5. Steak And Cream 5

“We’re perverts, you know.”

Xiaoman spits her tea out all over the nice tablecloth on the nice table in the nice coffee house they are sitting at.

Ostensibly they are there to meet a witness, but neither of them think he’s going to show, which is telling in and of itself but still keeps them sitting around waiting.

She glares at him as a waitress dashes over to help clean up the mess, but he looks steadily at her with a not-quite-blank expression that verges on, but does not embody, innocence.

He finally continues his thought when it becomes clear she’s not going to take the bait. “Yet, it doesn’t seem to bother you.”

Oh, not this again. One ruined meal was enough, thank you very much, and this one doesn’t even feature good wine. She puts both hands on the tabletop and leans forward. “I have already had this discussion with Ben. If you want to know more about that, ask him .” She sits back and crosses her arms, never breaking eye contact.

“Ah yes. At your nice dinner date .” He looks away and sighs as if he is disappointed in her low morals.

“You do not get to be jealous, Luo Fei. He was only trying to protect you.”

He leans far over the table and looks her right in the eyes, his own glittering with emotions she’s not sure even he can name. “You let him rub noses with you.”

“I don’t even know what that means! I thought it was...ah, friendly?”

“As if you don’t flirt with every man who notices you?” His smile is wrong to her, cruel and mocking. She thought she had seen every flavor of Luo Fei he could give her but she was wrong, and the pain slices what’s left of her heart.

She looks away to gather herself. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Luo Fei’s hand reach across the table. His fingers twist in the sleeve of her jacket for a moment before withdrawing. “I can be a petty man, in such matters,” he says, his voice hoarse and quiet.

She takes a deep breath before facing him again. “You have nothing to fear from me, Luo Fei. I am your friend. Your personal affairs are not my business, but I do care about your happiness.”

He nods. He taps his cane on the ground once, looking around at the room full of people. “My original comment stands.”

She sits and thinks on that for a moment. “Oh. You don’t believe I should care about your happiness? Because of your...inclinations?”

He makes a show of studying the front entrance.

“Too bad. I do. Whether you like it or not.” She picks up her fresh cup of tea and stares intently at him while she drinks it as aggressively as possible.

“You know the barest outline of my inclinations .”

“I know you, and that’s all that matters.”

He huffs at her but still doesn’t look her way. “You are biased in the wrong ways. I know of your fondness for me. You were not subtle.”

She narrows her eyes over her tea cup. He is truly off his game if he doesn’t know that she’s willing to play just as dirty. “I have already apologized to the injured party for overstepping.”

She hasn’t, but chances are good Ben would never speak of it even if she had.

“But not to me?” Luo Fei is scandalized.

This man is relentless and improper and was not spanked enough as a boy, she thinks, but then they are interrupted by their witness actually showing up...only to drop dead on top of their food.

It’s a long day.

At the end of it, they have two completely different suspects in custody telling two completely different stories, either of which might be true if they weren’t clearly covering for someone else. Luo Fei is not going to stop poking holes in their confessions, so their long day turns into a longer night. It isn’t until Xiaoman remembers something that the dead victim’s gardener said to someone else which she just happened to overhear that they get a break in the case.

They are sitting on the superintendent’s couch sometime before dawn. The clock is ticking down on Sup. Savoy’s plan to ambush the drug gang at a warehouse on the wharf, and they have nothing to do until then. Xaioman’s feet hurt because she has, once again, spent the whole night running all over the city putting clues together for Luo Fei. She takes off her shoes and starts rubbing one socked foot, but it is yanked from her grasp and she tips over as Luo Fei settles her feet in his lap.

“What?” She sits up on her elbows. “What are you—ooooh.” She falls back down when he digs a thumb into the arch of her foot. “Oh. Oh!” She squirms in the warring sensations of pain and pleasure.

“Shh. They will hear you.” He nods at the closed door. Beyond, her colleagues are racing around gathering supplies.

She looks over at him and notices that his lips are drawn and his eyes hooded. She had no idea he was that tired. But then, he looked hellish when he came down to the morgue that afternoon — was it only that long ago?

She bites her fist to keep from groaning as he flexes her foot and starts massaging her toes. It is the most maddening, heavenly sensation she has experienced, possibly in her whole life. She’s had sex, and it was nowhere near this euphoric.

“If you do this for Ben he will never leave you,” she whispers, her brain to mouth connection temporarily broken by the feel of Luo Fei’s surprisingly strong hands doing indecent things to her feet.

“He will never leave me in any case, but yes, I do this for him. He spends whole days standing for his job. Why do you think I learned the art of it?”

She just nods, far beyond words at that point, and tries to keep from squirming herself right off the couch. She knows that this is his apology, and possibly the only one she will ever receive from him in any form. She tries not to imagine the life she could have had with him, where this scene would be played out in the naked intimacy of their bathtub after a long day solving mysteries together, glasses of wine at hand, coy flirtations teasing of later passions.

No, she is not going to think about that. It would be unfair to her, much less Ben and Luo Fei. She will not think about that at all.

She is close to dozing off when she feels his hand fall heavily on her thigh. She blinks her muzzy eyes open to find him turned just enough to lean over her. His other hand drifts up to embrace her knee, and she thinks for a breathless moment that he’s going to crawl right on top of her. He staring at her, his mouth open, and she can tell that he’s panting by the stuttering of his chest. His expression is a look of such trust and love that it almost hurts to gaze upon him, but he’s so beautiful she cannot tear her eyes away.

“Forgive me, Xiaoman. Forgive me for not being brave.” HIs voice is a broken whisper, and his expression shifts to bright-eyed desperation. She reaches one hand out to touch him, to calm him down, to tell him he has no reason to ask this of her, when she hears footsteps pounding down the hall. To be caught in such a compromising position would ruin both of them but Luo Fei is clearly lost in his own emotions and unaware of the danger. She kicks out and sends him sprawling to the floor, grabs her jacket and tosses it over herself as she lies down to feign sleep.

“Luo Fei! ...what are you doing on the floor?” Detective Ye yells as he bangs the door open. “Nevermind! Qin Xiaoman! Wake up! Time to go to work!”

They do not get back to the Sullivan until well after dawn, stumbling like drunks up the stairs to their floor. At their respective doors, she turns around and punches his shoulder.

“Ai! You are a crazy person!” He says, rubbing the sore spot.

“You are not perverts. You just...you like steak.”

Luo Fei’s jaw drops in disbelief. “Are you still on that?” Then, “Steak? What does that mean ?”

“It means I’ve been waiting for you since eight last night,” Ben says, opening Luo Fei’s door, tired and weary.

Luo Fei eyes go wide as saucers. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Ben replies.

Luo Fei breaks as if to run straight down the hallway and back out of the building, but Ben reaches out, grabs Luo Fei’s arm and drags him into the apartment. Xiaoman is left looking at the metaphorical dust left in the wake of Ben hauling Luo Fei around like a sack of rice. Luo Fei babbles incoherently over his struggles.

She should turn and leave, let the men have their privacy, but...

but...

...the door...

...is still open.