No additional warnings for this scene.
“The last editor was horribly murdered by a rampaging homicidal neighborhood watch alliance?” Geo read off the paper.
Liz squinted in distaste.
“And then they all got rounded up by some renegade Met cop! That’ crazy, Liz! Anyway he sounds like a damn fascist in this interview…” Geo smiled scornfully, but Liz shook her head.
“I believe this is due to bad luck.”
“It’s not luck when you are the one who arranged everything. Jump off this sinking ship, okay?”
“The ship done sunk, Geo. We arranged that, right?”
“Stop it. Sometimes you got to do dirty work. I tol’ you that. Now you runnin’ like a scared little girl.”
“Just trying to start over. I think you know how that feels.”
“By movin’ to nowhere full of ‘omocidal maniacs? Did I not jus’ say the last editor was bru-tal-ly murdered? Eh? That’s bad luck, right there that is. Dat ship is sinking.”
“They changed the name of the paper and everything. Not even like the same ship.” Liz was really just talking to herself while she inspected the tip of her pen carefully.
“Liz, why did you put in for that job?”
“I don’t really want it.”
“Sah don go!” Geo’s island accent always came out in force when she was getting upset.
“Tipsy, I just have to get out of here.”
“I’ve never met someone who loved the city so much she couldn’t stand it.”
“Love the city, but not the people.”
“Ah am ‘urt. My name not even Andrew.”
Liz snorted and rolled her eyes. They were seated at her favorite coffee shop in East London, a place owned by a Tunisian family who really knew their coffee. Her best friend, almost a sister, and more like the heterosexual life partner of her dreams, was sitting across from her, doing her version of begging. Geo was artistic and crazy and funny but very proud, and was not, absolutely not, going to ask Liz to stay. She was, however, going to spend the next five days grilling Liz on all the insane and invalid reasons she was moving to butt-fuck-nowhere Sandford, Glouchester in order to take over a sinking local newsrag for less money than she made as an intern in college.
“The competition here is insane. I’ll never get to write the stories I want.”
“You are the best damn writer I ever met. Your reporting makes grown men cry. You are immaculate in your research, and you live for nothing but the story. Who, exactly, is your competition, woman?”
“The entire staff of the London Times?”
“You mess th’ dahmn shit and cows.”
Liz shrugged. She was small town girl and could not deny that she really missed the green fields and stone cottages of country living, even if the fields came filled with manure and the cottages with no central heating. She imagined herself more along the lines of James Harriet than Robert Fisk anyway, and wanted to get back to her roots. Even if, technically, they were not her roots but someone else’s. That might be an interesting story too.
“Or you are just trying to get as far away from our Andrew as possible without leaving the country?” Geo sat back, clearly aggravated, a flush showing through her dark brown skin.
“He’s gone, remember? Nothing to get away from.” Liz frowned back at her.
“It’s done, Liz. You don’t got to move to the country to move on.”
“You’re one to talk. Look, it’s not just…that. I really am doing this for my career.”
“You keep running away, you ‘ave ever since. You keep doin’ that, and you’ll never settle down again. Bein’ a slut…it only keeps the bed warm.”
“My bed is the only thing that needs warming. I don’t need anything or anyone else.”
Geo raised her eyebrows.
“Except you. I’ll always need you.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t try to have sex with you, do I?”
Liz knitted her eyebrows. “It’s not all about sex.”
“Don’t play coy with me…we’ve talked about this before, Liz. You know what I’m gonna say.”
“Then please, please, please don’t say it.”
Geo nodded in defeat. Liz hated feeling vulnerable and she did every day in London. There was no way to be safe and she lived her life around her job, and Geo, and nearly-anonymous sex as a way to check out of real emotional intimacy with anyone. She did not think she needed it anyway – bad history, bad luck, and bad habits -- but Geo disapproved and told her so, and told her to start dating or at least quit work before nine at night or, at the very least, drink less. The idea of trusting a man, any man, scared her, though, and she opted for one night stands in preference to anything more emotionally binding, and she opted for celibacy to even that. She had a lot to forget and she did not, ever, want to cloud that drive with anything like love or sentiment. She left room for Geo, and that was all.
They sat in silence for a second, then Geo raised her deadly deep brown eyes up and grinned evilly.
“Tannnnnndori.” Geo she said, waggling her eyebrows. Liz could almost smell the Indian food just through the look in Geo’s eyes.
“I’ll visit! Okay? I’ll visit!”
Geo slurped her coffee unhappily, grunting. “Good. I hate sleeping alone.”
“You never sleep alone!” Liz squealed, laughing.
“That’s with th’men. They always hit on me in bed, the horny bastahrds.”
Liz shrugged, understanding. “Cuddles.”
“Yeah, I will miss my Cuddles.” Geo smiled, and finally, Liz felt regret.
Sandford was pretty and Liz’s flat faced out over the village square. Her morning runs were through back alleys and village streets that glowed with the patina of age and tender care. There were some odd pockmarks in the village square’s fountain, which several locals took pains to inform her were from the Big Shootout last year. She found it interesting since she read about it at the time, but not interesting enough to delve any deeper. She had serious problems to face before sightseeing could begin.
Her time was spent cleaning up the newspaper’s office. It was two rooms, counting the bathroom, a Mac G5, a hot plate, and approximately five tons of disorganized paperwork. The person who filled in as acting editor over the last few months barely stayed long enough to give her a few passwords, the phone number of the printer, and the keys. Liz realized that she was very, very behind the Times. The publisher was a large house out of Edinburg, and this was just one of their many small properties kept afloat through advertising revenue and tax write-offs. She was hired less because of her reporting skills or editing talents than because she knew how to format for off-set printing. It was a one person office and HQ meant to keep it that way. She was on her own, and if there was a blessing to all this, that was it. She was alone, all the time, and for the first time in a long time, she felt safe.
“Hello?” Someone knocked on the door while opening it at the same time. He looked in, and Liz nearly dropped all the papers she was holding. He was not tall, dark, and handsome, but rugged, compact and very tightly wound, with a short crop of blond hair. A cop. She gasped and looked around for Geo, who was not there, and wondered if he was from the Met because he really did not look local, although he was in some fierce way quite gorgeous. Then she kicked herself.
“Ow! Bugger!” She cried out in pain, dropping the papers and reaching out to steady herself. He leapt over the desk without even thinking about it and grabbed her around the waist, gently setting her into the office’s only chair. She could not determine if she was breathless from the pain, or from his proximity.
“Are you alright?” He asked severely, and she mentally chided him for his poor bedside manners. Still, he was leaning in very close.
“Fine, fine. Tripped and kicked my own leg.” She reached forward to rub her leg and knocked her forehead into his chin. She cried out in pain again and he stood up, stifling a mild yelp.
He rubbed his chin for a second, stepped backwards carefully, and looked down at her. “Inspector Nicholas Angel, chief of the Sandford Police Service.” He rubbed a little harder for a second, then lowered his hand and moved his jaw around, testing. She just kept rubbing her leg and her forehead, waiting for the other shoe to drop. “I know you’ve been in town for several days but I thought you needed time…to…settle in…” The last few words were said as he looked around at the chaos of the office.
As he spoke Liz realized that he had to be the fascist Met cop Geo disapproved of, and he was making a very poorly handled social call, and that was the extent of the drama here. She laughed.
“Something is funny?” He glared at her, rubbing his chin again. She thought that he definitely needed a sense of humor transplant. Or a lot of alcohol, which she would be happy to oblige.
“Oi, Inspector. Not at all.” And then she started laughing until she cried.
“She like old Tim then?” Danny asked as everyone sat around eating ice cream. Nicholas finally caught the Andes breaking the ban on smoking in the office (a new rule that everyone but the Andes approved of) and made them buy the ice cream that week, which was a first for the Andes. For everyone else, it was just desserts.
Nicholas thought for a moment, his spoon raised halfway to his mouth. He knew Danny had an oral fixation and it was his tiny way of torturing him while also gathering his thoughts for an answer. Finally, when he saw sweat starting to form on Danny’s upper lip: “Not at all. Tim was innocent and not very intelligent. Ms. Liz King is just…insane.”
Doris laughed, and Tony squinted in amusement. Walker might have said something – Nicholas was never very certain, with him – and the Andes guffawed. Only Danny looked perplexed.
“But she’s a re-port-er.” He said, as if that was reason enough to assume her superiority.
“As was Tim.” Nicholas shrugged and ate his ice cream, noticing that Danny was not watching him carefully after all.
“Awww, Tim was Tim, eh?” Danny could never bring himself to be in too much awe of someone he went to school with, even if they were hideously murdered. “But she’s from London! Like you!”
This time the general laughter was a bit stifled. Nicholas knew that his relationship with Danny was the worst kept secret in the entire village, but he did like to keep up appearances, so he glared forcefully at everyone in turn. The silence that followed was very chilly. Except, of course, from the Andes.
“Oooo London! Must be perfect then! Is she blond too?” Andy cooed.
“She is brunette. And she is…very healthy.”
“Fat.” Doris smirked.
“No, I wouldn’t, er, say that.” Nicholas raised his eyebrows and delved back into the ice cream, avoiding Danny.
The Andes both perked up. “Stacked, is she?” Wainwright tried to glare at Nicholas, but as always, overdid his DeNiro impersonation.
“If by stacked, you mean she is a well proportioned and very handsome woman, yes.” Nicholas glanced up at Danny, expecting…something. What he saw was not that something: instead it was a very interested Danny, eyebrows raised, ice cream forgotten. This was not quite what he anticipated.
Doris sniffed and walked off to the locker room. Walker returned to the newspaper and Tony shrugged.
“Can’t argue w’ bringing a ‘healthy’ woman into town,” Tony chirped, but as usual, no one was listening.
Nicholas had to admit that Liz King was definitely more than handsome. Janine was lithe and exquisite and possessed the most expressive eyes Nicholas had ever seen in his life, but she was not what he would have called sexy. ‘Sexy’ rarely figured into his choices, anyway. He never settled on a single type of woman physically, usually preferring the precisely-etched personalities that matched his own. Then Danny appeared in his life, and Nicholas, not ever considering himself gay, nonetheless thought that his days with women were over. He still thought so; as attractive as he found Liz King to look at, she was clearly demented. His visit to her office earlier in the day amounted to a comedy of errors inside a cubist paper mill, and he left shortly after she slid to floor in hysterical laughter.
“So she just…laughed?” Danny sat next to him on the couch in Danny’s apartment, because it was Tuesday. Nicholas was very strict about the schedule of which nights were spent where.
“Yes, like a madwoman. I could not get another word out of her.” Nicholas gazed at the television, where SuperCop was playing. Danny said he knew the script by heart, at least the English subtitles, so he turned the sound off earlier. Nicholas could not find a way to argue with him about the illogic of that decision.
“But just laughed, I mean?” Danny persisted, looking out towards the front windows.
“Yes just laughed!” Nicholas felt his temper flare. He was already tired of Liz King, and she only just arrived.
“Don’t seem crazy to me.” Danny shrugged, still looking out towards the windows and not at the movie. That annoyed Nicholas more than anything.
“Are we watching the movie?” He moved to turn it off.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m just thinkin’ about her laughin’, is all. You was prob’ly funny or somethin’.”
“I introduced myself.” Nicholas grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. Danny did not notice.
“Still, she can’t be crazy.”
“Well you can just visit her tomorrow yourself, then.” Nicholas marched out to the bedroom, as annoyed with Danny as he had been with Liz King, and regretting his advice. He was very certain that he did not want Danny to visit Liz King…but he could not think of a good reason why he would feel that way, or a good reason to stop Danny if he did visit the woman. Confused, Nicholas slammed himself into the bed and lay still with his arms crossed, wondering what in the hell Danny was doing in the living room with the TV off.
“’Elloo?” Danny peered around the corner of the door.
“Comin’!”
“Eh?”
“Come. In. Come in!”
Danny did as instructed and walked straight into a tall pile of paperwork, sending it crashing.
“Bloody…oh no, not more of you. How many are there, anyway?”
The woman was definitely ‘healthy’, as Nicholas put it. Danny did not mind thinking of her as outrageously sexy, in fact. He kept his bisexuality on the back burner with Nicholas, suspecting that he would be jealous of anyone Danny took a shine to, male or female. Danny was no stranger to midnight calls in the few relationships he had been in, but he did not do that to Nicholas and was not going to start now. He loved him and would rather die than give Nicholas any reason not to trust him. Still, this woman was built like an hourglass. Danny whistled in appreciation, then covered his mouth in horror.
“What?” Her voice was dead pan and icy, her gaze imperious. Danny wondered what she would look like if she laughed, and if she ever laughed at all, despite what Nicholas said.
“Just…very…mess…sorry?” Danny grasped at ideas but did not actually catch any of them.
“No really, how many of you are there?”
“’Scuse me?”
“The inspector yesterday, and those two detectives this morning. How many visits am I going to be blessed with?” She put her hands on those fine, healthy hips, and inspected the mess at Danny’s feet. He shuffled backwards.
“S’sorry. Need help?” He put out his hands in supplication, and she did a double take.
“Uh, sure. Detective…?”
“Nawwwww, not detective. Sergeant Danny Butterman!”
And then she smiled, and Danny caught the only idea that he actually liked. He blinked, confused with himself.
“Okay. Here. Pick up all these papers. Separate emails from faxes from clippings from…everything else. One pile for each.” She pointed, and Danny dropped to the ground without argument. Something about her tone almost made him think of Nicholas. She was not quite as cold in her instructions, but certainly as decisive. Danny loved a person with self-confidence; it was the part of Nicholas that turned him on the most. He grinned up at her as he took off his helmet.
“You’re a lot more…human than I’ve come to expect.” She said as she turned to another pile.
“What’ch’r mean?” Danny asked, looking at some papers.
“Your Inspector has quite a stick up his ass, doesn’t he?”
Danny nearly fell over laughing. “Yeahhhh.”
“And those two detectives…walking hard-ons. What is up with them?”
“The Andes? They’re just…the Andes.”
“Yeah well I hope someone has written them up for sexual misconduct. At least once.” The cold edge returned to her voice, and Danny panicked. He liked her better when she was smiling.
“They don’t mean nothing by it. They’re just blokes.”
“Incredibly horny and annoying blokes named Andrew.”
“Yeah.” Danny sighed.
“Sergeant Butterman?”
“Yeah?” His face brightened and he looked over to where she was kneeling on the floor in the middle of another stack of papers.
“You’re a fine chap. Thanks for helping.” She said it simply and sincerely, and Danny melted inside, which was the worst thing that could happen, and it felt wonderful.
“So I can see why he got killed, I’d murder him myself if he were here.” Liz flipped through an old issue of the paper.
“That bad?” On the other end of the line, Geo was high and highly amused.
“It’s like he was a frustrated tabloid reporter with bad spelling. You can’t expect much out of a rural rag like this but I mean my god! Tim Messenger was unforgivably bad.”
“Don’t speak ill of the dead!” Geo giggled, knowing exactly where Liz went with that. “So what else? Just cleaning the office?”
“Half the police force dropped by the last couple of days.”
“Shit…”
“No no. Just social calls. Very friendly crowd, here.”
“Yeah? Like, welcome to town, we got tar and feathers?”
“Geo.”
“I jus’ say, watch your back.”
“Not like that. These cops are…very…interesting.”
Geo waited for her to go on. Or, she was falling asleep.
“Met that Inspector Angle…no, Angel. Inspector Angel.”
“Ooooo, the fascist?”
“The very same.”
“And?”
“Very uptight. Caught me at a bad moment, and probably thinks I’m demented.”
“Wot?”
“I cracked my shin and when he tried to help me, I smacked him in the jaw with my skull.”
“You really on target. You were born for my job.”
“That’s me, the accidental dominatrix….No.”
“So let me get this straight, you clocked the chief inspector of police?”
“Yes.”
“Nice first date.”
“No. Definitely not. Anyway then I started laughing and nearly peed myself.”
Geo howled. “This is a great scene! You writing porn now?”
“I nearly peed myself, and anyway, I don’t wear diapers. That’s your gig.”
“No, that is my customers’ gig. I just give them good reason to pee…so you lost it, then? Right there wit the copper? Dahmn, that’s funny.”
Liz wanted to disagree, but didn’t. She thought about mentioning how incredibly attractive he was in person, how well his uniform fit, how delightfully calculating his eyes were, but she knew that Geo might get the wrong idea. Although what that idea was, Liz tried not to think about herself. He was fuckable, and she tried to keep that in mind. Nothing else.
“Who else?”
“The Andrews.”
Geo sucked in her breath at the name. “Two of them? How many Andrews are there in the world?”
“Too many. Those pricks were outrageous. And they have porn star mustaches.” She shuddered. The detectives had not been overtly rude, but their stares were blatantly obvious. She was a slut, but damned if she would ever fuck an Andrew again.
“What an…interesting place, Liz. Who else?”
Liz paused. How to explain Sergeant Butterman? “Sergeant Butterman.”
“Oh, okay. Sure.”
“Danny. His name is Danny.”
“Well it least it isn’t Andrew.” Geo laughed, but Liz could not. “Okay, Liz. Tell me about Danny. You’re holding out. What, is he gorgeous?”
Liz snorted. “No no, that’s not a word you use for Danny. He’s…sweet.”
Geo snorted back at her, then realized that Liz was serious. “You’re serious.”
“Yeah, I guess I am. I mean, he is just very sweet. He just came in to say hi and then stayed for three hours helping me sort papers. He’s been by almost every day since, just to help out. And you should see the cartoons he doodles in his notebook, they are hysterical.! And…he likes Bad Boys II.”
Geo groaned. There was one sore point between them, and it was Liz’ inexplicable fondness for action movies. Geo thought they were corporate whore bastard monstrosities of the soulless industrial entertainment machine, with a good measure of testosterone-fueled patriarchal domination to boot. Liz loved them.
“A real winner.”
“I don’t mean it that way. He’s just…like a big puppy. Adorable.” Liz shrugged and thought desperately how to change the topic.
Geo was silent for a fraction of a second too long. “Maybe that’s just what you need.”
“What?”
“Someone to just be sweet on you. Someone to put up with your OCD. Someone you can…trust.”
Liz decided to pack it in early – 7pm – and head for the pub. She normally did not like going out for socializing while there was still so much left to do, but she was four days into what felt like a massive toxic waste dump cleanup and she really, really needed a break. Part of her was hoping to run into Sergeant Butterman anyway. He talked about the pub all the time and she knew he went there a lot. His bright smile and terrible jokes were something she could really use right about now, on top of a few pints.
It had been a while since she looked forward to spending time with a bloke. After the disaster with Andrew played out, she spent her time cuddling with Geo, staying home alone, or (mostly) staying late at work. While she thought that Danny was a little cute, he was certainly not her type, and this gave her a bit of distance from him when he visited. She could enjoy his company without worrying about consequences or jumping straight to sex. As Geo pointed out regularly, Liz spent far too much time worrying about consequences and/or jumping straight to sex. She preferred the emotional distance of liking someone without commitment, of knowing that the person did not really like her back, or need her, or want to place demands on her. She would answer to no one, not any more, not even Geo. Geo, at least, accepted that, and pretty much felt the same way. Everyone else on earth expected some kind of commitment or emotional investment or compromise….they all wanted a piece of her soul, and she was not giving that away any more.
But Danny was somehow above all of that, or beyond it, or just not affected by it. He was a ‘good kid’ and friendly,
Liz walked into the pub and saw Danny at a table with, she assumed, the rest of the police officers in town. As she veered over towards him, resolving to at least be polite to the lecherous Andes, she saw Inspector Angel sitting with them. He was smiling. Laughing. It took years off him and gave a lightness to his features that she only imagined before. She could not stop staring.
“You got a fan, Inspec-tor.” Doris wagged, nodding towards the door.
Everyone at the table turned to catch Liz King staring at Nicholas. He looked back to his lager, casting a quick glance around at his team. They were all beaming in delighted maliciousness, except the Andes, who looked back at him with a hostility bordering on homicidal.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Liz King turn beet red, give a small wave directly to Danny, and walk up to the bar with a guilty look on her face. Secretly, Nicholas realized that he was very, very pleased. Until he saw Danny.
Danny’s face was as close to rapture as it ever got outside of Bad Boys II and sex, and Nicholas’ pleasure turned to rank fury. Sensing the tide, he immediately shut himself down. It was one trick he never forgot how to do, if he remembered it in time. This time he did, which was fortunate, because Danny leapt out of his chair to go chase down Liz at the bar and it was all Nicholas had in him not to try for a tackle. He absolutely refused to watch Danny walk away, turning instead to resume something, anything, with Tony.
Danny managed to drag Liz back to the table, and she squeezed into a chair between Danny and Doris. The Andes took this as some form of encouragement, despite all evidence to the contrary, and began to sharpen their tough-detective routine. The only one who listened to them was Walker, and perhaps Saxon.
Despite his reservations and their horrible first meeting, Nicholas had to admit that she was funny. She and Danny were riffing on some action flick, Danny providing the gun noises while Liz put out a running commentary on the car chase scenes as if they were sporting events. Doris was howling with laughter and Tony kept spitting out his beer, and finally, finally, the Danny Butterman/Liz King re-enactment of the motorcycle chase scene from Matrix Reloaded cracked Nicholas’ resolve. He laughed until he thought he was going to cry.
“No really he’s not like that, Liz!” Danny whispered in her ear, pissed and smelling faintly of chocolate. They were huddled at the far end of the bar, ostensibly ordering drinks, but really just clinging to each other in an attempt for each to make it to the loo without falling down.
“Yea I can see he laughs, Danny. But he’s trouble. Trust me. I know…”
Danny scoffed, and ended up snorting too, getting her ear all wet. She laughed and rubbed her ear with her shirt sleeve, sending her hand across Danny’s cheek by accident. She went to apologize, looking up at him, but the look on his face stopped her. He was drunk, there was no mistaking that, but he was also staring at her with a deep and earnest desire. She was drunk too, and some part of her thought that she really needed to push him away, but she didn’t, because the other half of her was horny. She was leaning over the bar and he was next to her, one arm draped over her shoulders, and she suddenly realized that his groin was resting against her right hip, because she felt his erection through both of their pants.
He started to lean in and this time she did push him back. “’Ey, Danny! Com’on!” She tried to laugh it off but it sounded like a false note, even to her. Danny gave her a crooked smile, not offended or put out in any way, and pulled back just a breath, enough for both to get their bearings.
They stopped talking for a second, deciding how to move on from their awkward situation. Danny was unruffled by the attraction, Liz could tell, but there was something very furtive in his manner.
“Nicky’s a good bloke, you know.” Danny announced, picking up the conversation they started earlier and turning to face the bar so they stood side by side, barely touching.
“Stick. Up. Ass.” Liz snorted.
“Yeahhh…he takes his work very seriously, Liz.”
“He’s…unbalanced.” She said it, not knowing why.
“Nicholas? He’s the best cop alive!”
“Yeah but is he human? Does he really give a damn about anyone but himself?” She asked, distracted by memories, and Danny frowned at her.
“He nearly got himself killed to save Sandford. To save me. And of course he’s human, what you think he’s the Predator or sumthin’? Oh! Those pod people!” Danny nodded, warming to the idea, but Liz groaned.
“No! Just…he’s awfully…just uptight.” She sighed, giving up trying to explain something she did not have a sober grasp on.
“Oh he loosens up sometimes.” Danny gave her a mischievous, naughty grin and she shook her head.
“Oh come on, Danny. You can’t tell me he’s a sex-crazed idiot.” She meant for the accusation to be so outlandish that Danny would laugh himself silly, but instead, he raised his eyebrows in surprise. “He’s got a girl in every shop?” Liz tried again, hoping to push the joke to a laugh, but Danny just kept staring forward with that surprised look on his face, at a loss for words.
“Come on, Danny, time to go. I’ll help you get home.”
They both whirled around. Angel was behind them, apparently stone cold sober, but not sober enough: as Liz tried to right herself with her pint in her hand, her left leg slid out from under her, her arms flew up, and she clocked Angel on the jaw with her glass. He toppled like a building falling down in slow motion, completely knocked senseless. Danny and everyone else in the pub started yelling and ran to help, swarming around them and causing more chaos than anything. Liz was clinging to the bar edge, appalled, thinking that she should to do something to help as Danny and the Andes dragged the unconscious inspector to a chair.
But all she could focus on was wondering exactly how long he had been standing behind them, and what he had heard, and why he felt the need to spy. He was bad news, she felt it, and she knew that he was someone she needed to stay far away from.
Danny made it a point to stop by Liz’ office every single day on his rounds after their glorious pub night. Sometimes it was just to say hello, sometimes he found a reason to stay longer. He did not tell Nicholas and took great pains to make sure he was not obvious about it. He was certain that Nicholas had not seen the part in the pub where Danny was hitting on Liz, for which he was grateful, because he never meant it seriously. He was just drunk. So was Liz. They did not really do anything and it was clear the next day that Liz decided it never happened, which Danny thought was totally awesome of her. His visits did not feel like cheating or anything, not to him, because, well, he and Liz were good mates now, and that was all. But he also knew that Nicholas did not like her much.
Although Danny suspected he, himself, was starting to like her too much.
“What are you thinking about?” Nicholas pushed Danny onto his back, turning Danny’s own question back on him. They were in bed and Danny had started something, and it was nice, but then he thought of Liz and got confused again. He knew he was attracted to her, but it seemed silly to think of her now.
Nicholas’ hand drifted down and lightly stroked Danny’s cock, apparently not waiting for an answer to what he was thinking about. Danny looked over, smiling, but the smile faded at the sight of Nicholas’ expression. It was not the light-hearted gaze he normally got during foreplay. Danny did not know what it was.
“You’re mine.” Nicholas said it flatly, as if he had been reading Danny’s mind. He squeezed Danny’s cock forcefully, making Danny gasp in surprise.
“Yeah, Nicholas, yeah.” Danny nodded nervously. He wondered where this came from, and more importantly, where it was going. Nicholas began hand fucking Danny, stronger and harder than ever before, and it was almost painful. Danny realized that this was not about foreplay. “Nicky!” He called out, half pleading, half in desire, and in complete surprise. Nicholas propped himself up on one arm and kept the friction on Danny with his other hand. Danny tried to reach out and touch him, but Nicholas pulled away, so he laid his arms down and balled the sheets in his hands in frustration. At that point, still pumping Danny with a force bordering on aggression, Nicholas leaned over and put his lips to Danny’s ear.
“Say it.” It was a growl, a low voice Danny had not heard in a long time. It was incredibly sexy, and Danny moaned, but a part of his mind also remembered that it was a very dangerous voice, a very dangerous sound from Nicholas. They never played this rough, and Danny was not sure it was as enjoyable as it looked on video. “Say it!” Nicholas repeated, pumping his hand incrementally faster and using his thumb to move over the top of the head with every stroke. It was torturous enough but then he bit the top of Danny’s ear. Hard.
At the bite, which hurt all to hell, Danny started to come out of nowhere, an explosion he was not ready to enjoy and not prepared to control. Danny’s hips thrust wildly and he felt Nicholas’ leg wrap over his leg in order to hold him down, forcing him down and forcing him to come and forcing himself on Danny in a strange, bizarre way.
“Yours, Nicky! Yours…..ahhh!” He yelled and utterly collapsed. He regained awareness of himself in Nicholas’ arms, feeling Nicholas petting him slowly and lovingly, and Danny realized that he was going to cry. He forced his face into Nicholas’ chest and sobbed.
Nicholas lay with Danny in his arms, who had stopped sobbing and started sniffling. Hand raping the man was not what he meant to do, but Nicholas lost control the second he realized Danny’s mind was somewhere else. He lost control, and he knew why.
He had seen Danny try to kiss Liz at the pub the week before, and overheard them joking about him, but he knew that Danny was completely pissed and he saw Liz push him off, so that was not something he dwelled on too much. But earlier that day, Nicholas snuck out of the office to the shop, in order to buy a surprise cornetto to give Danny later. According to Danny’s recent call in to Sergeant Turner, he was on the far side of town near the castle and Nicholas figured it was the perfect time to sneak around in broad daylight. He stopped next to the National Trust office, staring, mouth agape. Danny was walking out of the newspaper office, grinning like a school boy, Liz right behind him, smiling. She stopped and propped herself in the doorway and handed Danny his helmet in a familiar, friendly way, bopping Danny in the chest with her other hand. Danny laughed again, put on the helmet, and gave Liz a little wave as he walked off, nearly bouncing with joy.
Danny lied about where he was. Danny was not telling him about his visits to Liz King. Danny…Nicholas did not make it to the shop after that. And he did not fall asleep easily that night, even after Danny looked up with adoration in his eyes, kissed Nicholas on the neck, and fell blissfully asleep.
Liz sat at the pub, looking at her lunch. It was some kind of pudding, and she was hesitant to ask for details. At least the lager was at the right temperature. She was allowing herself the joy of a pint in the middle of the day as a celebration of finally, after nearly two weeks of solid effort, organizing the office. The paper, which came out every week, was riding on AP stories and subscription fluff like puzzles and cartoons until she could focus on it. Now that she had the back end straightened out, she thought it was time to stop thinking like a secretary and more like a reporter. That, at least, earned her a pint, but she did not feel very joyous about it.
Danny had not visited for several days. She saw him out on his patrol, and once he even waved, but he was definitely avoiding her. She surprised herself with how much she missed him, because she was not used to missing people. The joys of being a misanthrope were numerous, and one of the main ones was never feeling the need to pine after anyone, for any reason.
She met most of the town in an incidental way by now, and knew there was plenty of time ahead of her to get to know everyone far too well. Danny was different, though. He just lit up the room with his smile and made Liz feel happy about being in the present moment, something she was not very good at. She was usually too focused on working, writing, research, editing, drafting, remembering…everything. Danny’s few visits gave her the same peace of mind she got around Geo: everything was going to fine, don’t worry, everything will turn out okay. It never did, not for Liz, but it felt so good to pretend every once in a while.
She spent the rest of the day going through the stack of story ideas that Tim Messenger typed out – on a typewriter, no less – and filed away. Most were crap but one or two were still valid leads, so Liz made a few phone calls, a few appointments, and a few rough drafts. It was 8pm before she even looked at the clock.
Someone knocked on the door and she jumped. Her London instincts were still strong, and she debated calling Geo just to have her on the line when she answered the door. Shaking her head, she frowned at herself and got up to answer it.
“Good evening, Ms. King.” Inspector Angel stood rigidly in front of her, neither friendly nor rude.
Liz was not pleased to see him. “Inspector, please come in. I’m glad to see you.”
She thought his facial reaction was a bit shifty, but he came in and stood politely in the middle of the office. She was distinctly unhappy about this, and wondered suddenly if he had been checking up on her. More spying, more snooping, and it churned her stomach.
“Please, have a seat. I went and bought some extra chairs for this place, now that there is room for them.” She motioned to one of the nice office chairs against the wall. Angel stood still and visually, methodically, inspected the room. He could send chills down the back of a polar bear, she thought, and then hit on the idea that it was sexy. He was sexy. And that bothered her most of all.
“You have improved the place a bit.” He finally said before sitting down.
“Took quite a while, really. Tim Messenger was not very organized and the temporary editors did not have any motivation to straighten the place out. Took forever.” She sighed and sat down at the desk, reaching out to automatically straighten the pens in the desk organizer so they all leaned the same direction. She could not decide whether to smile at him or not, and then thought that it was stupid to think about it in the first place, and finally laughed at herself.
Angel gave her a peculiar look. “I beg your pardon?”
“Laughing at myself, no bother.” She straightened her face and reminded herself that he was cop, and so she needed to stay on his good side, if he had one. “Since you’re here, I want to thank you for Sergeant Butterman.”
Angel jerked in the chair, an unconscious and particularly odd movement. “I’m sorry?”
“Sergeant Butterman. He was so much help to me, coming by to go through papers and stuff. He knows everyone and it helped to have that kind of insight sorting a mass of documents full of names I don’t recognize. He told me that you approved his coming by on patrol. I know it’s a bit outside the spectrum of police work, but it really was tremendously helpful.”
Angel stared at her and she thought for a second that something dark and dangerous floated through his eyes, and she began to wonder what his story was. Maybe he just did not like Danny at all, despite his show at the pub. She could see a hard ass like him not being too generous with sweet, bumbling Danny, and the idea filled her with disdain. Anyone who did not like Danny was someone she did not need to like herself.
“Not at all, Ms. King. I’m glad he was able to help.” He gave her a blank expression.
They stared at each other in silence.
“May I ask what brings you by here at this late hour, Inspector?” She asked, trying to sound cold and professional in order to put him on the defense.
“Danny enjoys his visits with you, Ms. King.” Nicholas’ voice dropped about an octave and the hackles on Liz’ neck stood up in alarm. She could not get a bead on this man, and that was not a familiar situation. It was her job to read people and understand them, but neither was happening right now, and she was one step short of terrified. She knew that feeling too well and she knew what would happen if she did not keep control of the situation, but backing off was pretty much all she could do right now.
“Yes?” She asked simply, arranging her face into innocent curiosity.
“That’s all.” He was studying her like a cat with a canary. She interviewed a terrorist in jail once, a man who was a zealot to his cause and absolutely, breathtakingly insane. Nicholas reminded Liz of that man, right now, calculating and dangerous and very unstable. There were no guards here to pull this man off her if he went ballistic, so she decided to let him play his game, to a point, and steer him out as soon as possible.
“He’s a good man.” She stated it, staring right back at him, trying to remain neutral even as she heard her voice pitch up in defense of Danny.
That seemed to catch him off guard, though, and he stood up abruptly. Nodding, he headed for the door, but stopped before opening it. Slowly, she stood up and walked up to where he was standing, careful not to get to close. Her plan was to just be there to make sure she locked the door after he left.
In the next instant he turned and shoved her back and pushed up against her, breathing hard, holding her arms pinned to the wall, but not looking her in the face, and keeping most of his body away from hers, just his shoulders and upper chest pressing down on her. It was aggressive but not entirely threatening, since his legs were set wide and she could knee him in the balls very easily if she tried. She did not want to try, actually, because she felt his body shaking and it occurred to her that if she did put up a fight, it would be the answer to his prayers. Somehow she knew he was not here to rape her, and he was not there specifically to hurt her, but he was trying to subdue her, and he wanted her to allow that to happen.
“Let go of me motherfucker.”
He bounced off her in shock and gave her a terrified, confused look, almost as if she had slapped him. His mouth opened, trying to say something.
“I think you need to leave, Inspector.” She pointed at the door, and his gaze followed.
“My god…I…” He was talking to the door, then took a deep breath to face her again. He looked crushed, as if something inside him was broken, and Liz actually began to feel sorry for him. He squared his shoulders and looked her in the eye with what appeared to be the last of his determination.
“Stay away from Danny.”
He walked out, slamming the door behind him.
Nicholas knew Danny was expecting him. He knew there was some kind of takeout waiting on the coffee table and a movie set to play. He knew Danny would not understand why Nicholas went to Liz’ office, and he knew that he could not justify it. Even to himself. His actions to both Danny and Liz were entirely out of line, and out of character, and Nicholas felt himself cracking into a million pieces as he walked slowly back to the station.
He had gone into that office jealous of her, he finally admitted. He wanted to see what Danny saw, and figure out if it was something Nicholas could give him instead, as ridiculous as that sounded to him now. He wanted to prove to himself that she was deranged, and that Danny could never think of her the way he thought of Nicholas.
Instead Nicholas came up against a woman who was as sharp and hard as Nicholas was himself. Or at least, the way he used to be. She had been polite, kind, solicitous, and in the end as vicious as a bitch protecting her young. He watched her manner change when the subject of Danny was brought up, and he suspected that it was his fault it happened that way.
Nicholas was no bully, and he hated bullies, but he knew he had tried to bully her. He wanted to scare her away, or…something. He remembered her hard look at him at the door, before he grabbed her: self-confidant, unafraid, determined. It was not a vision he saw in many people, and it aroused him in a way that he thought Danny never could. She was willing to fight him and she was willing to win, and his legs went weak with the idea of being overpowered by anyone, even as he knew it was something he did not need nor want.
He grabbed her in confusion, uncertain if he was trying to seduce her or bully her or scare her, or if he was just trying to grasp something he felt was lost to him. Or if he was pushing her just to have her push him down.
And then he understood that it was not just about Danny anymore.
Liz slid down the wall in shock, completely forgetting to lock the door.
She knew she should be scared, that she should be calling someone and reporting the inspector’s behavior. There was no compulsion in her to do either, so she just sat still.
His last words to her still hung in the air. It was more than what he said, because she was fairly certain that she could not trust anything he said, particularly in relation to Danny. It was the way he said it. Desperate, broken, heart-broken…all very good adjectives to use, she thought analytically.
Smoothly, like a key in a lock, the pieces fell together: Nicholas Angel was gay; he was in love with Danny; and he could not deal with Danny caring for anyone else. She felt even sorrier for him, because it was obvious to her that Danny’s adoration of Angel was that of a boy to a man, nothing sexual at all, just reverence. Angel wanted something he could never have, and so he did not want anyone else to have it either. A trifle selfish, perhaps, but who hasn’t felt that way at some point? Liz shook her head.
Danny probably felt the undercurrent, and that was why he was avoiding her, trying to keep himself on Angel’s good side. She could not imagine Danny in a sexual way, even though she admitted to nursing a small, friendly crush on him. He was just sweet and innocent and kind, and it rubbed her raw to think of him being in the cross hairs of a genuine bastard like Angel.
She brought her shaking hands up and rubbed her face, grateful for the fact that she washed up after lunch and there was no makeup left to smear about. The smell caught her attention unexpectedly: his smell. Angel’s cologne was on her, somewhere, and she felt an electric current run through her as she thought of his breath on her neck and the feel of his hands gripping her arms and how good it felt press back, to fight him off, and her mind immediately went to the thought of him under her, gagged...
“God DAMN it!” She hit the floor with her fists.
“You lied to me.”
“S’not anything, Nicky! It’s not!” Danny was raging, pacing back and forth in his kitchen, alternating currents between despair and anger. Nicholas sat at the table, his hands flat down on it, looking at the tips of his fingers.
“You’ve been lying about your patrols, too, Danny. That’s not about us. That’s about the job.”
“The job? That’s what you’re on about? Or her?” Danny stood like a cornered bear, staring down Nicholas from across the room. “I ain’t been vistin’ her since…you know…last week…” Danny looked down, a bit embarrassed to be referring to Nicholas’ sexual attack. It backfired on him, though, because that memory only brought Nicholas’ shame to the surface and made him more determined than ever to do this.
“Danny, I’m just saying that your…our priorities are messed up right now. Maybe…we just need some time apart.”
Nicholas blinked when a wrenching flashback of this same conversation with Janine came to mind. Not quite the same, as there were no concerns about job priorities, of course. But it was close to the same, with Janine raging about the unfairness of it all and Nicholas just calmly, simply, letting her know that it was over. Danny was seething in helplessness, scared and angry and confused, and Nicholas could not bring himself to help. He believed he needed to do this, to push Danny away before they really hurt each other.
He was not sure how they might, but it seemed very real to him right then. He was jealous of Danny and was utterly terrified that Danny would betray him, yet he was also afraid that staying with Danny would rob him of his own soul. He had seen his reflection in Liz King and it was so familiar, so important, that he wondered where it had gone for him. And he wanted her, in that blinding moment of insanity. He wanted her flesh and her mouth and her smell and he wanted things that he simply should not want, and he wondered if that meant he did not love Danny the way he thought he did. He was not gay, after all, so it was likely that his affection for Danny was just a phase; but to say that to Danny would just be pointlessly cruel.
It was this cauldron of conflict that drove Angel forward with his resolve, that made him walk out of Danny’s apartment without turning around. His last view was of Danny standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking down, destroyed.
“Wow, you fucked everything up in record time.” Geo marveled.
“Oh ghod, I did not. Danny tried to kiss me, I didn’t let him, end of story. That was nearly a month ago anyway.”
“Holding out on me. Hunh. And the Angel? Where does he come in, here?”
Liz wondered when Angel went from being “the fascist” to “the Angel,” and how much she could tell Geo about him either way. She decided that she could not tell her anything without setting the woman off like a fire cracker.
“You’re not telling me something.”
“Damnit, Tipsy, do you have to be so damn psychic?”
Geo did not answer.
“Fine. He came by the office the other night. It was…a scene. I don’t know what he wanted. I think he is gay and love with Danny, and totally torturing himself over it.”
Geo whistled. “I really need to move to the country.”
“I would so love that.”
“So the fallout?”
“Danny and the Angel not talking, Danny and me barely talking, everyone else in town talking too much.”
“And you and the Angel?”
Liz cursed inwardly. “Definitely not talking.”
“What the hell did he do?”
“Just a scene, Geo.”
“What, like a kinky scene, with whips and t’ings? Or?”
“Or.”
Geo was silent for a brief moment, but not long enough for Liz. “He’s jealous of you, and thinks you were going to steal his boi?”
“That’s my assumption.” Liz focused on carefully lining up her notepad with the stapler with the tape dispenser.
“Stop it with the desk-jongg.” Geo clucked at her.
Liz growled and sat up, nearly dropping her phone.
“You really don’t want to talk about him.”
“I really, really don’t want to talk about him.”
“You like ‘im!” Geo whistled.
“Not like that. Not even much at all.”
“But….” Geo pressed.
“Okay, he’s sexy. I thought…stuff I don’t need to be thinking about. And he can’t be trusted. And he hates me, and he’s jealous of Danny. And…”
“Awesome. You have crush on a gay man who hates you for stealing his het boi toy. Tell you what, I come visit, I’ll bring the gags and an’ some paddles.” Geo laughed, and Liz felt like slitting her wrists. Or Geo’s wrists. Whichever.
There was a knock at the office door.
“It is fucking nine at night, who the fuck is bothering us?” Geo grumbled.
“I don’t know, Tipsy. Stay with me, just in case.” Liz cradled the phone as she went to the door. It was Danny, looking drunk and forelorn. “Oi, Danny. What are you doing here?”
“Oh ‘allelujah, Cuddles. Get laid, okay?” Geo said quickly and hung up. Liz looked at the phone in frustration before reaching out to pull Danny into the office.
Nicholas finished himself off with a small, strangled cry. He was never one for masturbating much – it seemed such an empty experience – but his enforced celibacy over the last few weeks was killing him. Seeing Danny every day at work and not touching him at night was killing him. Watching Liz studiously avoid the entire police department while chasing down stories about missing swans was killing him. Sexual fantasies running back and forth between Danny and Liz were killing him. In fact Nicholas Angel could not think of any portion of his life right now that did not, in some way, both turn him on and kill him. Except maybe the swans.
This time he did not get up immediately to wash off, to pretend that he was not doing exactly what he was doing. He held himself in the dark, feeling the warm liquid dripping down his fingers, panting a little, listening to his empty cottage.
He loved Danny and he knew, somehow, he would make up with him. The knowledge settled on him comfortably and comforting: it was true. And just as true was the fact that he had no idea where Liz fit into that. Was Danny in love with her? Was she in love with Danny? And just how did he, Nicholas Angel, feel about this woman he physically assaulted? He wanted, desperately, for someone to tell him what to do. Danny had done that for a while, earlier, by telling Nicholas when to shut down and when it was time for sex and when it was time for work. But as their relationship moved forward Danny gave up more and more of his control to Nicholas, which made sense, but left him feeling like a listing ship. Nicholas dreamed of Danny topping him, wanted it so badly he could scream, but he dared never to ask for it because it was his job. He was in charge. He was supposed to hold everything together, and the fact that he broke up with Danny only proved how terrible he was at it.
And Liz was just physical need. He had not been with a woman since the last time he had sex with Janine. He was probably craving it, and he knew it. She was strong though and it was a turn on he tried not to think about. Danny was stronger. He had no way of explaining that to Danny though.
He rolled off the bed and headed to the bathroom. Not in the mood for a shower, he grabbed a towel while he thought of how he was going to make up with Danny, and what he could do to him as well. That would definitely be the best part, he thought: the make-up sex. Clinically he debated his approach, both emotional and physical, and felt himself getting aroused again standing in front of the sink. It was a bit silly, and he laughed at his own libido. He could hear Liz’ laughter in his head, remembering the time at the pub when he overheard her asking Danny if Nicholas was a sex-crazed idiot, right after Danny tried to kiss her. Suddenly, unbidden, the image turned into Danny and Liz kissing, and Nicholas was so hard it hurt. He leaned over with a soft moan of surprise and held the sink with both hands, holding himself up, driving the image out of his brain. The only place it went was south and Nicholas grabbed his cock, pulling and rubbing it as he imagined Danny fucking the hell out Liz, the two of them sweating and groaning as Danny held her hips to his, pushing himself deeper and deeper into the woman, her breasts pressed up against Danny’s broad chest, her mouth round and sucking on Danny’s lips. The image kept playing until Nicholas almost heard the two of them coming, Danny shaking in his familiar way, Liz grinding in her unknown one, both of them hoarse with pleasure, and Nicholas came with an orgasm so powerful it drove him to his knees. His chin hit the sink as he fell, and his last fleeting thought before passing out was that Liz had a way of making his face hurt.
Danny just sat silently, watching Liz. She did not find it bothersome, as Geo had the same habit when she was stoned. In a way, it was very familiar, and Liz wrote more that night than she did all day.
“Danny?”
“Yeah, Liz?” He was starting to sober up from when he first tripped into the office two hours before.
“Danny, I have to interview the inspector tomorrow.” She was hoping to break it to him easy, but he just gave her a blank look. “Angel, Inspector Angel. Nicholas. I have to interview him tomorrow.”
Recognition lit up in his eyes. “Aaie?”
“This drug ring the Andes broke up, it’s big news…”
“Three fourteen year olds and a bag of weed? Gawww.” Danny snorted.
Liz felt the same way, but it was her job. “Yes, that. So I’ll be by the office tomorrow. Do you…would you rather I not, you know, stop by to say hi, if you’re there?”
Danny looked at her and blinked. “Liz?”
“Yes, Danny?”
“Why d’you keep straightening up your desk so much?”
“Oh. Well. I just like everything to be in order. Is all.”
“But it is straight. S’mat wrong with how straight it is now?”
Liz realized she had the stapler in her hand. “Geo calls is desk-jongg; always moving things around. They just never seem…perfect enough.” She put down the stapler.
“Nicky’s perf’k.”
“What?”
Danny looked as if he was trying very hard not to cry, and Liz froze, flummoxed.
“Nicky’s perfect. Don’t you think he’s perf’k?” Danny leaned forward, so sincere it hurt to look at him.
Liz most certainly did not think Angel was perfect, or perf’k, or in any way close to it. She was not looking forward to seeing him tomorrow, and this conversation was not making her any more comfortable with the idea.
“Who is Geo?” Danny asked. Liz was getting a headache keeping up with the swerves.
“She’s…my best friend. My sister. She’s everything, really.”
Danny’s eyes lit up. “You love her?”
“Of course I do.”
He nodded. “I love Nicholas.” The tears came back, he refused to say anything else, and suddenly Liz understood a lot more than she had before. Danny left not long after, and Liz did not expect to see him again any time soon.
She poured a large, overly large shot of vodka and sat back down, thinking that Nicholas had taken Danny from her again. She did not know why she thought of it that way, and she did not want to think about how she felt about Nicholas in relation to that. He clearly did not know what he wanted, and while she was willing to meet it halfway and say that she wanted him physically, she could not think of him as anything but a bastard.
Nicholas Angel made Danny cry. Somehow, she thought, that son of a bitch should pay.
“Thank you for seeing me, Inspect…what happened to your chin?” Liz stood in the door of Nicholas’ office, surprise on her face.
“Nothing, I fell.” He touched the bandage on his face, knowing that it did not cover the bruise that blossomed around the actual cut. “Please, come in, Ms. King.” He motioned to the chair across from his desk. He could not tell if she was wearing make-up – women were very sneaky and clever about that, he learned over the years – but she looked fresh and clean and soft. He tried to steer his mind to safer waters, but he was having a very hard time looking at her without thinking of the cataclysmic fantasies he was nursing about her and Danny. Just thinking of them now nearly left him speechless.
“Thank you. I’m here about that drug ring…”
They went through the motions of the interview, Liz asking the expected questions and Nicholas giving the expected answers. He could tell she was hurrying it, and he also caught her furtive glances over towards Danny’s desk in the main room. Danny was out on patrol with Doris, though, so Nicholas felt comfortable enough in the meantime.
“Well, thank you, Inspector. I appreciate your…”
“Lunch?”
“What?”
“Lunch. Food. Eating? I’m asking if you will join me for lunch.” He repeated himself when she failed to respond. It was an entirely spur of the moment invitation and Nicholas felt as surprised as Liz looked.
They sat down at the pub rather formally. Nicholas could not shake the feeling that it was a first date, and he hoped to hell that she was not feeling the same way.
“I’m sorry, Ms. King, if you are uncomfortable…”
“Well I am. If I remember correctly, last time we were together you threw me up against the wall.” She spoke tersely, and Nicholas wondered what inspired him to this fit of insanity. Then she looked at him, severe and disapproving, and he fought down a very inappropriate hard on.
“I was…distraught. I even wish I could blame it on drinking.”
“I usually do.” She sighed and looked away.
“I beg pardon?”
“Just…go on. You were apologizing, and doing a bad job of it. Try to redeem yourself.” She just simply refused to look at him and that act was as powerful to him as any verbal reprimand. She was treating him like shit, and he knew damn well he deserved it, and his hard on raged underneath the table.
“I’m sorry. I’m genuinely, honestly, sorry.”
She looked at him. “That was good. And next time?”
“Next time what?”
“Next time you decide to throw me around. What will your apology sound like then?” She looked up and stared hard at him, fierce, and empty. Nicholas sat back.
“I don’t do that.”
“You did.”
He stared at her, because she was right. And on top of that, he had short of assaulted Danny earlier that same week, and now he was feeling dirty and evil. That was not him, though, not at all, he did not act that way. He was a police officer. A good man…
“I’m…a bit…confused.”
She stopped her glaring and blinked in surprise. “About what?”
“I don’t know.” He stared at his food, trying to be honest but not having a clue as to what he was supposed to be feeling or saying. She ignored it and started eating again, and he followed her lead with relief.
“Do you miss Danny?” She finally asked, breaking the silence. Nicholas froze with a fork halfway to his mouth, then slowly lowered it.
“I work with him every day.”
Liz sighed heavily. “He misses you terribly, he’s just a wreck. You need to make up with him.”
Nicholas stared at her in horror. “You think…you think I’m gay?”
Liz gave him a withering look. “The man cries over you. You nearly rip me apart for making doe eyes at him. Just what the hell do you expect anyone to think?”
“Danny and I are close partners, and friends. I don’t think that necessarily leads to the idea that…”
“Oh for fuck’s sake!” She threw her fork down and rolled her eyes.
Nicholas swallowed, and made the next move, and when he made it, he realized that it was what he planned all along.
“Can I talk to you, Liz?”
They were both careful not to make their meetings very obvious. There was no way to keep people from seeing them eat lunch a the pub together regularly, or from noticing that the Inspector stopped by her office a lot when he got off work, but both she and Nicholas went to great pains to make everything look above board and professional, and most importantly, invisible to Danny.
Liz was not entirely pleased about it. Nicholas seemed to be vetting her approval, and she did not approve of anything he did. Not the way he attacked her, not the way he dumped Danny, and not the way he apologized for either. She particularly did not like the way he moved, his elegant athletic grace tightly wound up in a very fit and attractive body. He was not handsome but his face was hardened by experience, and his eyes flashed when he became passionate about anything. She hated all of that, because she did not want to like him that much. She debated seducing him and fucking him and getting it over with, but alarm bells went off when she considered that plan, and she learned from Geo that alarms bells were a good caution sign. She kept her hands to herself and her libido on “off.” Or at least, on “vibrate.” Whatever buttons Nicholas Angel was pushing, she was not going to allow to register.
Geo, of course, knew better.
“You’re dating the gay one?”
“We’re not dating, Geo.”
“Huh.”
“We just talk a lot. He’s got a lot to talk about. That whole shoot out last year shook him up and then his relationship with Danny came from left field…apparently he’d never been attracted to guys before.”
“Melt down material, if you think you’re straight.”
“Actually he does think he’s straight.”
“The whole time he shags his boyfriend, he thinks he’s straight? Love it!” Geo howled with laughter. Liz really did not have a reply to offer that, as she thought it was very stupid herself, and had said as much to Nicholas. Who, she noted with grudging admiration, ignored her completely on that topic.
“What about Danny, then? You see him much?”
“Not really. He’s spending a lot of time at the pub and Nicholas says when he’s at work, he never talks directly at him.” She put Geo on speakerphone as her ear was beginning to hurt.
“You sound like you miss him.”
“I do.”
“Go talk to him.”
“It’s not me he needs to talk to.”
“You’re just trying to get them back together, aren’t you?”
“Well…yeah, I guess I am.”
“Nice.” Geo sounded angry.
“What does that mean?”
“It meaaaaans that you have found the perfect boyfriend. Or boyfriends. Perfect. For. You.”
“Just what the hell does that mean?”
“It means this is a great way for you to set up shop there without actually having to get intimate with anyone. Hell you can fuck them, but no pressure, they can got each other to go home to, and no bother for you at all.”
“You sound really angry, Geo, and I don’t know what the fuck all you are on about.”
“Oh Christ! Liz! Date a straight man!”
“I tried that, Geo!”
“No you just pretend, don’t you? You like being seen with a guy on your arm but you don’t want to come home to one!” Geo was shouting, and the speakerphone magnified it to epic proportions.
“It wouldn’t be any different with women, Geo!”
“That’s not what the fuck I’m saying! I know you’re straight! Keee-rist, Liz! Your home is your castle but that don’t mean you have to pull up the bridge forever!”
“I will NOT allow it to happen again!”
“You won’t! It don’t follow, Liz! It is not one way the other, completely alone or completely destroyed! Can’t you allow yourself to fuhkin’ be happy?
“I’m bloody fucking fantastically happy!” Liz snarled.
“You!” Geo was full out yelling into the phone. “You wear Andrew like a martyr! Let it go!”
“If he’s martyr it’s your fault! Not mine!”
“Don’ you dare lay that bloody mess at my feet!”
“I don’t need anyone, Geo! I don’t need Angel and I don’t need Danny and I don’t fucking need you!” Liz punched the phone line to hang up. She sat at her desk, head in her hands, trying to calm down. And then the worst feeling the world came over her.
She looked up to see Nicholas staring her.
Danny had gone home to change and clean up, as usual, and afterwards nearly ran out of the apartment. Everything in it, every movie, every scrap of junk food, every pillow reminded him of Nicholas and he could not take it sober. He walked down the familiar road to the pub and tried to think of something else. The only thing that came to mind was the other person in Sandford he was trying to avoid.
Thinking of Liz was not quite as painful. She was so strong and beautiful, and understanding. She never asked him to explain anything and she got every movie reference he made. He really wished he was not quite so hung up on Nicholas, because part of him really wanted to hit on Liz. He remembered their brief encounter at the pub before she clocked Nicholas, and the memory was warm and sexy. He liked to remember it a lot. He also liked to remember the earlier part of the evening, when Nicholas and Liz were both laughing together and smiling and everyone was having fun. Danny thought at the time that he could not have been happier, with those two sitting next to him, making rude noises at the Andes. Danny admitted that they looked very good together, though, and he knew that Liz thought Nicholas was very handsome that night. She might not remember saying so, but she did. Not for the first time, he wondered if Nicholas would have hit on Liz if Danny were not around. Part of that idea struck him as a turn on, but his heart lurched at the idea of Nicky with anyone else. Not that it mattered now that Nicholas was done with him.
Nicholas never asked her about the phone call, nor told her how much he overheard. He walked in that night, put his arm around her, and let her cry on his shoulder. He asked her about Geo and how long they were friends, and where they met, and what they did together. He was a little taken aback to find out about they way slept together, spooned like sisters, completely without sex and cuddling for hours, but he did not say anything. He talked to her, kissed her on the cheek like a brother, and told her everything would be better the next day.
She ground her teeth in anger, but her world did not collapse because Nicholas found out a few private things about her. He seemed to realize that they had not talked about her much, mostly always discussing his problems instead, and so started making a concerted effort to ask her questions about herself during their lunches. She tried desperately to avoid answering any of them.
Slowly, Inspector Nicholas Angel was starting to act like a human being, someone she could care about and trust, and she hated it.
Nicholas was beside himself. Even masturbating lost its allure in the bright light of the attraction he felt for Liz, an attraction that he absolutely and resolutely could not act upon if he ever expected to make Danny a part of his life again. He knew instinctively that if he was to get to Liz, it would only happen after he and Danny were on the mend. It seemed somehow natural, because ever since the fantasies began, he stopped worrying about how to juggle both of them. It was as if a subconscious part of his mind was allowing him to have it all, if he could just figure out a way to make it work in real life. That idea, though, still felt too odd to act on, so he just tried to keep the status quo and wait until the right time to confront and apologize to Danny. It did not occur to him that he would need to do more than that, because he knew Danny loved him, and Danny would never say no to him. He was just waiting.
In the meantime, his fantasies became his refuge and dream world. The sexuality of them faded sometimes and he found himself thinking about the three of them watching a movie together on Danny’s couch, or the three of them at the pub making fun of the Andes, or the three of them in London…he shook his head, convinced his sanity was cracking.
Liz was not making it easy, in any case. He heard enough of the phone conversation with Geo to know that she had been through some kind of traumatic relationship, but she absolutely refused to discuss it, even in an indirect way. She holding him at arms length, even as she willingly met him for lunch or the occasional furtive dinner or allowed him to tuck into her office and read a book while she worked on the paper. She did not drink when he was there, and that was part of his motivation for doing it, because the more he got to know her, the more he suspected that the full bottle of vodka in her office was not the same full bottle as the week before. He wanted to take care of her, but she was damned and determined not to let him.
He looked out from his office to the main room, where Danny was hunched over paperwork and Doris sitting down talking to Walker. He wanted to grab Danny and hike him over to Liz’ office where they would all hang out together talking and laughing and…kissing…and…he shook his head again.
“Damnit, Angel, get to work.” He straightened himself up and tried to focus on the documents piled on his desk. The effort was, in the majority, unsuccessful.
“You know I love you, right? You know that?”
“Well…”
“I do, I swear. Please come back to me.”
“I didn’t go anywhere. You hung up on me.”
“I know, I know, I’m so sorry, Tipsy, I really am.”
“But you know I’m right, too. Right?”
Liz bit her lip. “Yeah, yeah, bugger it. You’re right.”
“And so?”
“…what?”
“Are you going to date a straight man?”
She could tell Geo was smiling, despite the stern tone. She played with the stapler, wondering how on earth she got it on the left side of the desk when it clearly did not belong there.
“Uh, Liz?”
“I’m…a little confused these days.”
“And this is different from any other day, how?”
“Smart ass.” Liz whispered.
“Yes, better a smart ass than a dumb ass. What are you so confused about?”
“I’ve never told you much about Angel, have I?”
“Other than he’s a flamer, no.”
“I never said that.”
“Never needed to. What’s your point?”
“He’s…really gorgeous. Not like, you know, Johnny Depp. But really…I mean…”
“Oh mi ghod, you are at a loss for words!” Geo shrieked in amusement.
Liz did not argue with her.
“This kind of goes against the plan of dating a straight man, doesn’t it? The Angel has his ButterBoi, right?”
Liz wondered when Danny became “ButterBoi” but it somehow fit him perfectly. “Well…not right now, of course…but…”
“What else are you not telling me?”
“Seriously, Geo, not much. It’s just a vibe. He’s just very…interested. It’s odd. It’s like we are on dates where we mostly talk about his boyfriend and my heterosexual life partner.” She left out the part of him camping out in her office every evening and trying to get her to eat more than drink and how wonderful it was to have someone vacuum the place when she told him too.
“This country livin’ thing is just outrrrrrageous, mon. I’m gonna have to try it.”
Danny did not stay long at the pub. Doris was off on some strange date and the Andes were being more obnoxious than usual. He planned to go home, or he thought he planned to go home, but instead found himself circling around the square towards Liz’ office. He knew none of this was really her fault, and while he had heard rumors that she and Nicky were having lunch sometimes together, he did not believe for a minute that Nicholas felt anything for her but annoyance, if not worse. Danny decided that was fine; if Nicholas was willing to throw Danny away then of course he would be stupid enough not to take to Liz. Well, maybe it was time someone did take to Liz. He was not really going to hit on her, decided. Maybe just talk for awhile. After all he was single now and there was plenty of time to get to know her, whenever he wanted to.
Danny did not even knock at the door to the office, just walked in. Nicholas was sitting next to Liz at her desk, smiling…up to the point that he saw Danny.
“Danny!” Liz jumped up, pure pleasure on her face. Danny looked from her to Nicholas, who remained seated but focused on Danny intently.
“Wot the fuck you doin’ here?”
“Danny, calm down…” Liz said, strongly, and Nicholas looked down at the ground. As if she was talking to him, as if she had a right to tell him what to do.
“Wot, you two together now?” Danny’s chin went up and his eyes narrowed.
“Danny, no.” Liz looked at him, worried. Danny kept swinging his gaze between them. Finally Nicholas stood up.
“Danny, it’s not like…this. We’re just friends.”
“An’ that’s wot I told you.” Danny pointed at Nicky, who flinched.
“I know. I should have believed you. I’m…I’m sorry.” He did not sound like the self-assured Nicky that Danny was used to, and that scared him a bit. Or not. Danny could not decide if he was pleased or furious. It was, after all, exactly what he dreamed of Nicky saying to him for weeks, but instead of relief, Danny felt a slow burning crawling up his stomach.
Liz and Nicky appeared to see it in him, as they took half-steps backwards.
“Danny, we just need to talk…” Nicky held out his hands to his sides, and stared directly at him.
“You left me.”
Nicky nodded. “I did. I did. It was a mistake, Danny, I swear it was…”
“You walked out.”
Nicholas’ mouth moved with silent words.
Danny walked towards the desk. “And now you want me back, do yeh, Nicky?”
“Danny, you need to calm down…” Liz said, pointing at him. Danny ignored her.
“Lock th’ door, Liz.” Danny said, not really sure of what he was thinking, but certain that he wanted the door locked.
“No. I don’t know what you plan on doing, but it’s not happening here.”
Danny turned and locked it himself, then stalked back. Liz looked terrified, but he shook his head at her. “This ain’t about you. Sit down.” He pointed to chair against the wall and she looked at it for a beat before walking over and sitting down.
“Danny, you need to think about what you’re doing. Before you can’t take it back.”
Danny and Nicholas stood a foot apart, Nicholas drawn and anxious. “You want to fight it out, Danny? Make me pay? Hurt me?”
Liz stood up. “Not here. I won’t have this.”
“Okay, then. Let’s do it.” Nicholas ignored her. He took off his sweater jacket and laid it over the back of the chair, rubbing his hands as if he was getting ready to box.
“Omighod, you don’t mean this…” Liz looked back and forth between them in horror.
Nicky nodded, his look serious and committed, as he stared Danny in the eyes.
“Naw, Nicky, that’s not what I mean.” Danny slowly raised his hands, calmly and firm, to Nicholas’ shoulders. Nicholas gave a little gasp at the touch, closing his eyes. Danny leaned in and kissed his neck, but it was not sweet or simple. He nearly bit the skin, sucking it hard, feeling Nicholas’ legs crumble, and Danny held him up through brute strength.
He remembered the vicious, almost cruel hand job Nicky had given him not long after Liz came to town. Danny pulled away from Nicholas’ neck and looked straight at him.
“When y’did that, Nicky, it weren’t about me, eh?”
Nicholas knew exactly what he was talking about. Breathless, controlling himself, Nicholas nodded. “Yes, Danny. It was about me. I was…scared.”
Danny looked away for a second, thinking. He brushed a hand over Nicholas’ crotch, feeling the press of his erection through his jeans. Nicky sucked in his breath at the brief touch, and suddenly, Danny knew exactly what he wanted.
He picked up Nicky and threw him onto the desk. It was easy for him, he was always the stronger of the two, and Nicky did not really weigh that much. Shocked, Nicky just sat on his ass and stared at Danny, propping himself up on his hands.
Danny reached out and grabbed his pants by the belt loops, and threw Nicky over like a slab of meat. He reached his hand up between Nicky’s legs and roughly clutched his balls through the jeans.
“Christ, Danny!” Nicky instinctively tried crawling away, grabbing the edges of the desk to drag himself. Danny wrapped his hands around Nicky’s hips and pulled, yanking him back. He took one hand and shoved it into the back of Nicky’s head, forcing his face all the way down to the desk. Nicky’s arms were still trying to find purchase but without success. Danny kept his hand on the back of Nicky’s head, while his other hand reached around his waist to start undoing Nicky’s belt and pants.
“Stop! Just fucking stop!” Liz stood up, yelling, and both men looked at her. Danny growled in frustration, but it was Nicholas who responded.
“No, no, Liz, just…wait a second, let me talk to him.” Liz and Nicholas stared at each other, and Danny had enough of that.
“You goin’ to listen to me, Nicholas. You goin’ to do what I want for a change.” He ripped off Nicholas’ pants with one hand, the other holding his head down, pressing him back into the desk.
“Danny, hold on, wait…” Nicholas, who always topped, was gasping for air, and Danny enjoyed the tinge of fear in his voice as Nicholas resumed his desperate scrabble to escape. It turned into a wrestling match for a moment, but Nicholas was off his game and Danny was stronger. When he had Nicholas pinned and his head still pressed against the desk top, Danny undid his own pants and pulled out his cock. It was engorged and red and throbbing and Danny was entirely ready, even if Nicholas was close to whimpering. He pressed his erection against the back of Nicholas’ thigh and it was the first real moan he got out of Nicky. Danny pulled down Nicholas’ underwear, Nicholas resumed his desperate squirming, and Danny wet himself down with spit.
“Never again, Nicky. Y’never walk out on me again, eh?” He did not wait for permission, just pulled Nicky’s cheeks apart and pushed himself into his opening.
Nicky’s scream as he was violated was genuine, as he felt Danny moved deeply into him. He ran out of breath and started a hoarse, high pitched groan. Danny stopped listening, sinking balls deep, nearly shaking with anger and anticipation.
He felt his cock moving inside his lover, filling him up, waves of physical pleasure washing over him and mixing with his fury and hurt and creating an unstoppable force of lust. He did not really care what Nicky felt right then, and he was not bothered by that. He moved his hands to Nicky’s naked hips and began to grind as hard and as slowly as he could.
“Danny! O ghod, Danny!” Distantly Danny heard Nicholas’ words, and he noticed that fear was fading, and he felt Nicholas’ skin getting hot under his hands. He leaned forward to wrap one hand around Nicholas and find his cock, which was hot and sticky and hard, and Danny felt justified. He heard louder moans from Nicholas, but what turned Danny on was knowing that he had his cock inside of Nicholas, and his hand wrapped Nicholas’ dick with a vice grip, that Nicholas was held entirely by him, and could not move without him. He lowered his head and aimed himself deep.
“Never…again…Nicholas…” Danny began thrusting harder and faster, pushing and pulling until he nearly dragged Nicholas off the desk. He worked his rhythm up and he felt himself crashing, a release he knew but never understood and rarely hit this hard. As his climax crawled through his spine, Danny bit his lip, leaned forward, and put both hands on the desk on either side of Nicholas, drawing himself up so he could shove his considerable weight into his orgasm, to get as deep as he could, to crush as much of his anger and pain into Nicholas as possible. His hips finally started moving on their own and Danny felt it consume him, and he threw his head back and released himself into his lover with curses and one name: “Nick!”
Nicholas knew he could have escaped if he really wanted too; he knew that if he had tried, really tried, he could have stopped this from happening. He also knew that if he did that, any chance of ever being with Danny again was over. This was not what he wanted or expected but he understood that it was exactly what needed to happen, to both of them.
He opened his eyes. They were so filled with tears he could barely see, but looking across the room, he saw Liz sitting in one of the office chairs, one hand over her mouth, the other gripping the arm of the chair.
“Fuck.” He was barely able to even say it from exhaustion and pain before he dropped his head back down to bang it on the desk.
Danny’s fury was wiped clean. He stood behind Nicky, wondering what in the hell he had done, holding onto Nicky’s waist. The man under him was wracking himself with deep, desperate gasps of air, and Danny was scared to move him for fear of causing more pain. He saw him raise his head and then bang it on the desk, and Danny decided that was enough. He tucked himself into his pants after cleaning off with some tissues from the box that had been pushed to the floor (ignoring the blood that he knew wasn’t his), zipped up, and bent over to try pulling Nicky’s pants back up. Nicky rolled to his side, and when Danny saw his tear streaked face, he was appalled.
“Gawd, Nicky, what’d I do?”
Nicky gasped, and smiled a little. It was the best, most beautiful smile in the whole world and Danny leaned over the desk and kissed him.
As the men untangled, cleaned up, and got dressed, Liz sat completely frozen to her chair. She refused to look at either one of them, and Danny seemed to feel likewise about her. Angel, of course, felt differently.
“Liz?” He said gently, and with apparent pain crouched down next to her. She shook her head and looked away. She was shocked, appalled, speechless, and earth-shatteringly turned on. It was far more than she could take in and she just wanted the both of them gone. Now.
“Are you okay? I know what you must think of us right now…”
“NO. No you don’t. You have no fucking clue. Get the fuck out.” She saw Danny come up behind Nicholas, standing over him, but finally looking at Liz. He really did look worried, but it made no impact on her at all. They could play at games like this but she knew where it went, where it always went, and the price to be paid for it. She could not even understand how she wanted either man…but she did, and that only made her more angry at them both.
Nicholas gently reached out and ran his hand down her arm. The charge made the hair stand on end, but if he noticed, he did not comment. He wrapped his fingers over her hand, rubbing her skin with his thumb. She felt a flush rise up from her chest and she took a deep breath to counter it.
“Danny?” Nicholas asked, still staring at her. She kept her gaze to the side, off of the both of them.
“Yeah, Nicky?”
“You think your couch could hold three of us?” He said it so softly she was surprised Danny heard it. Horrified, Liz scooted back.
“Sure, Nicky.” Danny’s smile was as simple and honest as it ever was, as he laid one of his large hands on Nicholas’ shoulder. “Y’want it then, yeah.” His eyes were bright and excited.
“No. I’m not playing your goddamn games, like this.” She pulled her arm away from Nicholas’ touch. He stood up, a bit too slowly and wobbly, so Danny reached out to brace him. “You both…I should know better. Just get out.”
They looked down at her for a long moment, then Nicholas turned to leave. He opened the door and let Danny go out first, then turned around, Danny once again his shadow.
“Liz.” His voice dropped that octave again, becoming low and seductive and very, very dangerous.
“No. I don’t want any part of you.”
“We’d never hurt you.”
“Fucking bastards, not like I haven’t heard that before. Get out before I call the police.” She snarled.
Danny pulled on Nicholas’ arm, and they were gone.
Nicholas called out from work the next day, and so did Danny, neither of them much caring a damn about gossip at this point. He was god-awful sore, and a bit bloody, and not up to much gymnastics, but he made love to Danny for 24 hours until neither one of them could see straight. They stopped so Nicholas could make them vegetarian omelettes and later, vegetarian cassoulet, and even took a break to watch Point Break, with Danny back to his usual grumblings about how Nicholas really needed a bigger TV.
Danny seemed blissfully happy to follow Nicholas’ lead again, back to the roles they knew and found some peace in. Nicholas felt distant from that, remembering the feeling of Danny on him, remembering Liz ordering him about her office, and…he did not know what to do. He thought he was just going down the same road again but he had to figure it all out, this time, or risk losing everything again. He did not think he could do that – his track record was damn poor, after all – but he was back to trying. He made love to Danny and tried to keep his despair from leaking into his motions.
Neither one of them talked about what happened at Liz’ office. Danny gave off the vibe that it was a matter of such mysterious, mythical proportions that it should simply not be discussed by mere mortals. Nicholas decided that he was not very wrong about that.
He did wonder, though, how he was going to get Liz back. It was funny to think of it that way, because he never really had her to begin with, but it still felt like the best description of events. He stewed on the idea but let it simmer. Now he was Danny’s again, there was plenty of time to figure out where she would fit in all this. She had to. Nicholas needed it.
It was everything she hated: a primal truth between Nicholas and Danny was let loose in that room, something indescribable and heavy. They needed each other, and had hurt each other, and would never live in peace until they got past that and back into each other. It was romantic in a horrific way and she could not stop the replay of it in her mind for any amount of effort. The worst part was that it was undeniably sexy to remember how driven and craven Danny was on top of Nicholas, how hard he pushed himself into the man he loved, or the expression on his face when he climaxed. It was not the unsexed, innocent Danny she always assumed, and the knowledge nearly undid her.
It was not easy to remember Nicholas, either. It was impossible not to know that he was not used to being on the bottom, in a helpless position under Danny, squirming and yelling with his head pressed hard against the desk. She had watched his lower back writhe as Danny thrust inside him so violently, and she remembered very clearly the sweat that poured off his skin.
And yet for all that, she was mortified. Not that it was two men, which in fact was the part that tweaked her the most, or even the violence of the sex. It was the loss of control, the men both completely unchained and going at each other, reaching past their limitations and finding a common chord rather than destruction. She wanted that trust, the knowledge that as hard as they pushed and no matter how much they hurt, they would not destroy. It was a power exchange, not a power play, and Danny clearly never intended to break Nicholas.
Breakage. Destruction. It was a running theme for her, and she was livid with jealousy over what she saw between them. She wanted them, and they wanted her, but she could not believe that it would be anything other than annihilating, because as much as they trusted each other, she could not trust either. It was impossible for her, and she knew it, but she longed for it with a feeling of complete abandonment.
Love. Pure, honest, and powerful at its best, but more often cruel, malevolent and catastrophic. People died for it, and killed for it, and she knew that as truth.
Love. Once again, it crept into her life and destroyed everything she put so much of herself into. Once again, everything was ruined. But then, that was what vodka was for.
The months dragged by for everyone. Summer’s were like that, and Danny knew that nothing exciting would happen until everyone woke up from being overheated and on vacation.
Nicholas told Danny to leave Liz alone, not in threatening way, but because he said she needed some time. Danny understood – he remembered the look on her face, That Night, and it was not good. He wondered what, exactly, Nicholas had in mind for her. It did not occur to Danny that Nicholas might not have something particular in mind, because Nicholas always had a plan, and anyway something about Liz screamed the need for lots of planning. Nicholas never explained exactly what he meant that night about the three of them on Danny’s couch, although Danny enjoyed filling in the scenario with some choice fantasies of his own. These never really involved Danny himself, who assumed that he was just going to watch. Kind of like a porno. That worked for him just fine.
Throughout the summer, Liz built contacts and went to village council meetings and wrote some of the most god-awful boring news reports of her entire life. There was not an escaped goat in the district that she did not know about. She spent a great deal of time taking notes to put into an idea for a novel she was working on, though, and kept herself busy with character development. She managed to keep her exposure to the police force at a minimum, and the few times she had to interview Nicholas went fairly smoothly. He never got personal, but he was never cold either. Cordial, polite, and friendly were the words she chose for Angel now. Danny was much the same, although she saw even less of him. Not for her were nights out at the pub when she had so many stories to write, and all the vodka she needed on top of the filing cabinet.
She missed them both, or at least, missed what they used to be to her. While they had not been in her orbit for too long, they were indelibly marked into that part of her life she labeled “The Transition.” Geo called it “The Disaster.”
“You been moping for months, girl.”
“Not moping, Geo. Working. There is a difference, not that you would know.”
“I work ‘ard.”
“Of course you do.”
“Beeetch. You start dating a straight man yet?”
“All the single men here are named ‘Andrew.’ No.”
“And you’re not talking to the Angel or his ButterBoi.”
“No.”
“You ever gonna say what happened, there?”
“I told you. They found each other. I am superfluous.”
“Nobody tells me nothin’.” Geo muttered.
“I tell you everything!”
“Hmmm, really?”
“No.”
“’At’s what I thought. You coming to visit soon, Cuddles?”
“Why? So you can wheedle the truth out of me?”
“Yes, yes, naturally.”
“I can’t. It’s not like I have anyone to stand in for me here. To take a week off I have to put two week’s worth of the paper to bed the week before.”
“I worry for you.”
“Then come here and visit me.”
“To the country?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“I don’t think I fit in the doors.”
“No, they are very short people here. But…you could try.”
“Cuddles, I think about it. You need to give me better reasons than mysterious gay boys and short doorways.”
Nicholas was not entirely sure of what he was waiting for. He kept a close tab on Liz, although very discreetly. Danny helped him with that, of course, but in fact it was not hard to keep tabs on someone who never did anything. She went for her daily runs every morning in the opposite direction that Nicholas went for his, her stories in the paper outlined what she did all day, and staying late in her office was what she did at night. Along with drinking, he was sure of that.
So he just kept waiting on something, anything, that would give him the spark he needed. Nicholas was nothing if not methodical and patient, and he was willing to keep waiting on her. What he was not waiting on, however, was for Danny to get shot.
Danny saw Liz at the small news shop on the corner just off the square. He could not help it, he just walked over and into the shop to talk to her. He knew she was avoiding Nicholas and him, and he knew Nicholas wanted them to stay out of her way, but there was only so much a man could take: Nicholas boycotted Chuck Norris the week before. Something had to be done.
“Aaayyy, Liz!”
“Danny?” She smiled, and he loved it.
“Wh’chter doing?”
“Um, buying a cornetto?” She held it up and waved it in the air.
“Yeaaa!” He clapped his hands and her smiled broadened until she was laughing. It was beautiful to watch and he decided that he was going to tell Nicky that it was time to get the couch in gear. He was momentarily distracted as someone pushed in between them, going to the back of the shop.
“Liz, you got to talk to Nicholas.”
Liz’ brows furrowed, and Danny quickly plowed on, but lowered his voice to a whisper. “No, Liz! I mean it! He’s boycotted Chuck Norris!”
She looked surprised and whispered back. “That’s stupid!”
“Yeah!”
“Danny…I…”
“Please? Just talk to him. He says Chuck’s movies are dumb. You know that’s not true.”
Liz nodded reluctantly. “Okay. I’ll do what I can.”
“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” He patted her on the shoulder and she skittered out the door. He decided that he needed a cornetto himself, in celebration of his success with Liz, and turned directly into the pistol.
Liz was not four feet out the door when she heard Danny yell something, followed by gunshots. A man burst out the door of the shop, a pistol in his hand, and began sprinting. Without thinking, without any plan at all, Liz dropped her cornetto and her purse and took off after him. She did not spend half her life on the track team for nothing.
He was not difficult to overcome, as he was obviously not an athlete, and she tried to think of what she was going to do next in the second before she caught up to him. It was not much of a decision: she accelerated into her top sprint speed and crashed into him, making both of them topple to the ground. The gun went off as they went down, but he was using his hands to try and catch himself so the gun flew out of his grip as he reacted to the tackle.
Liz reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair, and just like she saw in the movies, pulled up and then slammed down, smacking his skull into the pavement with a sickly thud.
She sat on top of him and looked at her hands, feeling like she was sinking in tar, and wondering if it was dream, or if she really had killed someone again. It was several seconds before the sensation slid away and she heard someone screaming back at the shop. Screaming for an ambulance.
Sergeant Turner yelled something, which turned into Doris shrieking, which sent Nicholas flying out the door with the entire department on his heels. Tony, who was out on a graffiti call, was the first to the scene and had already summoned the paramedics and handcuffed the dazed gunman. Nicholas physically tossed people out of his way as he forced himself into the shop, where he found Liz, sobbing, her arms soaked in Danny’s blood, her hands over a wound in his upper shoulder, trying to stem the flow of arterial blood.
Anyone who could be spared was at the hospital, which consisted mostly of Nicholas and one of the Turners. Everyone else was back at the station working on damage control, as the story of the incident spread like wildfire throughout the village and naturally the assumption was that another large scale shoot-out was still in progress.
Liz cleaned herself up when they made it to the hospital, trailing the ambulance. There was still blood on her clothes in spots, and she stared at those spots with a laser-like concentration. Nicholas sat down next to her but did not say anything. Danny went straight into surgery and that was over two hours ago. He took only one shot, but it apparently ripped through a major artery and some bone, and the surgeons were taking their own sweet time about patching him up. Nicholas appreciated that, of course, but his stomach was so knotted that he just wanted to scream at the whole hospital staff to hurry the fuck up.
Liz got up and stood by the soda machine. Turner, who had been looking intently at his hands, looked from her to Nicholas, the expression on his face plain as he raised his eyebrows questioningly. Nicholas nodded, and Turner got up and left. Nicholas still wondered how that man seemed to know everything about everyone, and not for the first time, decided that the twins were not just psychically linked with each other, but everyone else too.
Nicholas got up and stood next to her. It felt as if the only safe place in the whole hospital right now was next to her.
“I’m sorry, Nicholas.”
“For what, Liz? You caught the gunman.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
Nicholas nodded, not really understanding why she was so upset about what was, in the main, a very heroic deed. He wanted to say something wise and ‘police officer-like’, such as “bad men get what they deserve” but he did not think it would be received well. He nodded again, wondering if it would be okay to touch her. He really wanted her to hold him. He really wanted to feel like everything was going to be okay.
“...You know why Danny was in the store?” She switched the topic and turned to face him, tears forming in her eyes. Nicholas just shook his head, with no idea of where she was going with this.
“To buy a cornetto?” He offered.
“To talk to me. He wanted…wants me to talk to you about Chuck Norris.” She started to cry.
Nicholas reached out and gently tried to pull her into him, but she resisted, and he was crushed. Danny was hurt and Liz did not want him, even now as she cried in front of him she did not want him to touch her, and Nicholas turned to rest his head against the soda machine. It was solid, and while it might not hold him up, it was cold plastic and metal and it felt right to fall down next to it and cry.
It never occurred to her that Danny might die, that any of them might be gone forever, and the shock of it wrung her out like a towel. She talked to Danny nearly every day in her mind, shared jokes with him, watched movies with him, and sometimes even made love to him. As distant as she made herself from the actual person, it felt to her as if he was integral to her survival in Sandford. She needed Danny, and she did not want to need anyone.
Nicholas was on the ground as she thought this, as she cried, and he was clutching himself in misery. He was crying, and he had not even looked broken until she shoved him off, and it occurred to her that he had not reached out to comfort her, but to find comfort from her. She pushed him back, not wanting his sympathy or his body, but really needing both and that was what annoyed her enough to reject him. Now he was on the floor, alone, and she knew exactly how that felt; only now she was doing to someone else, and she was the monster, but she could not live with that and accept that it was what she had become.
She sat down and wrapped her arms around his torso. She moved her hands to rest on his chest, and felt through her hands his heaving sobs, and tightened her hold just enough to bring her body in next to his, completely flush together. As many fantasies as she had about Nicholas too, this did not feel sexual at all to her, just natural, like any hug with Geo or…she couldn’t think of anyone else. Two people who needed each other, two people wracked with grief and worry for Danny, and it was all normal and right and so very, very foreign to her. She was scared of what she was feeling, scared it would all go wrong, but she wanted to be here so badly that she could not bring herself to let go.
Eventually Nicholas’ breathing evened out and she stopped crying too, and he rolled over so that they were sitting together in silence, wrapped around each other, frozen in worry and love for Danny. Waiting.
“Inspector?”
They both pulled apart and stood up, wordlessly, and faced the doctor.
“Yes?”
Nicholas sat her down on his couch. Their relief at Danny’s successful operation was offset by the absolute, crushing exhaustion they felt. He went to put some water for tea on and then came back. She had not moved.
“He’s stable, so we’re in the clear. He’ll be in the hospital for a few days.”
“Just a few days?”
“This really isn’t anywhere near as serious as his last gunshot wound. He was in the hospital for three weeks that time, and off duty for nearly three months.”
“Yes, he told me about that…once.” She put her head in her hands.
Nicholas sat down next to her. “I know how you feel.” He said it softly and began rubbing her neck and shoulders.
“How do I feel?” She asked blankly, automatically.
“Actually, I don’t know, Liz. You always shut me out.”
She nodded, not bothering to argue. “How do you feel, then?”
“I love him. And life would be…meaningless without him.” Nicholas looked off towards the back of the house, not really looking at anything, and missed her pulling her head up.
“Nicholas…” She nearly choked on his name. Instinctively, without thinking, he leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips, then sat back, rubbing her shoulders again. She never moved.
“I think we both need sleep more than tea.” He got up and went to turn the water off. When he came back, she was shifting around on the couch.
“D’you mind if I stay here? In case…you know, they call…” She picked up a pillow to place against the armrest.
“I don’t mind at all, Liz. But I do mind you sleeping on the couch.”
“Oh?” She sat up abruptly, confused. “Oh, right. You have a guest room?”
“No, I have a bedroom.”
She froze, and looked angry. “I don’t think that this is really the time…”
“You’re right. It’s not the time. But I don’t want to sleep alone, and I don’t think you do either.” Nicholas spoke very casually, and very honestly. He meant it, because he was just too tired to make any moves on her anyway. He only wanted her next to him, and damnit, he was going to get what he wanted today.
He took her hand and gently pulled her up and along. She did not argue or resist, but he did feel her hesitate with nearly every step, and she stopped cold at the bedroom door. He thought he was going to have to coax her every inch of the way, and turned to face her.
“That his?” She pointed to a jacket draped over a small chair in the corner of the room. Nicholas did a double take.
“Yes, it is.”
She pulled away from him and went to over to the chair, gently picking up the jacket and holding it to her face. “It smells like him.”
“I suppose it would.”
She sat down on the edge of the bed and slipped off her shoes. Nicholas got her to stand up long enough for him to pull the covers back, and they crawled in together, fully dressed, facing each other, with Danny’s jacket between them. And Nicholas’ was pleased when that was how they woke up in the morning.
Nothing was normal to Liz any more. Nicholas’ admission of his love for Danny undid part of her, because it was honest and she knew how deep it ran between them. Maybe Nicholas kissed her because he thought she felt the same way, but she did not. She said his name without thinking about it, because it hurt so badly to think of how much they loved each other, and how no one loved her. His kiss was kind but meaningless, and only made her feel worse, and she was incredibly relieved when he did not make a pass at her later in bed. She might have fucked him then, just for the stress relief of it, but it would have only rubbed salt in the wound, reminding her of everything that was not hers.
That morning, when they woke together, he ran his hand over the side of her face, cupping her cheek and running his thumb over her lips. She braced herself, but the invitation never arrived. He leaned over, kissed her on the forehead, and got out of bed to call the hospital and check on Danny.
She got up and laid Danny’s jacket back on the chair, where he left it, and where she wanted him to find it again when he came back. The thought flashed in her mind that when he did, the guys would be whole again, and she would be alone again, this brief respite from her damnation over, and everything back to normal. The prospect filled her with despair, but she shook herself and went into the bathroom to rinse off her face.
They went to the hospital together. Danny was out of ICU and asleep, tubes and bags hanging off him. Liz felt it was completely inappropriate to see him like that, naked and ill, but Nicholas simply rested against the bed’s restraint bars, gazing down with a kind but inscrutable expression.
“So does he look…?”
“No where near as bad as the last time, Liz.” Nicholas never looked away from Danny’s sleeping form and his attention drifted away from her. She looked back at Danny and ran her hand through his hair. It was oily and slick but she did not care. She rubbed her thumb against his cheek and over his lips and he mumbled something known only to himself; she pulled back in surprise and worry. She looked between the two men for a moment, and walked out.
Later she sat in her office, determined to write something, and obstinately doing no such thing. The day crawled; many people called her office in lieu of the police station, which was not accepting social calls, in order to find out Danny’s condition. She spent most of her time reassuring half the village that Danny was in recovery, doing fine, and yes, of course Inspector Angel was at the hospital with him. She was amazed at how many people took that for granted, and it dawned on her that Danny and Nicholas’ relationship was undoubtedly the worst kept secret in the village. Realizing that she must have been the last to know, she sighed at her obvious lack of finely honed investigative skills and finally poured herself a drink. It was almost noon, anyway, close enough. She slugged it and quickly poured another. A few more, she thought, and she would not remember the feel of Nicholas in her arms, or the feel of Danny’s lips against her thumb, or the feel of all the blood on her hands.
Eventually, she sat down at the computer in order to start writing the story. I must to be in the next issue, or the paper lost all credibility. She determined that 2500 words would have to suffice for a lead story, and settled on “Botched Robby Leads to Shooting” for a headline. She made room for it by bumping two smaller clips about cow breeding and moving the former lead story about the new AmDram director to the second page. Now all that was left was to actually write the 2500 words. She was saved by the bell.
When Nicholas left the hospital that afternoon, somehow losing his whole morning and Liz as well in his reverie by Danny’s bedside, he headed straight to the station. The perpetrator was in isolation and lock down and the Andes were standing guard, apparently hoping that the bastard would make a break for it so they could beat him to death. Tony was madly writing a book’s worth of documentation about the event, and Doris was up with both the Turners keeping people at bay at the front desk, answering questions. That Danny would get shot twice in as many years had the whole village in hysterics, and several times Nicholas himself went to the front to calm down someone going off the deep end in grief or fear. Danny was nothing if not beloved by Sandford, and while it was touching, it was just damned inconvenient for Nicholas right now.
Finally evening arrived and they locked the doors, over 24 hours later from the time of the incident. They were all exhausted to the point of speechlessness. Tony submitted his report, all nineteen pages, and Walker magically produced a case of hard cider from Nicholas-did-not-know-where. They all knew they could not possibly go to the pub without being mobbed, so they changed clothes in the locker rooms and then came back to sit down in the main room and drink. The Andes even joined in, and Nicholas was glad they were somewhat subdued for once. He had one can of cider, called the hospital to check on Danny (stable, and still asleep) and with a strong and sincere complement to his team, left them to their own business.
He walked into Liz’ office and found her bent over her desk, her head resting on her arms. For a brief moment he thought she was asleep but the bell above the door brought her head up on the second ring as the door closed.
“Liz.” He nodded to her as he pulled up a chair next to the desk. “How are you?”
“Too tired for all the work I’ve done.” She motioned around her bare desk, then reached out to align the post notes pad with the tape dispenser, but her motions were sloppy. She was drunk. He looked over at where she kept the bottle of vodka on the filing cabinet, and realized that it was nearly empty.
“Not that drunk. Bugger. I’ve been pacing.” She snorted and leaned back, and for a second Nicholas was disturbingly reminded of Andrew.
“You unplugged the phone.” Nicholas reached down and picked up the end of the line, shaking it ruefully.
“It was off the chain.” She smiled, then looked down. “How is he?”
“About the same as we…I left him. You snuck out on me at the hospital. I intended to drive you in.”
She shrugged. “That’s what taxis are for.”
“Why did you leave us, Liz?”
Startled by the way he put the question, she just shook her head at first, then sighed. “I didn’t belong there…with you, next to him. I…needed to come in to work anyway. He’s alright, that’s all I need to know.” She pushed the tape dispenser into the middle of desk, leaving it cockeyed, glaring at it.
Nicholas nodded absently, tapping his fingers on the desk. This was exactly what he did not want to happen, for her to think that, somehow, she was not wanted. That she was not needed. She seemed to know he was not pleased.
“Look, Nicholas, thank you for taking care of me last night. I was a wreck. You were a gentleman. And…a friend.”
Nicholas moved out of the chair so that he was on his knees next to her. She looked startled and nervous, and he wondered if there was anything at all that he could do right in the situation. Probably not. With that in mind, he stuck to his original plan, reached a hand up behind her neck, and pulled her lips to his.
It was as electric and scary as he dreamed it would be. Her lips were softer than anything he ever remembered about women. She did not respond, just sat still, which under the circumstances Nicholas counted as a triumph. He drew her in a bit more, making the kiss firmer and harder, and parted his lips just enough to run the tip of his tongue over her mouth, which opened just a little for him. He felt rather than heard her low moan, then suddenly felt her hands on his chest, pushing him back.
“Damnit, Liz!” He slapped his hands on his thighs and screwed his eyes shut in frustration. When he opened them, he saw she was sitting facing forward, her arms crossed, and visibly shaking. “What is it? Why don’t you want…this?”
She took a deep breath before answering. “It’s not the sex, it’s you.”
He ran a hand over his face, perplexed. He possessed the barest idea of what this was about, based on the fight he overheard her having with Geo so long ago, but really, he did not understand. If she really did not care, if he really was not wanted, she would not have knelt on the floor at the hospital and held on to him. She was crying too, then, and he remembered the feel of her against him, open and raw and loving. He wanted that, and he simply could not understand why she did not want that too.
“You’re scared? Of me? Danny? I know we carried things a bit too far, That Night, but don’t think…”
“It was beautiful.”
He stopped, utterly confused. “What was?”
“You. Danny. Here. It was just amazing. It was more than I can ever give. You two love each other so much…trust each other. I know, it was rough, and Danny…well he was upset. But he was so driven because he needed you so much, and you trusted him the whole way down. I can’t do that, Nicholas. I…can’t.”
“You can’t trust me?” He was completely taken aback by that, because he considered himself one of the most trustworthy people he knew.
“Don’t take it personally.” She laughed, but was a malicious sound.
“I do.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Nicholas, leave me alone.”
“No. Why should I?”
“Because I asked you to? Seems like a good reason.”
He remained on his knees next to her, but he was confused. Her signals were so mixed, so wrong, that he simply did not know what to do. He thought she would know, but even if she did, she was purposefully pushing him away, yet again.
“You keep pushing me away, Liz, and someday I won’t come back.” He said it quietly, staring at the ground, unused to this type of rejection and emotionally whipped by the events of the last day.
“I don’t want to be alone.” She said it defensively, and he looked at her. She was staring straight ahead. “I don’t want to feel like this. I never wanted that, or any of this. It wasn’t my fault…it just happened…”
“Nothing’s your fault, Liz.”
She looked at him, surprised. “Right…right.” She stopped and shifted. “What do you want from me?”
“I just want you.” He said it simply, because beyond that, he was not sure.
“And Danny?”
“I’m pretty sure he wants you too.” He smiled.
“Nice to be wanted.”
“…I want you, Liz.”
She did not retreat when he took hold of her upper arms. He drew her out of the chair and as she moved he reached up to kiss her neck. He wrapped his arms around her and lowered her to the floor. He was not going to give her a chance to back out this time, and moved his mouth over hers to still any objections.
He rolled on top of her and felt her hands on his back, her kiss growing stronger in answer to his. Something of his worry and fear of the last two days welled up inside him and he pushed his body onto hers, feeling himself start to shake from nerves and anxiety. He had not, at first, intended to make this any more than a long make-out session, a gentle introduction for her to his love and passion. But his emotions about Danny and his fear of losing him again collided with his long suppressed desire for her and his fear of losing her too. It was a dangerous moment, and he knew that if she accepted this from him, it would be a bond neither of them could break easily.
He felt her legs part slightly and he rested his left leg in between them. His arms were propping himself up just a little, but his hands were able to roam over her face and through her hair. He rolled his hip lightly into her and she groaned into their kiss. She tasted of mint and he sent his tongue deeper into the sweetness of her. That, he thought distantly, was just like Danny.
Once again, they did not get undressed. But he felt her hands searching his body, pushing and pulling and testing. His hard on was pressed into the crevice of her thigh, his hip planted firmly against her sex. He rolled his hip again and this time, her body answered back, pushing into his rhythm. The fabric of their clothes burned a little from the friction, but it was warm and exciting. Keeping his lips on hers, Nicholas arched his back and pulled himself up so that he was rubbing both of them with a long, hard stroke. She cried out and he did it again, and then again, and then lost count as they moved against each other in a steadily frantic rhythm.
Finally he had to breathe, to moan, and broke the kiss. He looked at her but her eyes were closed, and she was breathing heavily through her mouth.
“Nick…”
“Liz?” He breathed into her ear.
“Ghod, Nick, do you do this to Danny?”
He was caught off guard by the question and nearly stopped. Her eyes flicked onto his and he pushed himself against her again. “Sometimes.”
“Like this?”
“Yes.”
“Harder than this?”
He held off answering for a second. “Usually, yes.”
She reached up to put her lips against his ear, and he felt the warmth radiating off her. “Like Danny, Nicholas. I want to feel like Danny.”
It was more than he needed to send him on. He changed his position so he could hold her upper arms – he always had to brace Danny as much as he could, because damnit the man could buck – and then used his leg to get her to hook hers over his, so they were entwined. It was his classic dry fuck position with Danny, and it was familiar, but it was a new smell and a new weight working against him. Still, he knew what to do, and he did it: he ground himself into her, working his strokes so that cock rubbed into her sex. It was different to feel the area give against him, instead of feeling an answering, hard erection, but that fact itself turned him on. It was the same; it was completely different. He began hammering against her and discovered that she, too, could put up a fight and they were grinding each other into oblivion. He really wanted her to come first, he wanted to give her that, but it did not happen as his moment snuck up on him and took him down.
“Liz! Ghod Liz, yes yes yesyesyes!” He cried out, pressing his mouth into her shoulder. And just as it began to fade for him he felt her tense, and cry out, a nameless word on her lips as she gasped for air and her hips rammed him painfully.
They lay together in silence, hands gently running over each other’s bodies, but Nicholas still felt like she held out something from him, that for all this and how he felt and what he knew she desperately wanted, she was closed to him. He knew he made a mistake, and now he did not know how to fix it, and he knew she was not going to let him even if he did.
He tried to get her to leave with him, but she refused. It was genuine truth that she needed to write the story that night so it could be fact-checked in the morning and the paper put to bed by 2pm, the absolute latest she could FTP the files to the printer.
She also needed time to figure out how to stop this. Her experience with Nicholas was fantastic fully-dressed-sex, and she could not fault his technique. But it was not lost on her that she really liked him. Loved him? No, she was not ready to think like that, if ever.
Worse, she could have stopped it, but she did not want to at the time. She wanted it to be real, not just fucking on the floor, but that required an emotional leap she was unable to make. He would never know, and in fact he probably would not believe, that in the moment she said that she wanted to feel like Danny, she was not talking about sex. She wanted to needed like that, she wanted to trust like that, and she was as close as she had been in years to actually allowing herself to believe it was possible. She could not really say that, though, and the sex took over, and when she pushed him off afterwards she simply wanted to be alone again, and he knew it. He asked her to leave with him, and she heard the desperation in his voice, but she shut him out, because in the end that was the only safe thing she could do.
Working on the story took all of her attention, and it was a familiar, blissful oblivion. She would deal with Nicholas…no, Inspector Angel…later.
Danny sat in the hospital bed, confused and annoyed. He still felt a little hazy but he was well enough to be discharged the next day, and he was excited about that more than anything. He told Nicholas that he really looked forward to watching Chuck Norris movies with him and Liz when they got home, and that’s when Nicholas got very uptight.
“You scared her off?”
“That wasn’t my plan.”
“But y’did.”
“Yes. I did.” Nicholas sighed and slapped bed’s restraining bars.
“Whot y’do, then?”
Nicholas pursed his lips and Danny laughed. “Y’kissed her!”
“What? How?...” Nicky’s look of horror was pure amusement to Danny.
“C’mon, Nickyyyy. That’s what we been planning all along, in‘nit?”
“Is it?”
“I thought so.” Danny frowned.
“Maybe…maybe it’s wrong, Danny. We…shouldn’t need anyone else.” Nicholas spoke, but did not look at him.
“Don’ see why not.”
Startled, Nicholas looked at him. “Well, because…because…”
“She’s interesting an’ fun. We both like her. Soooo…”
“I think she’s bit more complicated than that.”
“An’ that’s why you like her.”
Nicholas stared at him. “Yes.” He felt himself change in that answer, a deep disconnection like a small seismic shift that answered a desperate need but rattled him. He kept his face clear and it was not something he could explain to anyone, much less Danny, but it was the breaking of the shield inside him that protected himself, protected everyone, from desire. It was dangerous to want anything too much, he learned that a long time ago, and he channeled his life into wanting to be a the best police officer alive because he did not have to rely on anyone but himself to make it happen, but now that was not enough. Not for Danny, not for Liz, and not for himself. He did not know what would be enough, in fact, and that is what really scared the hell out of him, because he desperately wanted Danny to be enough for him, even as he knew that he was not.
“I’m afraid you have to.”
“Inspector Angel, I understand that Danny wants to see me. I even visited him the hospital several times, didn’t I?”
“Always with great care to ensure that I was not present at the time, yes.”
Angel stood formally in the middle of her office with his hat under his arm. He had been back a few times since their encounter, but after enough cold shoulders, he stopped. Now, nearly a month later, Danny had been home for over a week and Liz was purposefully not visiting him there. She frowned.
“No.”
“You want me to beg?”
“As sexy as that sounds, no. I don’t want you to do anything other than leave.”
Angel remained stiff and severe looking, but took one step closer. “He wants to see you.”
“I don’t care. Piss off.”
“You’re lying.”
“Not your problem.”
“He almost died. We were crying on the floor of the hospital for him. You slept with his jacket that night. So you’re lying, and yes, that is my problem.”
She leaned back. “Why are you pushing me?”
“Because I care about you.”
She stared him. Nice words, it always started with nice words, and a feeling of deep and utter disgust roiled inside of her, but at the same moment she was gripped by a flush of desperate need. She wanted those words to be true.
“Why do you find that so hard to believe? For ghod’s sake, Liz, what happened that was so terrible that you can’t even allow yourself to care about us?”
She wanted him, she wanted him to care, and he said he did, and she wanted to believe that Danny did too. There was no bar high enough for them to pass, though, nothing they could do to prove what she needed to believe, and it came down to taking a risk. Now, or later, or never, but a choice had to be made, and it was only hers to make. She swore she would never live in fear again but was the fear of being alone forever any different than the fear of being hurt? Was it fair to punish herself for what someone else did to her years ago? Was it even right to live in self-imposed punishment for an act of justice?
“Tell Danny I’ll visit. For dinner. But I won’t stay late.”
“I won’t be there, so you know.”
“Why not? He’s your boyfriend.”
“He’s your friend.” Nicholas nodded, put his hat back on and left.
Danny made sure not to mess up things the way Nicholas did. It was a shame that someone as smart as Nicholas always got people wrong, but he supposed that was why they were such good partners, so they could help each other with their bad spots. Sometimes he just wanted to shove Nicholas around, make him do things the right way, because as perfect as Nicholas was on the job, he really had a brilliant way of screwing the rest of his life up. Danny felt he was mostly catching the runoff and not stopping the downpour but he did what he could.
In this case, it meant trying to crack Liz. Not in a bad way, of course, but she was a beautiful mystery and like Nicholas she had a hard, weathered exterior to her soul. Danny loved that, even if he did not understand the kind of life that led to it. Nicholas pushed everyone away because he was scared of himself; Liz pushed everyone away because she was scared of god only knows what. Danny could barely imagine doing either and found it unbearably romantic, kind of like Chow Yun Fat’s character in The Replacement Killers. Or Leon. Or maybe ………
Danny loved Nicholas and he suspected he could fall in love with Liz; it would be so wonderful if Liz and Nicholas found some common ground with each other. They had before, for a while, and there was the physical attraction; but Liz wielded that like a machete and Nicholas was bad at emotional intimacy so they collided and crashed. Nicholas told him everything of what happened between him and Liz at her office, when Danny was in the hospital, and Danny was not happy that Nicholas did anything without asking first but he did not feel it was right for him to say anything about it. Nicholas was already paying the price of being completely shut out of Liz’ world anyway.
Danny planned nothing more than Chinese (delivered), cider, and a good movie, something girly like Long Kiss Goodnight. He was not planning on talking about things much, and certainly not hitting on her. No, what was needed was some good old fashioned ‘turning off’ action, relaxing and comfortable and friendly.
“I love this movie. She gets beat to shit.”
“She’s the hero, you aren’t supposed to like that, Liz.”
“No, I mean, she takes a beating and keeps on fighting and actually looks like she’s been in a fight. Not like those stupid Charlie’s Angels who never smear their lipstick.”
“Never thought of it that way. I guess it’s easy to smear lipstick in a fight.”
“It’s easy to smear lipstick any time of the day or night. It’s a nightmare.”
“Looks good, though.”
“Harumph.”
Danny leaned back thoughtfully, considering the problems of being an action hero wearing lipstick. Did seem kind of too much trouble.
“Danny?”
“Hm? Oh, lipstick…”
“No, no, just….”
“What?”
“You and Inspector Angel do seem rather…insistent.”
“We like you. Any reason why we shouldn’t?”
“I can think of a few, yes.”
“Like?”
“I’m a slut?”
Danny was not used to having put to him quite that honestly, and he blinked his eyes. “So you, you know, fool around?”
“Something like that.” Liz smiled.
“On your boyfriend?”
“No. Not in a relationship. I mean…I’m not in a relationship, and haven’t been in one for…a long time. So instead I just, you know, get around.”
“Makes sense.”
“Uh huh.”
“But if you were in a relationship…”
“You are not very subtle, are you?”
“I wasn’ saying with me…”
“I don’t know. I’d try to be, well, faithful. I mean if it was worth it to me. It’s all about trust, Danny.”
“You trust me?”
“I’m here. You have no idea the level of trust that entails.”
“What?”
“….Yes, I trust you.”
She only agreed to meet with Inspector Angel for lunch again because Danny was so disappointed when she first refused. She also refused to doing movie night more than once a week, believing it the best way to stay out of Danny and Inspector Angel’s relationship. Despite Danny’s best – or worst, depending on the level of criteria used to judge – efforts to convince her that they really really cared about her ‘that way,’ she was only up to the point of being friends with Danny. That was enough, and she thought it should be enough for Danny, but he never once said anything but the honest truth to her about his intentions to ‘date’ her, and for her ‘date’ Nicholas, and while it was endearing and refreshingly straightforward, it was very damned annoying.
The lunches with Inspector Angel were much, much worse.
“You won’t ever call me by my name again, will you.” He said it sadly, pushing his fork around in the pudding.
“I just think some formality between us might be best.”
He sighed, looked to the heavens, and then leaned forward, placing his chin on his folded hands.
“I fucked you, you know.”
Floored, Liz just stared at him. It was true and they both knew it but it was not the type of thing she could ever imagine coming out of his mouth. The look of shock on her face was apparently what he was waiting for, though.
“Liz, I appreciate the distance you are trying to maintain, but I do not see what good it is doing either of us. Danny wants us to be friends, and you and I have been unpardonably inmate. You can pretend that we mean nothing to each other but I, for one, don’t believe it for a minute.” He released his hands, picked up his fork, and concentrated on his food again, not waiting for a reply.
“Nicholas should be here, Danny. It’s not really fair of you to kick him out every time we watch movies together.”
“He’s used to it.” Danny, who never tried Indian food before Liz started bringing it to their movie nights, was sopping up the chicken tandoori with the last of the paneer nan.
“But doesn’t he like Shanghai Noon?”
“Not really.” He chewed and watched the movie.
“I thought he said he did.”
“Gawww. Not.”
“But Danny…”
“Shhh.” He wiped his hands and settled closer to her on the couch.
The first time they kissed it was nothing like the mad passion of seduction she was used to. In fact it was a good night kiss, mostly innocent on all counts. But it was a kiss, and not so innocent as to be ‘brotherly’ or ‘friendly’ if only because Danny snaked his tongue out in the final moment to run it over her lips. She looked at him severely and he grinned and laughed and she ended up smiling anyway, shaking her head.
“You know Danny kissed me last night.”
“Oh yes. He really enjoyed it too, by all reports.”
Liz stared at him. “By all reports?”
“Officially.” Nicholas nodded with a sly grin, sipping his cranberry juice.
“Officially, you two have ganged up on me at this point, Nicholas.” Liz sighed and pushed her plate away.
“You can’t claim innocence.”
“I don’t. I just claim the right of refusal.”
He looked at her. “What did I do now?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“Usually women break up with me after we’ve started dating.”
“According to Mrs. Cooper at the bookshop we are as good as engaged.”
“There you go, then.” He laughed. “Seriously, Liz, if you aren’t interested, then just stop visiting Danny. Don’t join me for lunch. As long as you do, Danny will think he’s got a chance.”
“So this is all about Danny?”
Nicholas looked at the table, blushing slightly, but looking moody. “I pushed things with you when we were both vulnerable and I know you don’t trust me because of it.”
“That? No, that has nothing to do with it.” She understood why he would think that, but it really was not fair to let him beat himself up over it. Enjoyable, but not fair. “Anyway, don’t you feel a bit weird setting up your boyfriend with someone else?”
“Maybe it’s not all about Danny.”
“So you dating both of them?”
“Not sure.”
“Oi, don’t be coy wit’ me, girl.”
“I don’t know, Geo. It’s just so odd.”
“Not like you ain’t done a threeway.”
“Not like you didn’t set that up, if I remember correctly.”
“It was your thirtieth birthday! I couldn’ afford the Jimmy Choos.”
“Threeways are cheaper then a pair of Choos?”
“They are if they owe you.”
Liz shook her head. “I feel so special now.”
“I feel so left out.”
“Come visit, then.”
“We been over dis.”
“Okay, fine.”
“You goin’ to give these boys a break?”
“It’s not about the sex, Geo.”
“Thank fuck for that. I was wondering when you would become human again.”
“Shut up, Geo.”
For a change, it was all three of them sitting together. There did not seem anything peculiar to that, and Danny was pleased. They were at Liz’ office, and it was ostensibly ‘after work’ although for Liz that seemed like a flexible definition.
“Soooo…cattle rustling.” She look disbelievingly between the two of them.
“Yes.” Nicholas nodded.
“No, weren’t that. You two…” Danny shook his head. They looked at him. “The Brown’s been tradin’ cattle with the Reapers since ‘fore God.”
“Then why did they file rustling charges?” Nicholas stared at him.
“Young Joe there just got a temper on ‘im. Bet the Andes ‘misplace’ the paperwork by ‘morning.”
“They certainly better not!” Nicholas looked appalled.
“Better that than a showdown. Last time the Browns and Reapers went at it, four barns burned down.”
“Good god! When was that?” Nicholas sat back in horror.
“Ohhhh…hmmm…1873? No, was that in ’32…?” Danny tried to remember, but suspected he was confusing the dates with the Great Pub Riot of ’51…or ‘32. “Dunno, I guess. But you don’t want to rile them on it.”
Liz nodded knowingly but Nicholas just looked blank. City boys, Danny thought with amusement.
“Then we’ll just leave it out of the paper until a barn burns down.” She clicked and shut down the window on the screen. “No point in starting a feud. Got like that once back home, some sheep went missing for a whole week.”
“Oooo….” Danny gasped.
“I know! Nothing to it, of course, but it was down to pitchforks before it was done.”
“Sheep okay?”
“Psychologically traumatized: they were kept in a basement below the butcher shop the whole time. Poor dears.”
Danny nodded in sympathy for the poor terrorized sheep – those monsters, to put them below the butcher! -- but Nicholas looked back and forth between them.
“You are all insane.”
Liz laughed. “I’ve been called worse.”
“So no story? So we get movie night, then?” Danny went back to the important topic.
“Oh, well, I guess so.” Liz said, surprised, and looked at Nicholas.
“I need to get home and...”
“You watered Lily last night. You’re comin’ to movie night.” Danny sniffed.
“Um….”
“S’okay, Nicholas. I don’t mind.” Liz said neutrally, and Danny knew she might not be entirely happy with it, but she was the one who brought up letting Nicholas join them last week. They left Liz to shut down her office and she said she would be there by seven, with dinner. Nicholas trailed Danny outside on the street.
“You sure about this, Danny? She’s still not very comfortable with me around.”
“She could always say no.”
“Yes, I told her that.” Nicholas said, and Danny looked over at him.
“You would! Dummy. No, she needs to get used to both of us together.”
“You really think you have this planned out, don’t you?”
Danny stopped and looked at him. “One of us has to, an’ you jus’ messed it up last time, yeah?”
Nicholas looked down ashamed, and Danny felt bad so he slapped him on the shoulder. “If she don’t show, then we know my plan’s no good, yeah? So com’on.”
Nicholas was not there when she arrived, and she suspected he might not show at all, and she was uncertain if that pleased her or not. Danny greeted her with a kiss, and she gave a half-hearted attempt to kiss back, but it still felt terribly too personal for a friendship. She kicked herself, thinking that she needed to decide what she wanted, and if that was not Danny, then she better just leave and go down to the pub for some action.
She did not leave, of course, and she tried not to think about the implications of that.
Nicholas was outrageously nervous, and just kept repeating to himself that it was just movie night…movie night…movie night. Anyway, when it came to Liz, Danny was proving to be the master tactician and there was no choice but to follow his lead.
He arrived just past eight, having dithered in uncertainty for over an hour. He brought some lager and was heading to the kitchen when he saw that every square inch of the coffee table and several moving boxes were covered in Indian food. Spicy, incredibly hot and aromatic Indian food.
“You do this every week?” Nicholas asked in shock.
“Ohhh it’s good, Nicky! Really! Try the aloo palak! It don’t got any meat, neither.” Danny waved a heaping plate of food at him.
“No thank you.” He went and put the lager in the icebox and came back to find both Liz and Danny stuffing themselves.
“It’s not bad. Being there is only one Indian place in town, we’re kind of limited on choice. But their nan is to die for.” Liz called from the couch, chewing.
“Right.”
“So…ConAir or Air Force One?” Danny pointed at the TV. Grimacing, Nicholas picked up ConAir and put it on.
“Good one, Nicky! Liz thinks Cage is sexyyy.”
She punched Danny in the arm and Nicholas laughed.
Nicholas carefully watched them out the corner of his eye as the movies rolled past him. Liz was technically between them, but Nicholas shoved himself into the far armrest as much as possible, and she was curled up next to Danny with his arm around her so that the middle of the couch was empty. Later, after a few lagers, he saw Danny start running his hand up and down her arm in a casual way, but there was no way she did not register what he was doing. Nicholas doubted it was planned, though, and for all he knew it was what Danny did every time she was next to him. But to him it was a new and erotic touch to observe, and his hard on come on immediately. He pulled his legs up and curled into himself.
“You okay?” Liz looked over.
“Yes, just a leg cramp.” He made a show of massaging his calf.
She stretch out like a cat, her arms over her head, reaching over the back of the couch, while her legs pushed out across the floor, arching her back, her eyes closed. “I know, it gets crampy on this couch sometimes.”
Danny was watching her delightedly, and looked over at Nicholas with glee, as if he were the luckiest man on earth to have this woman stretching her back next to him. Nicholas broke out into a sweat and wondered what the hell he was doing here.
“You sure you’re okay, Nicholas?” She sat up and looked at him. “You’re sweating.”
“Stop the movie.” It was a command, in Nicholas’ best I’m-the-Inspector voice, and Danny obeyed it immediately.
“Liz, I’m sorry, but I…can’t just…be here.”
“Nicky!” Danny pouted.
“No, damnit. This isn’t working.”
“Nicky…” Danny’s voice turned to a warning tone.
Liz sat on the edge of the couch, nearly facing backwards, looking between them. At her glance, Danny cast his eyes down.
“Look, Liz, please understand. I need you to understand.” Nicholas unwound himself, his rush of desire gone, and rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans.
“Understand what?” Her voice was low, and dangerous, and Nicholas was reminded of himself.
“I love you.”
Danny’s head snapped up and stared at him, surprised, but not upset as Nicholas feared. Just surprised.
“Nicholas.” Liz squinted, displeased with the admission.
“You always say it’s not about sex, and it isn’t. I love Danny, and you know that, but…I want this. All of this.” He waved his arm around the room, indicating them and the food and the movie and just…them. He knew he was explaining it poorly and looked at Danny in desperation, but Danny did not react, and Nicholas floundered.
“What do you want me to say, Nicholas?” Liz asked quietly, and he sighed in relief, because he knew the answer to this.
“That you’ll trust us enough to give us a chance.”
“Things like this…get dangerous sometimes.”
Danny squinted in confusion, and Nicholas did not fully understand, but it was her history and he would not argue about something he did not know anything about.
“I can only promise to do my best not to hurt you.”
She turned around and face the TV. Danny reached up and tentatively rubbed her back, and she did not move away. Nicholas, on the other hand, was frozen to his seat.
“Danny?”
“Yeah, Liz. It’s be nice if you gave us a break.” Danny shrugged and put his hand on her knee. “I love you too, Liz. Don’cha know that?”
Nicholas expected her to explode, but instead she just sat still, staring at the couch.
“Don’y love us, Lizzie?” Danny leaned in. He said it as if it were a normal thing to ask, as if to him, of course she should love them both.
“I don’t know how that feels anymore. I forgot about it a long time ago. I just don’t know.”
Nicholas nearly shrieked in frustration. “Damnit, Liz! Of course you know! You know! How could you not know? We’ve waited fucking months for you!”
Her mouth dropped open in shock, and even Danny looked taken aback.
“You think this is just to fuck you? Are you blind?” Nicholas felt like throttling her. “This isn’t about that! This is about you. You! I…we want you, and not just like that! We want you here.” He pointed at the couch. Unable to stay seated, he got up and paced the room, then walked back and sat down right next to her. She and Danny were holding their breath. He put his hands on her thighs gently, although he felt himself shaking.
“Liz, don’t shut us out. Don’t think that we won’t be here in the morning. Don’t believe whatever fucked up ideas you’ve had about sex or love or me. Listen to Danny.”
Danny was surprised to be put on the spot, but rallied. “Lizzie, can’t we all be together? Like we are now?” He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head against the back of her shoulder.
If something cracked in her, Nicholas did not hear it, but she reached her hands up and took his face in them. They sat like that for a moment, then she pulled him in to her mouth and kissed him in a way unlike she had before, the night they kissed at her office. It was hot and desperate and languid, and he leaned into her, his hands tightening their grip on her thighs. It felt like it lasted forever, but he was brought out of the moment by the feeling of someone, of Danny’s, hand running over the hard on in his pants. Her hands were still on his face, and with the realization that both of them were touching him, needing him, desiring him, he felt overcome with a raging passion.
Liz had no words left. It did seem obvious to her that she loved them both, but it was such a risk, such a huge leap of faith, that it always felt beyond anything she could be allowed to hope for. She played with fire, knowing that at some point Danny would try to do more than kiss her and she would not have the willpower to stop him, because it was really what she was waiting for, despite her inconsistent protests.
When Nicholas said he loved her, she knew she was well and truly in over her head, a terrifying place to be. There was no way she could have either man without the other, and no way they would accept anything less from her than…everything. To give them that was to turn her back on the fear and the shame and the anger, the parts that sometimes she felt kept her alive and sometimes felt were destroying her.
It wasn’t Nicholas’ partially thought out logic that broke her. It was Danny, his arms around her waist, asking for them to just all be together. It was such a straightforward request that it felt insane to say no.
She reached up to hold Nicholas’ face, and sensed his skin temperature rise instantly. She brought him to her lips and kissed him in exactly the way she dreamed of so many times, the way she refused to do the night on the floor of her office. They kissed and she pulled gently against Danny’s arms, just to feel their weight. One arm moved off her and she felt Danny lean forward a bit. She did not know what he was doing until Nicholas sucked in a gasp of air, breaking their kiss. She still held his face in her hands and she studied him, noticing Danny’s arm reaching across her into the darkness between Nicholas’ legs. His other arm slowly dragged her closer to him, then pulled her onto his leg so she was straddling it, her back against his chest. Her arms were extended, still holding Nicholas’ face, which was contorted with his eyes closed in pleasure, Danny stroking his obvious hard on through his pants. He finally opened his eyes and Liz shuddered.
This was sex, and it was familiar, but the look in Nicholas’ eyes were not just passion or lust, but need, a profound almost childlike desire to be wanted by her. She smiled and ran a thumb over his lips, and she felt Danny’s breath hitching as he watched.
Nicholas stood up. He stepped forward so that he, too, was straddling Danny’s leg, then sat down facing Liz. He pulled her shirt up and pushed her backwards so that she was reclining against Danny. Nicholas was breathing hard and grabbed her breasts as he pushed forward so that he was lying down over both of them, and closed the space by slamming his mouth into hers. He rubbed her breasts then released them, reaching down with both hands, pulling his waist back from her while still kissing. She felt and heard him undoing his pants, stepping out of them, and then pushing back against her. His erection was hot even through her own clothes. One of his arms dropped to the side and she felt Danny groaning, his own hands reaching up around her to grab her breasts. Danny pulled off her top and her bra, not bothering to do it properly, just pulling both off with brute force and throwing the clothes somewhere else. His hands returned to her breasts and she gasped as he pinched her hard nipples. Her hand instinctive reached to her side and found that Nicholas had skillfully, and with obvious practice one-handed, undone Danny’s pants and was stroking his cock. She rubbed her hand over his while they both stroked Danny, and suddenly there was no air anywhere as both men pressed against her, groaning.
Nicholas’ erection as practically stabbing her. She brought her other hand down to stroke him too, and he began thrusting against her.
“Danny…” It was Nicholas who spoke, who pulled them all apart for a moment. Danny, whose head was thrown back against the couch, looked up quizzically. Liz froze with one had on each cock, and objectively, it felt utterly absurd.
“Did I ever tell you what Liz asked of me once?” Nicholas brushed his lips over hers, smiling, and she squinted in confusion for an instant before the horror of his comment knocked her backwards.
“No, Nicky.” Danny kept his hands on her breasts, still, but firm.
“She said she wanted to feel like you.”
Danny laughed and she felt entirely humiliated. “Damn!” She tried to get out of the lock they had on her, but Danny pulled her to him and Nicholas grabbed her face in his hands, in imitation of the way she held him earlier.
“Stop it, Liz, stop it.”
She stopped squirming but gave him a fierce look, and he looked stricken.
“Liz, I want you feel like Danny, don’t you understand? I’m not…ghod, I’m not making fun of you.”
“Ay, Liz, it feels good to be me sometimes.”
Nicholas was trying not to laugh at that, but Liz head was ringing. Nicholas’ hands floated down past where Danny clutched her breasts to unbutton and unzip her pants. She breathed heavily, trying not to react, as he stood up to undress her completely, his hard on still strong.
“I think sometimes it feels incredible to be Danny.” Nicholas said as sat back down on Danny’s leg, using his hands to move her legs apart. His hands moved up past her to grab Danny’s shoulders behind her, and he pushed his erection against her, probing and exploring with his hips, causing her to gasp and cry out, until he found her opening and started to move inside of her. He sheathed himself entirely with one long, fluid moved and she felt his entire body shudder as she cried out. He was holding on to Danny for leverage and torque, and it was working on her beyond imagining.
“Danny…” Nicholas gasped, pulling out almost all the way before shoving himself back into her. Her back arched up in reaction, her breath gone.
“Ay?” Danny sounded rough and uneven, and distantly she realized he was stroking himself as Nicholas moved inside her.
“Move that hand down.”
Danny just grunted in reply and the hand that had still been hold her breast moved down her waist to her sex, and she cried out as his fingers dived into the space above Nicholas’ cock, stroking her clit in time with the strokes he was giving himself.
It was impossible to hold out too long against that, and she felt an orgasm forming in the depths of her soul. “Nick…Nick, don’t stop…” She grabbed his waist to pull him harder into her.
“I won’t, I won’t…ghod, Liz, please…come.”
She nodded once and threw all of her cautions away. Danny’s hand moved faster against her and she absolutely had no idea which name to call out.
“Liz, you’re so wet.” Danny said it, gasping, and she felt his hips start to roll underneath her and she tried to answer him but she came instead, crying out something, she had no idea what, feeling the both of them pushing her.
Nicholas was out of her in the next moment, and it was nearly shocking to her; she felt utterly limp. Something unspoken went between the men, and the next thing she knew Danny was moving to the floor, stripping off his clothes, while Nicholas held her up. Danny practically yanked her to him and threw himself into a kiss that was nearly earth shattering. They were on their knees, facing each other, and she finally felt his cock firmly against her skin. Nicholas stood next to them, stroking himself. Danny pushed her down onto her back, stopping for a moment to look at her body with unmitigated joy, before kneeling down on top of her. Instinctively she wrapped her legs around his and drew him down. He wasted no time, apparently believing the time for foreplay to be long over, and thrust himself into her with enough force to push her across the floor. He held his weight off of her otherwise, but his tongue was in her ear and the deep thrill of feeling him all over and in her caused her to cry out again.
“Danny…” Nicholas’ voice was soft and creamy above them. She opened her eyes to see Danny shifting, and she realized with shock what he was going to do.
Danny ground into her, crying out, as Nicholas entered him from behind. They moved quickly into a practiced rhythm, lying against each other, Danny supporting Nicholas’ weight while keeping his off of her, and grinding as hard as he could the while.
She came again quickly, almost senseless from pleasure, one hand grasping Danny’s upper arm while her other hand reached up to stroke Nicholas’ chest. His reaction was electric, something that sounded like he had been holding onto for years, and at the cry Danny suddenly tensed, pushed his forehead into the floor next to her shoulder, and yelled out, his hips quaking and pounding in a free and uncontrolled rhythm.
Nicholas did not answer Danny’s orgasm coherently, just opened his mouth and called out into the night, throwing himself against Danny as if against a wall. Liz gasped and started crying involuntarily, overcome at the sight, as Nicholas pushed twice more against her hand and Danny’s body and finally came with an explosive movement of his hips that unsettled all of them and they crashed to floor in a heap, Nicholas’ head smacking into the coffee table with a sound like a gunshot.
Danny woke up in bed between them in the morning. She was curled next to him, her lips lightly pressed against his arm; Nicholas was (as usual) on his back, with one arm flung possessively over Danny’s stomach, the bruise on his cheek shining and dark and, to Danny, fabulously beautiful. Danny smiled and looked up to the ceiling, trying not to laugh. Every time he got shot, he somehow always got exactly what he wanted.