9. Chapter 9

Zhao Yunlan staggers backwards, his back hitting the wall. “You’re the Black Cloak Envoy,” he says, more a statement than a question because the evidence is irrefutable. Next to him, his father looks up from the floor in unadulterated shock.

The Envoy — Shen Wei — nods again.

His brain clicks blank for a few moments, stalled out by the truth in front of him. Then the gears turn and he straightens up. “You said ‘no’.” He stalks forward. “You said ‘no’ and have spent the last three fucking weeks fllirting with me!” He marches straight up to Shen Wei and grabs the front of his tunic, shaking the other man as hard as he can, not that Envoy budges an inch. “You said ‘no’ and lied to me!”

“Yunlan!” He’s grabbed around the waist and hauled backwards by his father. He spins to punch him but stops at the look on Zhao Xinci’s face. The man is terrified.

“Dad?”

“Fight me all you want, son, I deserve it but please don’t make me watch you die,” he says, his voice broken, continuing to drag him further away. Zhao Yunlan is so shocked by the show of emotion that he lets himself be manhandled in a way he hasn’t been since he was a boy.

“Rest easy, Lord Guardian Emeritus. I will never willingly harm Zhao Yunlan,” the Envoy says.

Something about the way he says it is so very Shen Wei, so very concerned and earnest, that all the fight goes out of Zhao Yunlan in a rush. He slumps into his father’s arms.

“You lied.”

Shen Wei sighs. “Yes, I did. I’m sorry.”

Zhao Yunlan shakes off his father, but doesn’t approach the alien being of unimaginable power standing contritely in the hallway under cheap fluorescent lighting. “Why? No, wait, stop. Let’s start from the beginning. Why did you say ‘no’?”

His father gives him an approving nod, which Zhao Yunlan ignores.

“I was...I was caught off guard. I thought that I, ah, recognized you.”

Zhao Yunlan thinks about that for a moment. “What you are telling us here is that you, his Royal Highness the nameless Black Cloak Envoy, all powerful and terrible and ferocious Dixing warlord, destroyer of nations and ruthless dispenser of justice… you saw me and panicked.” He can’t hide his grin.

“Yunlan!” His father hisses through clenched teeth.

The Envoy’s face twitches but he shakes his head. “I thought I recognized you. Given the circumstances, I thought it was best to refuse.”

Zhao Yunlan looks at him closely, because by now he knows Shen Wei fairly well. He holds up a finger. “Ah! But I know your tells, Professor. You’re lying.”

“Not about why I said ‘no’.”

Well, that was at least honest enough. “And this person you thought you recognized in me is someone you knew well? An ex-consort? One of my ancestors?”

Shen Wei tips his head a little, his long hair swaying. “You could say that. Yes.”

“I could or you could?”

“I cannot explain it fully in a way you would understand. So yes, within that parameter, I do say that.”

“This ancestor of mine must have been a real hard core bastard, for you to hate him so much.”

Shen Wei blinks. A lot. “That is not how I would describe him. Or my feelings for him.”

Zhao Yunlan can read between the lines on that. “Admit it. You panicked. ”

There is a long pause while, he assumes, everyone waits for him to be eviscerated by the Envoy, whose nostrils are flaring and jaw clenching.

“Yes.” Shen Wei says finally. He nods once, short and sharp.

Even Zhao Yunlan is brought up by that. Scattered around them on the floor, people start looking up at the Envoy curiously.

“Yes,” he repeats. “I panicked, and I said ‘no’ thoughtlessly and unaware of the full extent of the repercussions of doing so. I had other plans, but by the time I realized the enormity of what had happened, I was prevented from appearing to any Haixingren in this form.” He reaches down without taking his eyes off of Zhao Yunlan and yanks Chu Shuzhi to his feet so harshly that the heavy, solidly-built Dixing noble stumbles trying to find his footing. Zhao Yunlan suspects the same move would have dislocated a Haixingren’s arm out of its socket.

He seems to understand what the Envoy wants, though, because he turns and bows very formally to Zhao Yunlan. “He speaks the truth. I was the only person in Haixingren who was allowed to see him as the Black Cloak Envoy. He otherwise was forced to appear in his guise as the professor.”

Zhao Yunlan pulls up the hem of his shirt and wipes at his face. His father has produced a handkerchief from somewhere and is doing similarly. “Guise, huh?” He asks, breaking Shen Wei out from the lingering stare he had focused on Zhao Yunlan’s exposed belly. He wants to add, ‘my eyes are up here’ but figures his father probably would literally kill him if he does.

“I am Shen Wei,” the Envoy says firmly after a moment. “My name has been Shen Wei for ten thousand years. I earned my doctorate, and the work I do is important for both Dixing and Haixing. It is no mere guise. He is me. I am him.”

“What was your name before that?”

Shen Wei has gone back to blinking at him a lot, and Zhao Yunlan wonders how anyone could believe the Black Cloak Envoy is so fearsome if this is his go-to reaction every time he’s asked a question. Maybe he’s just not used to anyone asking him questions? But Zhao Yunlan is willing to wait out the blinks.

“It is of no consequence,” Shen Wei finally says, settling on a non-answer with such conviction that he probably believes it himself.

“Do you even remember it?”

“Of course I remember my name, Ah-Lan!” The Envoy snaps at him and everyone falls back down to the floor.

Score.

“Just asking!”

Shen Wei closes his eyes for a second before facing him again. “I am His Royal Highness Prince Shen Wei, who serves in the position of and bears the title of Black Cloak Envoy, representative of my people and arbitrator of Dixing justice in both realms. As such, having refused the engagement, I cannot marry you.” He takes a deep breath, then looks away. “Marrying Chu Shuzhi is truly the only choice we have at this time. It is, perhaps, for the best. ”

Chu Shuzhi himself clearly doesn’t think so, but also isn’t willing to say anything about it.

“It’s for the best? Interesting choice of words, Brother Black,” Zhao Yunlan starts, only to have his father actually slap a hand over his mouth. They tussle for a bit before Zhao Yunlan breaks free.

“Gentlemen, please.” Shen Wei sounds very put out, which at least gets both Zhao men to back off.

“I apologize for my useless offspring’s poor form of address, Your Highness,” Zhao Xinci says, throwing in another groveling bow.

Zhao Yunlan inhales, long and deep, which pings the pain in his probably-cracked ribs and makes him gasp out the air he just took in. “He can apologize for me all he likes, but I won’t.”

“I didn't figure you would,” Shen Wei replies with a smirk. It lasts for barely a moment before he pulls himself together again as the Envoy, his expression gone haughty and cold. “I will petition the King to find a suitable replacement, then—”

“No.” Zhao Yunlan holds up a hand, and to his surprise, Shen Wei stops talking. “Find a different solution.”

“Zhao Yunlan, there is no other solution. My foolishness cost me...cost me everything.” He stops and swallows, and the show of emotion, though fleeting, is as telling as his choice of words. “It is my responsibility.”

“Find a different solution,” Zhao Yunlan repeats, the words harsh, burning his throat.

“Why?” Shen Wei holds out his arms. “You hate me. You loathe everything I stand for. You and your father certainly share that much in common.”

Zhao Yunlan’s heart dives, because nothing he’s told is a lie. He has spent his life hating, and fearing, the Black Cloak Envoy. He’s said as much to Shen Wei, many times. It’s not true that he shares that in common with his father, though, because Zhao Xinci hates the Envoy only because he hates Dixingren, because in the end he hates the people he blames for his wife’s death. Zhao Yunlan only hates injustice, and the autocratic oppression that he thought the Envoy represented.

He opens his mouth to explain but Shen Wei is still talking, for a change. It is very much not a good thing, Zhao Yunlan realizes, looking at the tight set of the man’s jaw and the way his eyes blaze with fury.

“You fear me, and describe me as a brutal warlord and an executioner. You call me the Black Cloak Bastard, which is truer than you know. I do remember my original name, Zhao Yunlan, but only because it was one word, it was the one name I had left when our mother was thrown out of her family’s burrows for her indiscretions!”

The lights flicker and searingly cold wind whips down the hallway. People are fleeing. Chu Shuzhi is back on the floor, face pressed against the carpet. Zhao Yunlan’s father is grabbing his jacket and trying to pull him away.

“I have lived over ten thousand years alone, in this role, upholding the treaty that wrapped my people in darkness as the price for peace! You have said to me — to Shen Wei! — you have said that you hate it, that you want to find a way for our peoples to share this whole world but in the same breath you curse me! What am I to think, Zhao Yunlan, but that you despise me? That you hate everything I have spent my life defending in order to protect my people while I wait for you?”

Shen Wei is yelling.

No.

The Black Cloak Envoy is yelling, and Zhao Yunlan has never been so scared in his life, his heart racing and sweat beading up along his neck and back. But he can’t run away like everyone else, because this is also Shen Wei and he loves Shen Wei. He will not leave him alone again. He pushes his father off and buries his fear, taking a step, one single step forward.

“I’m here, Shen Wei. I’m here. I am right here and waiting for you too.”

“You do not even know what I am talking about! ”

“I don’t, that’s true. I have no idea what you are talking about. But I’m here , Shen Wei.”

Shen Wei’s chest is heaving as he stands with clenched fists, staring Zhao Yunlan down. There are tear tracks on his cheeks and Zhao Yunlan is horrified at that, at the idea that something could break the Envoy so hard. That, maybe, he is the one who did.

“I’m here.” He opens his arms.

“I waited. I waited so long and when I saw you I said no. I could not...I could not stand the idea of our marriage being a farce. That you would only wed me out of duty. I said ‘no,’ I thought— I thought I would have a chance to court you properly, damn it!” He yells the last of it, and the whole building shudders.

“Shen Wei!” Zhao Yunlan stumbles another step closer as the floor resettles, hands out and open. Plaster cracks spread in the walls and dust floats through the air. Even his father has fled, leaving just the two of them in the crumbling hallway.

The Envoy looks up at the ceiling, tears falling freely. “How could I have known that it didn’t matter? That it doesn’t matter, even now. You hate me, you hate who I am, what I became for you. Everything, all I’ve done...ten thousand years of this hell...I can’t, Zhao Yunlan, I can’t—” The words are strangled sobs. He folds like a paper fan, going to his knees, his hands flat on the floor, head hanging low and hair falling like a curtain.

The lights flash brightly and then, if Zhao Yunlan is not mistaken, the whole building’s electrical circuits blow out.