1. Inspired by Recent Events

"Are you texting again? What have I told about texting on the job?"

"Don't?"

"Right."

"Maybe I'm not texting, then."

"You are. I see you. Right there, punching at your mobile."

"Not texting."

"Are too."

"Are not!"

"DANNY! I see you texting! Right here!"

Danny sniffed, obviously offended. "I'm twittering."

"What?"

"I'm twittering. It's like…a…a game."

"Wait, are you talking about that Twitter thing Doris keeps going on about?"

"Maybe?"

"How is that any different from texting? You are busy tapping on your mobile when you should be typing up a report on the Thomas Case."

"Cor, Nicholas, not like Cousin Frankie wants known what he shoved up his bum."

Nicholas rolled his eyes. "That is entirely beside the point. You are, ah, 'twitting' when you should be working."

Danny's phone dinged. "Oh!"

"What was that?"

"Awwww, I can't believe it! Nicholas! He replied to my tweet!"

"What? Who?"

"…uhm…."

"Give me that."

"No! Wait! Nicholas! Argh!"

Nicholas blinked.

"It's just some fun, Nicholas."

"That's not THE Simon Pegg? What is he…wait, is that US? He's twitting about US?"

"It's kind of a joke."

"DANNY!"

"Edgar started it!"

"…Edgar Wright? THE Edgar Wright? Spaced? Shaun of the Dead?"

Danny nodded.

"How…how many people read these twits?"

"Uhm…a lot?"

Nicholas sat quiet for a while, staring at the phone and scrolling through the backlog of tweets, while Danny' face got redder and redder. Finally Nicholas looked back up at him. "…Willie fight? Is this something we should talk about?"

"…No?"

"Oh, I think it is, Sergeant Butterman. I really think it is." Nicholas purred, smiling, and pocketed the phone.

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