2. Steak And Cream 2

The murder is solved, of course. The man responsible kills himself before he can be apprehended, but it is cold comfort to the families of the four girls he murdered. Or Luo Fei, who is normally not a bloodthirsty sort but wanted this particular man to pay a higher price for his crimes. He disappears into his apartment in a dark mood and Xiaoman lets him be. She’s not much better off.

The blind date that she unwisely agreed to for that night is a disaster, even without Luo Fei’s frenetic disruptions. Her feet hurt from the dainty heels Su Su made her wear, or maybe from spending the week running all over the city, and her date talks incessantly about his fine taste in wine.

“Excuse me.”

Her date looks up, and up , at the man standing next to their table.

Ben Jie Ming.

Xiaoman blinks a lot but he doesn’t go away. Ben is attired in a dapper suit that is even a finer cut than he normally wears, stands like a military officer, and looks like he is there to chaperone. Xiaoman wants to throttle him.

Her date stares uncomprehendingly at Ben for too long. Ben nods, as if he has been given permission, and pulls a chair over to the table.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but as it stands, I should give you a report on that case we were discussing this afternoon, since I know you are on duty early in the morning.” He says this to Xiaoman, as if she has any idea what is going on, because they haven’t talked directly at each other in over a week now and she has the next two days off. She just nods back at him, waiting for the punchline.

His smile is dazzling, but when he turns it on her date it becomes sharp. “I apologize, but as police officers our job is never truly done.” He doesn’t look the least bit sorry.

And then...well, and then Xiaoman discovers why he and Luo Fei are each notorious in their own ways. He launches into a disgustingly detailed and no-doubt horrifyingly accurate description of some random autopsy he performed that afternoon. Nothing is left out, not the disease of the organs or the putrification of the stomach or the color of the dead man’s fingernails.

The date barely manages to apologize before fleeing. Xiaoman notes that he heads to the bathroom first.

She seethes quietly for a moment while Ben looks unflappably smug and orders a completely different bottle of wine, turning his nose up at what her date had put out earlier.

“I see why you and Luo Fei are friends!” She hisses across the table.

He folds his hands together and leans forward. He’s so tall, he’s halfway across the table without even trying. “I am a police officer, you know. I was observing you for a while before I interrupted. He was a self-aggrandizing bore and you were minutes away from pouring all that wine over his head.” He glances at the bottle. “Not that it would have been much of a loss.”

She crosses her arms. “Did he send you?”

Ben is silent as the waiter switches out the wine and pours them fresh glasses. Then he shakes his head. “I think he would be furious at me if he knew I was here.” He shrugs but does look a little bit contrite. He wears his emotions as clearly as Luo Fei, if you know what to look for. She’s surprised to realize that she does.

He smiles again, this time sincerely. His posture loosens up and one long, rangey leg stretches out to the side, at rest, his foot tapping at the leg of her chair. Xiaoman finds that it’s difficult not to stare at it.

“I wanted to talk to you privately. I knew Fei would not dare interrupt another one of your dates, especially after the week we’ve had.”

She looks around, fully aware that doing so makes her a suspicious character. She can appreciate the irony. “Is this really the place?”

“To ask about your intentions? I think so.” He nods amiably.

“What? No! I mean...about.” She stalls, because this is definitely not the place.

“Hmmm.” Ben picks up her date’s abandoned menu, studying it intently. “Have you tried the fettucini alfredo? It’s delicious, if you like cream.” The last is said with a tone and Xiaoman flushes. Surely he’s not…? She shakes her head to clear it.

“You, ah, you eat here often?” She asks, then cringes.

“No.” He puts the menu down. “My tastes are, shall we say, more eclectic than what you’ll find on a standard menu, even in a foreign restaurant like this.”

“Oh.” She pauses. “Oh!” She’s definitely flushing.

He leans forward again, putting one elbow on the table, resting his chin in his hand. His voice is barely above a whisper. “Anyone observing us together, Officer Qin, might assume that we’re flirting.”

“We’re not!” She says loudly, startling herself. Ben doesn’t move, just keeps smiling at her. His gaze is intense, though. She remembers how dangerous he looked that night when she walked in on them. It occurs to her that he’s here to do damage control, protecting Luo Fei as best he can.

That, at least, she can appreciate.

She clears her throat. “Eclectic is good. It’s great! It’s good to have, ah, have a wide variety of experiences.” She nods, finding her footing. “Everyone is unique! And we should all respect each other’s tastes. In food, I mean. I, personally, am not a fan of...of cream.”

He still doesn’t shift, but his eyebrows go up. “You prefer heartier dishes?”

“I haven’t tried too many different cuisines.” She clears her throat again. “But yes? Yes! I prefer steak.” It’s all she can do to not die of embarrassment, but she’s in it now. No one will ever accuse Qin Xiaoman of cowardice. “And if other people like steak, well, that’s fine. Some people like cream. Does it really matter? I don’t think so.” She grabs her wine and gulps it.

Ben’s smile has changed. It’s a fond smirk, but there’s something to it that is edging on naughty. He has what Xiaoman’s old girlfriends call a “chiseled jaw” and his long face is perfectly proportioned. In the low light of the restaurant his lips are soft, his upper lip a slightly pronounced pink bow. He’s far, far from effeminate — Luo Fei is softer — but he’s beautiful all the same. She wonders how she never noticed before, and then realizes that Luo Fei certainly has. She straightens up in her chair.

“And if you and Luo Fei enjoy steak dinners, then I am glad that you both have found someone to share that fondness with.” She plows into the wine again.

He sits back in his chair at that, expression a cross between surprised and wary. The waiter shows up to ask about their orders with perfect timing, and before Xiaoman can speak up, Ben orders steak dinners for both of them. She glares daggers at him until the waiter leaves.

He just taps the table with one elegant finger. “Many would disagree with you,” he says, picking up where they left off.

“I don’t mind. I only care about the people I care about.” She lets him refill her wine glass. “And I care about Luo Fei. He’s my friend.”

“Am I your friend?” He tilts his head and the warm, ambient light of the chandeliers above them washes over his jaw and down his neck. She would accuse him of posing if he were more artful, but she suspects he’s just naturally pretty in all the ways she’s not.

“Yes. Of course.” She nods firmly and looks away but he caught her looking at him and now she’s mortified again. Will this day never end?

They sit in silence that she refuses to call awkward until their meals arrive. She stares forlornly down at her steak, which looks delicious, but she thinks she won’t be able to eat it without dying of embarrassment. Maybe ever again for the rest of her life, damn this man.

“Hm. You know, some of us enjoy many different cuisines.” Ben raises one hand to pause the waiter. “A boat of alfredo cream sauce? My friend has never tried it before, and I believe it goes excellently with steak.”

She stares at him, knowing her jaw is hanging open. He reaches across the table, places his fingers under her chin and closes her mouth. Then, as if nothing untoward is happening at all, he starts eating his meal.

“This is...this is not how I imagined this conversation going,” she finally bites out, cutting into her steak more viciously than it deserves.

“Me neither, if we’re being honest.” He pats at his mouth with his napkin as the boat of sauce arrives, and pours it liberally over both their steaks. “I came here to make sure that Luo Fei is safe.”

She stops, knife and fork held high over her plate. “Of course he is. I would never do anything to endanger him.”

He looks at her and for the first time it seems he’s let his own guard down. There is a softness there in his eyes that she has rarely seen before, and usually only pointed Luo Fei’s way. “Because you love him?”

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Her feelings are not his business, even if the question is a fair one given the circumstances. Her thoughts collected, she opens her eyes and stares him down with as much confidence as she can muster. “Love? Friendship? It’s affection, that’s true. But it doesn’t matter what kind, or how we name it. It doesn’t matter.” She waves her fork over her plate. “Anymore than a preference for steak does.”

He laughs so hard that the people at the tables near them look over. He’s clutching his waist with one hand and covering his mouth with his other and he looks delightful. She smiles despite herself. Of course Luo Fei would fall in love with a person like this, kind and wise and beautiful. Of course.

She feels shameful at ever pushing herself toward Luo Fei, when it should have been so clear to her all along that his resistance rested in the arms of another. She’s a detective! But she knows she let herself be blinded by her own desires and hope. She gives Ben a wide smile, and if he sees how watery her eyes are, he is graceful enough not to say anything.

As they walk to her apartment later, Ben offers her his arm. Dinner had turned quiet and comfortable after all of that, and they wavered between talking “shop” and other topics that she did not know he cared about. They argued over dessert about traditional building techniques versus modern, and it also turned out that Ben had very firm opinions about the proper cut and length of chongsams. He refilled her wine glass a few times, and so eventually she accepted his offer to walk him home. She’s maybe just a little tipsy but she’s happy to not feel her aching feet, and thinks longingly of her bathtub as Ben deftly steers her through the crowds. Probably because he can see over them.

“You are very, very tall.”

“Not too far above average, actually.”

“I bet Fei likes that about you.”

He chokes for a second but then smiles shyly like a little boy. “He does.”

“I like that about you too!” She boasts as they walk up the stairs to her floor. She might be leaning into him more than is proper, but she’s not going to think about that.

“I gave you too much wine,” he says, still smiling.

“I think so. Ah! I am going to bed. If I wake up with a hangover, though, you will owe me breakfast!” She pokes his chest with a finger. He looks so good in his suit.

“What would you like?” He asks as he props her up against her door.

She wants to say, ‘steak!’, both as a joke and...not. She likes him. She likes Luo Fei. And under the influence of all the wine she drank, she remembers the way they looked together, kissing like lovers. She perhaps likes that too much.

She is busy figuring out how to answer him so misses Ben leaning down, but gasps at the feel of his cheek pressing against hers.

“Luo Fei likes cream on his steak even more than I do,” he says, his hot breath gusting into her ear and making her shudder. He places a soft kiss on her temple then turns, whistling, and disappears into Luo Fei’s apartment.

That bastard. He definitely owes her breakfast now.