3. Chapter 3

He’s not a science experiment, but neither is he getting anywhere with the stoic and sincere Professor Beauty who just wants to help. It is both charming and frustrating in equal measures, because at this point Zhao Yunlan is ready to throw over the whole Lord Guardian lark to anyone who will take it so he can settle down and live out the rest of his life in married bliss with Shen Wei.

But no.

Shen Wei is far, far more invested in figuring out why BCE backed out of the deal, and why Dixing (or the Hallows — who knows?) has shut its borders in response, and how they can get Zhao Yunlan shacked up pronto with the Man in Black. The professor has a coterie of grad students from three separate colleges (the law school, anthropology, and the whole fucking classics department) sifting through ancient texts and legal documents, and another much more elite team of super-nerd biologists digging through 500+ years of science journals looking for anything about Dixing biology that might explain how to backtrack the “no” heard ‘round the world.

Zhao Yunlan’s repeated, if subtle, claims that “maybe it’s just better this way” fall on the sword of Shen Wei’s terrifying dedication to the cause. Worse, the government is on Shen Wei’s side, which means Zhao Yunlan’s father is on Shen Wei’s side, and between the three of those points Zhao Yunlan does not get to have an opinion.

It’s all terrible.

Not that Zhao Yunlan hasn’t tried to derail the Pride of Haixing in every way he can think of: slutty clothes, sucking on lollipops, bambi eyes, witty repartee, charming smiles, draping himself over furniture — he’s tried it all. He even thought that all the straight-forward flirting was getting him somewhere, because every now and again Shen Wei’s ears would turn red, or he would give up a little smile. Zhao Yunlan even caught him staring, once! But the success of all that hard work lasts only until Shen Wei’s assistant, Li Qian, sits down and asks him about his sexual history.

Zhao Yunlan balks a little, but Shen Wei calmly explains with professional scientific detachment that Dixing cultural norms are comparatively more restrained than Haixing’s, by which Zhao Yunlan takes to mean “they are all a bunch of prudes.”

Li Qian nods in agreement, despite the fierce glare from her mentor.

At that point he has no choice but to ‘fess up, and the further he gets into what he can remember of his 12+ years of extensive and, in his humble opinion, legendary sexual escapades the more horrified Shen Wei becomes until he actually gets up and leaves the office without saying a word .

“He’s...uh, he’s very traditional,” Li Qian apologizes.

Zhao Yunlan sighs, waves a hand at her to continue, and tries not to cry.