitched at that, but he heard Danny laughing in the background.
"Shut it, you wanker. Not like you're fighting him off now." Danny teased from across the room, and Nicholas felt Andy's legs starting to rebel. Instinctively he dropped forward and grabbed both of Andy's arms and threw them up over Andy's head, pinning them to the floor, and at the same time hooked his feet over his knees to keep them immobilized. It was not the most secure or stable of positions for him, but Nicholas understood by now that Andy's fight was mostly gone. His head was down by Andy's, and he felt his breath heavy on his shoulder. Nicholas' second brilliant realization that day was that not all seductions are the same.
"Danny." He ordered it, and Danny was there instantly.
"Fuck not…"
"Shut up, Andy." Nicholas growled, finally warming up to this whole bizarre and utterly-and-completely-against-regulations situation. He looked up at Danny, and motioned for him to get down on the floor. "Hold his arms."
"Oh fuck NOT!" Andy was suddenly back on, trying to buck Nicholas off, but Danny moved surprisingly fast and threw all of his weight into grabbing and holding Andy's arms. Nicholas' mind was racing, trying to stay ahead of himself, but one fact registered very clearly: Danny was having the time of his life, holding Andy down.
And in fact it was obvious that Andy was not very traumatized by it. He fought the restraining force of the two men only half-heartedly, and really, Nicholas thought with amusement, how mad can a man with a raging hard on be?
"Stop." He looked directly at Andy and pointed at his face. Andy gave him a dirty look but did, indeed, stop squirming.
"What the fuck you fags going to do? Should I yell 'rape'?" His voice was very ragged, and Nicholas heard genuine fear there.
Andy's shock at Angel's hit was complete. He was burned raw emotionally and thought he was going to blow himself up with the tension he felt, but Angel's blow solved that. He was aware of the fact that Angel held back, only using a portion of his strength in the slap, but it was still powerful and grounding. His skin stung and his eyes were a bit hazed, but his body felt like it was uncoiling from a deadly grip.
Andy dreamed of things like this; Andy joked with him about his porn collection, telling him he just needed a "dog" to kick around. Andy laughed with him and made similar jokes and never, ever admitted that in his mind, in his fantasies, he was the dog getting kicked. Andy knew he was a slut and enjoyed it but he never seriously considered going down that other road: perverts and queers did that sort of thing. No way a real man would lie still and let someone beat the crap out of him, no way.
Unless it was not like that. Unless…it was more like his wet dreams, when he knew he could give up control and not worry about consequences and just let all the shame and guilt and fear slip away under the strong hands of a man who knew how to beat him senseless.
Nicholas paused to watch and gauge Andy's reaction. He was not someone who did this often; certainly, it was never Janine's thing and he could not bear to think of laying a hand on Danny that way…although Liz, now, she might…he shook his head to clear those thoughts out. Not now, he told himself. Now, he was in the middle of some kind of psychological crisis with a man who was definitely, completely and wholeheartedly a bottom in a way that Nicholas could just barely fathom, and in a way that even Andy probably was not aware of nor willing to accept easily. Nicholas decided right then that it was his job – and that is how he thought of the situation, as a job that needed to be done according to some sort of standards –to put Andy back together, even if that meant pulling him apart by the seams.
He squeezed his knees against Andy's torso to brace both of them and with his other hand hit Andy on the opposite side of his face. He looked up to check Danny's hold on Andy's arms and looked right into eyes burning with a dark, rarely revealed passion. In that brief moment, Nicholas decided that later, he was going to have to re-assess his thoughts about Danny.
Meanwhile…he hauled off and slapped Andy again. Third time's the charm, he thought as he heard and saw the explosive gasp of pain and pleasure that shook through Andy's body, a release of emotions that even Nicholas could tell was cataclysmic. Under him, he felt Andy's erection pressing up against all odds.
"Danny." Nicholas just pointed at Andy. Danny moved to cross Andy's wrists and hold them with one hand, and leaned forward to push down on his chest with the other. In this position, Danny's crotch was nearly right over Andy's head. Nicholas paused, waiting for Andy to react to that, but he did not move. He just laid there with the two men pressing on different parts of his body. Shrugging, Nicholas went to work stripping him down to skin. He thought getting the pants off might be tricky, but again, Andy laid limp as rag, finally closing his eyes and breathing evenly. It was the shirt that proved an issue.
Nicholas pulled up the polo in the starting move to slip it off Andy but as soon as Danny leaned back and went to re-arrange Andy's hands, Andy curled up and made to punch Nicholas in the gut. Nicholas grabbed his hand in mid strike, pulled him self up on his knees and slammed a fist into Andy's head. As Andy fell back, his expression dazed, Nicholas backhanded him right into Danny's arms.
"Okay, Danny?"
"Yeah, Nicky. Just fine!" Danny grinned.
Andy was somewhere else, not hearing them. Nicholas smiled, then saw that one of them had bled on his shirt. He took a moment to take off the uniform shirt and undershirt, which felt good in any case. He glanced up at Danny.
"Would you like to feel that?" He pointed at Andy's naked torso, and Danny gave him a confused look. Nicholas leaned forward and kissed Danny, which mashed Andy's face into his own chest. As he kissed Danny, which was a spur of the moment idea, he felt Andy turn slightly, moving his head, and suddenly Nicholas gasped and was pushing himself into both men as Danny kissed him fiercely and Andy sucked on his nipple. He reached behind Andy and somehow, fighting against the pressure the three of them had on each other, to unbutton Danny's shirt so that Andy's body was lying against Danny's bare chest.
Nicholas finally pulled back and saw Andy lean his head back against Danny, his eyes closed. Smiling, Danny kissed him on the forehead as if he were petting a puppy and Nicholas actually giggled. He caught himself and tried to think of what to do next. The problem with being a top, he reasoned, was that everyone always expected you to know where the whole thing was going. Nicholas was not too proud to admit, to himself anyway, that he knew no such thing.
Andy was not outside of himself, but he was drifting there and back enough to make it a place he longed to be. He needed something more to get to it, though, and when Angel went to strip him down he took it. The first hard blow from Angel's fist nearly knocked him out, but it was the backhanded bitch slap, a bit of unnecessary humiliation that was thrown at him well after he was defeated, that finally let him slide down into sensual oblivion as he felt warm skin all around him and the smell of men in passion. For the first time in his life, he was utterly gone, and it was beautiful.
Nicholas realized that Andy was completely done in, mentally. He had caved and was now just a body in heat, a man broken to the whims of another man. Upon reflection, Nicholas thought that this was a bad moment to play with. Bring him out of it wrong, and Andy would kill…himself, or them, or just damn near anyone. Nicholas' clinical mind understood that what was needed now was some form of positive reinforcement, and he really knew of no better way to make a man feel positive about himself than to get him off. He shrugged again and scooted back.
He was not about to go oral. He did not do that, to Danny or to Liz, and sure as hell was not going to start now with Andy. Instead he wet down his hand with spit and grabbed Andy's cock. Shock ran through the man's body and Danny held him down as his back arched up. Nicholas was desperately trying to think of a way to make this more than just a hand job – effective, perhaps, but not fitting to the situation – when he finally just got mad at the absurdity of it all. This whole situation was out of control and he was sitting here jerking off another man, a man he was not even attracted to, in the god-damn locker room, when he was supposed to be in a committed relationship with Danny and Liz, and this had to be so against regulations that they all would be tarred and feathered in the streets of London if anyone found out. He stopped.
Andy moaned.
"No. You've had enough." Nicholas rolled off to the side and sat down.
"Y'can't just leave him, Nicky." Danny tightened his grip.
"Yes, I can. This is out of control. Let go of him, Danny." Nicholas went to stand up, walk away from this, change clothes and take Danny home for some seriously adventurous hard core action with someone he genuinely cared about.
"Nicholas…" Danny's voice was low, and he never used Nicholas' full given name unless something was wrong. Nicholas looked up to see Andy just barely struggling. Instinctively, without thinking, he reached out and backhanded him again. Danny gasped but Nicholas ignored him for once.
"You sonofabitch, don't start fighting now. We've beat you, and we'll beat you again if we have to. You lost. Can't you figure that out, you stupid bastard?" Nicholas was working very hard at not yelling. "I don't give a damn about your mental issues, or if you're a pervert, or if your fucking Wainwright, okay? Get over it!" Nicholas felt his control breaking as he threw another backhand across Andy's face. Stilled, Andy stared back at him, tears in his eyes, angry and scared.
"Nick…stop." Danny looked at him, stern and loving and worried. Nicholas sat back and rubbed his face, disappointed in himself.
"Right, Danny."
"No."
Danny and Nicholas stared at Andy when he spoke, almost surprised that he had a voice.
"Andy, I really don't want to be here." Nicholas said simply.
It was not that Angel stopped the hand job, it was the look Angel gave him right before he did. It was full hatred, disdain, and revulsion. It was that look that crushed Andy, that made him actually want Angel, and more so, made him want Angel to want him. If he ever felt that way about any man, he did not know it. And he knew it was not particularly Angel, either; this was not about love. That part of Andy was…somewhere else. This was simply about knowing that a man, a man he respected for all of the verbal abuse Andy aimed at him, wanted him. That a man with hands like that, arms so strong as to hold him down against his will, would be willing to take him completely, to take him where ever he wanted to go without asking Andy first. That a man might take that kind of risk for his sake was a chance Andy realized he was willing to do anything for.
"Please."
"I told you, I don't want to be here."
"Fuck!..." Andy cried out in frustration, struggling, glad that Danny was not about to let go of him. Andy was not even sure of what he was asking for, though: more slaps? The hand job? To get fucked in the ass? Not that last, he decided, but still, he needed Angel somehow. He just did not know how. Until he said it.
"I'm begging, you bastard. I'm begging you….don't leave me."
Angel looked at him in surprise and Andy felt the admission rip part of his soul away as he just started crying.
Danny's own surprise at hearing those words were mirrored in Nicky's face. They looked at each other and something in Nicky's expression told Danny this was not over yet, as he felt Andy wracking himself breathless, sobbing. Nicky got down on one knee and took Andy's wet face in his hands and kissed him full on the lips, and Danny thought he was going to groan with pleasure. He enjoyed watching Nicholas kissing, and this was first class Nicky action. They kept kissing as Nicky reached a hand down and rubbed Andy's cock – Danny was rather surprised at the size of it, thinking that Andy had a way of keeping it well hidden in his pants…not that Danny ever looked. Finally Nicky pulled back from the kiss, returned to his position straddling Andy's thighs, and used both of his hands to push and pull on Andy.
"Look at him." Danny whispered into Andy's ear. Personally, Danny could not imagine a more beautiful site than Nicky half naked and rubbing on a cock, and he thought that Andy should have sense enough to enjoy it too. Andy started a little, glancing around at Danny, but then did as he was told. Danny liked that. Nicky had a habit of never doing what he was told; it was nice that someone did.
Danny leaned forward again and started kissing Andy's ear. His crush on Andy had ended years before and in silence, but now he remembered what he liked about him. He ran his tongue over and into his ear, enjoying the low moans of pleasure that were starting to come from him. Danny noticed, though, that Andy kept glancing nervously away from Nicky, who was as usual entirely too focused on what he was doing to see what was being done.
"Stop squirming," Danny said, and Andy stopped. Danny was liking this more and more. "Put your feet on t'floor." Andy bent his legs slightly and placed his feet flat on the floor. "Push into his hands." Again, Andy did exactly what he was told, rolling his hips to move himself deeply into Nicky's grasp. This was control of a sort Danny rarely held; he remembered feeling this way when The Shootout started, and Nicky first threw him that shotgun: Power. Danny knew it was not the same type of situation at all but he felt the rush, the testosterone fueled, brain addling power trip, and he was going to ride it.
"Y'fuckin' loving this, you know." Danny whispered, smiling, and Andy nodded. Danny tightened his grip and took the plunge. "And you'll love it more when I come on you."
Twitch.
Danny laughed, and finally Nicky looked up at him. Danny shook his head and Nicky was back to his task. He knew Nicky was good at this and enjoyed it, despite repeated protests, and that Andy would not hold out for much longer; he was sweating, and panting, and bucking. "I'll come on you, and Nicky is going to come in you, and you better take it like a real man, Andy."
Those words seemed to do something and Andy groaned and pushed against Nicky and gasped. Danny leaned back into his ear. "And when you come, mutherfuckerrrrr, you're going to say his name."
Andy gasped, wound himself up in Danny's crushing grip, and did exactly what he was told.
Nicholas looked around for his shirt to wipe his hands on while Andy collapsed, breathless, under him. He was very surprised that Andy called out his name, not "Angel" even but "Nicholas," at the moment of his climax. In fact Nicholas was expecting another name entirely, and he found it a bit erotic that Andy said his instead. Nice, even. Certainly sexy.
He motioned for Danny to move back and they stretched Andy on the ground, moving his arms up above his head again while Nicholas moved to perch on his stomach. He looked at Danny who was flushed and highly…amused?
"I don't think we're done, Nicky." Danny grinned.
"You feel like something, Danny?" Nicholas laughed and pressed himself down against Andy's torso, sitting on his stomach, his hands on a lock grip on his upper arms, bolting them to the ground.
"Fuck yeah." Danny said as he lifted one hand off of Andy's arms, knowing that Nicholas had the situation under control. He undid his pants and pulled out his cock, and started pumping it. Hard. His other hand finally left off holding down Andy as he moved it to one side to prop himself up.
Andy, drenched in sweat and dazed, looked up at Nicholas, some odd flash of understanding in his eyes that Nicholas did not fathom. Danny leaned forward and kissed Nicholas, passionately, as Andy lay under them. Nicholas could feel Danny's frantic motions as he worked himself up, which under the circumstances did not take long. The kiss ended with Danny gasping and grunting in a way that Nicholas did not find familiar; it was a strangled cry and his face was flushed red in heat and when he came he was unusually loud. He pumped his hand against himself to the point that Nicholas knew there would be some tenderness there for days; he finished by pushing his head into Nicholas' shoulder, still yelling. Nicholas felt Andy react underneath him as Danny's liquid covered his face and neck.
"God…god…god…" It was Andy. Danny fell backwards, not even bothering to put himself back together, just sitting back, propping himself up with his arms, his head up as he gasped for breath. "Damn…fuck…" Andy's head was swinging back and forth and he was utterly incoherent and Nicholas wondered for a terrible second if they had gone too far. He released Andy's arms but Andy did not bring them back down.
"Andy?" Nicholas asked hesitantly.
Andy took a huge, shuddering breath, pulled his arms up and grabbed Nicholas' shoulders, pulling him down into what was a sticky, warm, and slippery kiss. It was not something that did much for Nicholas, but he figured what the hell, it was too late now to get finicky. He lowered himself down to where he started, lying on top of Andy, and rested his hands on his chest, feeling the hard pounding of Andy's heart. It was time for…something. He blanked.
He felt Andy slowly getting another hard on against his own, and Nicholas was keenly aware that he was the only one who had not come yet. He was so busy trying to keep the situation from going to hell in a hand basket that he had not thought it was something he was going to get to do until later, alone, with Danny. Now, however, he was having second thoughts about that plan. He moved his hips against Andy as they continued to kiss – he gave him that, the man was a marathoner – and pushed his erection into the flesh of Andy's groin. His pants were still on but he was shirtless and he rubbed his bare chest against Andy, feeling the soft fur of the man and his hot, dripping wet skin. Nicholas was surprised that Andy could even control his arms after their extended entrapment, but he did, wrapping them around his back. They were both absolutely covered in sweat and Nicholas suspected they felt more like eels at that point than men. He grunted in surprise when one of Andy's hands drifted below his lower back and under his pants towards his ass, and he pushed himself harder against him.
He was even more surprised when he felt Andy pull up, still locked in their kiss, and move to push Nicholas onto his back. They rolled together, never breaking their lips, and Andy finally got on top. Nicholas flashed on a very disturbing idea for just a second, until he felt Andy's lips move from his and float down his neck. He let go of Andy and pushed himself up on his elbows. He watched critically as Andy moved down his chest. It felt marvelous, those soft lips and that somewhat ticklish moustache, but he was worried. This was moving towards something he was fairly certain Andy was not ready for. He glanced over to Danny, who looked absolutely thrilled, which Nicholas did not think was very helpful.
"Andy…" Nicholas said it simply, not as a question or a request or plea, just an attempt bring Andy back from where ever he was. It was a beautiful place, Nicholas admitted, watching the younger man's naked, shining body move against his.
Andy stopped cold at the sound of his name. He did not move, and did not look up at Nicholas, just froze, staring at Nick's stomach and breathing heavily. Nicholas' squinted for a second and then realized that it was not over for Andy. Andy needed proof of some kind, and he did not have the strength to do it himself. Nicholas sighed, considering for a moment that he really appreciated Danny's more laid back approach to this whole thing, and wondering as well if he had been as much a hassle to Danny way back when as Andy was being to him now.
He grabbed a handful of Andy's hair and did his best attempt at a manly growl, pushing him down. "Lower."
He used his other hand to undo his pants and slide his cock out. His arousal was and had been incredibly intense for some time, and his member was thick and swollen. He went back to propping himself up on one elbow and used Andy's hair to steer him. He felt Andy shudder a bit and maybe even reconsider but Nicholas, slowly and surely reaching to point of not caring anymore, just yanked Andy's head and pushed his face against his cock. At that point, feeling the flush of Andy's skin against him, he realized that he wanted nothing more in the world than to have his cock in someone's mouth, and fuckit, Andy was damned convenient right now. Andy was also stalling.
"You wanted to be here. You started this. By god, you're finishing it."
Andy paused, nodded, and didn't move. Suddenly Nicholas saw Danny in his frame of vision. He was back in his pants, although his shirt was still undone, and he walked up to them and planted his foot into the middle of Andy's back. Nicholas' eyes popped in surprise, and he was speechless, just looking up at Danny .
"I said do it," Danny ordered, leaning in heavily, and Nicholas thought it should be funny but it wasn't. His next thought was that it was very effective as Andy's mouth closed around his cock. It was not great sex for Nicholas, and it sure was not the loving attention that Danny gave him in these situations, but it was sincere and it was hot. Nicholas could not help but watch the entrapped Andy, with his head between his legs, his hands shifting as he tried to figure out what he was doing with them, his own body pushing up against Danny's foot. Soon it did not matter to Nicholas much anymore, as he felt his heat rising and he began pushing Andy's mouth further down on him. He felt his other arm slip out from under him and he laid back on the floor completely, and his hips moved against Andy's shoulders and he looked up, gasping, to see Danny grinning high above him, forcing Andy's body to the floor, watching, delighted and wicked like a naughty boy. That was more erotic to him than Andy's amateur attentions and he reached down to grasp Andy's head with both hands, to shove him down as he came, strangling his own voice and pushing himself into Andy as far as he could. His world was oblivion.
Andy laid flat, facing the floor, holding himself up on his elbows, gasping, his head hanging down and his gaze fixed squarely on the carpet. Angel nearly killed him with his damn cock and tears were streaming down his face from the stress and the tension and the release. He was aware of Nicholas pulling away and Danny helping him to stand, and of the two men kissing, and in his mind he screamed "fags!" until he thought about what he had just done.
He felt Danny shove him a bit with his foot, as if trying to roll him over, and heard Angel say sharply, "No, Danny. Leave him alone." It might humiliate a weaker man, Andy thought, but he was not that man, and being used like a tool was something only a real man could do and survive intact. He knew that; from experience, now, he knew that.
It was all okay though, even as he laid still and naked on the locker room floor and heard Angel and Danny finally clean up, get dressed and leave. Andy knew he would be alright, in fact fucking better than he ever was in his life before, and his greatest regret was that this revelation came from Angel and Danny, and not…no, he was not going to think about that right now. Later, he had a lot of thinking to do. And a lot of new porn to buy.
"You know that Liz can never find out about this," Nicholas said that evening, very formally, as they drank a couple of pints in a lonely corner of the pub.
Danny smiled and held up his glass. "'Eyyyy, Nicky…it's a guy thing."
Characters: Andy Cartwright, Danny Butterman, Nicholas Angel
Narrative mode: third-limited