4. A Thorough Inspection

"Perfect."

"I don't…" Fraser fidgeted in the kitchen while Ray opened and closed cabinets, obviously considering how best to stock the shelves with his cooking supplies.

"Yeah, it's great." Ray stood in the doorway with his hands in his armpits, warding off the chill of the empty, unheated house.

"Well I did see some rust on the water heater, and…" Fraser pointed past both Rays towards the basement.

"Hey! Think we could put a doggie door there?" Ray bounced by and studied the door leading to the back yard, although Fraser would hardly grace the scrap of land with that much disctinction.

"I do not want my cat getting out, Kowalski. Anyway a doggie door big enough for your house horse would let every juvee the neighborhood in."

"Yeah, hunh. Okay. Maybe one of those electric ones?"

"Forget it. Yard's big enough for a run, anyway. We can put a fenced in area right over there…" Ray walked across the room and slung an arm over Ray's shoulders while they looked out, a study in opposites -- worn leather and warm cashmire, fierce boots and stylish loafers.

Fraser coughed, trying to distract his own waywards thoughts while briging his Rays back to the subject at hand. "I thought the yard rather small, in fact 'miniscule' comes to mind…"

"Yeah, I see it. Right there." Ray's spikey head bounced once in agreement, staring at the spot where Ray was pointing.

"Where the ground isn't level?" Fraser frowned. "And we'd need to shore up the…"

"Frase, it's a yard. For dogs. It doesn't need to be level. Anyway they'll love it."

"They'll certainly love the mud. Perhaps we should reconsider that nice house on Fairview, with the hedgerows..."

Ray grunted. "Benny's right, we'll need to put some landscaping in."

"It's fall! It's mud! It's…"

"Then you and your ratty jeans can hose the dogs off. Every. Single. Day."

"…landscaping's good. I can see it."

"I'm still concerned about the deterioration I saw in the fascia…" Fraser tried pointing again.

"Yeah, they're gonna scar up the floor with their nails..."

"No, Ray, a 'fascia' is..."

"...We'll need some carpets. I know an Oriental rug dealer, we can get the real thing for a third of the price."

"Nothing in the living room."

"Don't want it to get in the way of your Astaire routine? It's a living room, it needs a rug."

"Didn't hear you complaining about my tango last night." Ray swivled his hips.

Fraser blushed, and coughed again, suspecting that the cold temperature was drying out his throat. "A suitable dance floor is not a solely valid reason for buying a house. I think we should inspect the attic for…" Fraser stepped backwards in the small breakfast nook as the Rays started circling each other like ravenous wolves.

"No rug in the front room."

"No doggie door."

"The back shed? For my bike."

"You don't have a bike."

"I want a bike."

"Fine, I'll get you a twelve speed."

They kept crowding up against each other as they argued. "I get a Harley, and you get the whole damn basement for your stupid pool table."

"And a rug in the living room."

"No! Hey, watch those hands..."

"You know the master bed room's got a wood floor too. Maybe you need to try some of your fancy footwork out before we make a decision, here."

"Nnnrgh."

Fraser rubbed the back of his neck while they started kissing. "Don't you think...that is, perhaps a thorough inspection, I mean, of the house..."

"Yeah, yeah…mmmm…hey! Where are you going?"

"Benny thinks we need to check the attic."

"I'm not doing it in the attic."

"The master bedroom is on the way to the attic."

"Yeah? Oh…mmmm…hnmph…yeah…Vechhio, shit, yeah…"

Fraser tried to focus his eyes as the Rays walked, no, slithered through the kitchen. He wondered if his light headedness indicated a lingering asbestos problem, or lead in the paint. The house was fairly old, after all. Catching his breath, he realized he was alone.

"Ray…Ray…Ray?"

"Upstairs." Their voices echoed over the wooden floors.

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