1. Just Deserveds

It had not been too long ago that Ray felt his jealousy issues were over; he had joked with Fraser about Lady Shoes without batting an eyelash, which counted for something because the bitch had kissed his boyfriend. The fact that they were not boyfriends at that precise moment in time was not important. When they finally got together, though, Ray had his shit together and he promised himself was not jealous and he was not insecure. There was going to be no stalking, no spying, no checking cell phone numbers, no scouring Fraser's office for empty condom wrappers. He was not going to lose Fraser over that kind of crap.

He tried to remember that futile promise that as Fraser kneed into the small of his back, one hand on his neck holding him down on the floor while his other hand folded Ray's own belt in half with Mountie efficiency.

"You should know better than to dare me, Ray." Fraser spoke through a clinched jaw, his words nearly slurred by his rage. Ray tried to nod but Fraser's grip on the back of his neck was unforgiving and he could not even move without the risk of breaking his jaw. Ray knew he could throw Fraser off of him, he was a dirty fighter and he could get out of this if he really wanted to.

He did not want to, though. He held himself completely still as Fraser brought the belt slamming down on his ass so hard he whited out from the pain, even through his jeans. Fraser did not pause, simply raised the belt up and whipped it down, over and over. Ray was surprised he did not puke, and figured he could thank the sisters at St. Michael's Catholic School for that. He tried not to yell or squirm as the blows kept falling, but both were lost causes in the onslaught and he bit his forearm in an attempt to just shut up. It did not matter much because he was quickly reduced to whimpering, tears streaming down his face, his body rebelling by pushing up against Fraser, trying to push him off. Ray did not mean to, but the pain overrode him and his instincts took over -- too much like they always did, which is how he got here in the first place, and he bit his tongue to hard he tasted blood.

Ten deadly strokes with the belt and finally Ray felt Fraser move off of him. Ray's ass burned like hell fire and he tried not to think about how familiar a feeling it was from repeated punishments in his childhood. That idea fled his mind when Fraser yanked his pants down, barely pausing long enough to unbutton and unzip them. He bunched the fabric up at Ray's knees and Ray tried to accommodate, shifting his hips a little.

"Stop." Fraser's command landed along with his hand across Ray's already sore ass, and Ray yelped.

"Fuck! Ow!" He snarled but hunched up his shoulders, pressing his forehead into the floor, trying to radiate the pain down and out. He felt Fraser pressing his hand in between his shoulder blades, holding him still. Ray kept his arms folded and propped under his head and tried not to move. Fraser shifted behind him again and Ray felt his breath against his ear.

"I'm going to fuck you now," he growled, and Ray bit back a whimper and a prayer that Fraser would at least use the lube. A dry fuck would be too much like rape, and Ray did not think he could stay still through that, no matter how much he might try.

Fraser's hands moved back to Ray's ass and Ray gasped, his stomach knotting from the pain. The belt whipping had been bad enough; too much more and Ray was going to bail. Fraser did not linger, though. He pulled Ray's ass cheeks apart and held them open, and Ray waited for finger or tongue, or something, but Fraser seemed to have stalled.

"Frase…?" Ray tipped his head to the side, but froze when he saw the expression on Fraser's face. His eyes were blown out and dark, his hair was a mess and his skin was bright red. His lips were wet, as if he had been licking them compulsively, but it was not erotic or sexy, it was terrifying. Fraser's anger was lighting him up like a beacon of fury, and Ray started shaking. That might have just been from shock from the pain, though, which had spread out from his ass like warm syrup through his veins, slowing down his thought processes and reflexes. Ray was not really sure he felt the floor anymore, despite being face down on it.

"I don't think…I don't think you appreciate the seriousness with which I regard our union, Ray." The words were slow and low as Fraser calmly opened his own jeans and pulled out his cock. "I sincerely doubt that you understand how I feel about you…how you belong to me…"

Ray snarled and bucked his hips, wanting the lecture over. He was here to take his licking and while he already had, he knew Fraser was not done. Fraser wasn't done because Ray still felt guilty, he still felt terrible and he had full view of the box of Fraser's things he had dumped by the door the day before.

He choked back a sob when another hard slap was delivered to his aching ass, which was going to be black and blue tomorrow, he thought hysterically. Scrambling, Ray could not decide whether to pull away and call this off (although with Fraser in this state, that was going to be a fight to the end) or push back and try to get things started.

Fraser ended his dilemma by falling forward and slamming his hands onto Ray's shoulders, pining him to the floor with his heavier weight. Ray felt Fraser's hips against his ass, and then Fraser's thankfully slick cock poking against him, trying to find entry. Fraser snapped his hips, grunting, until finally he found Ray's hole and shoved in. Ray whined and bucked, the pain piercing him and setting his gut roiling again. His nose was running and his eyes tearing up again, and he sniffed as he gasped for air.

"Sorry, sorry…I'm so sorry…I suck, I suck…" Ray kept gasping as Fraser sank down on and inside him. "I'm…ahhhh…fuck…sorry…sorry…" He chanted with his eyes closed, feeling Fraser over him and on him and everywhere he was supposed to be, laying Ray out in punishment. As Fraser slid into him, he knocked Ray's legs open wider with his knees, forcing him further down to the floor, pressing his hips down and crushing his semi-erect cock while rubbing his groin down on Ray's bruised ass cheeks. Ray whined again, and Fraser stopped long enough for Ray to gasp for breath.

"Be quiet." Fraser's command was firm, but his tone soft, and Ray wiped his face against his forearm and settled back down, nodding, feeling his muscles start to shake. Fraser was still supporting himself with his hands on Ray's shoulder blades, and the pressure was crushing as Fraser flicked his hips and put all his weight forward. Ray bit his arm again.

The immediate pain melted out again into Ray's veins as Fraser started thrusting in a slow and deliberate tempo. Ray finally unclenched his jaw, releasing his bite, and self awareness began creeping back into the edges of his mind. He was still shaking, and sweating, and pinned like a butterfly. He tried to snort at the image, but breathing was already difficult enough with Fraser's broad hands compressing his chest to the floor, and he just gasped. Fraser must have registered the change in him because he slammed down hard right at that moment.

"Why…God, Ray…why?" Fraser sounded breathless himself as he began pounding his body against Ray's, not giving him a chance to answer. "Why?...Ray, why?" The question kept repeating as Fraser invaded Ray's body and mind, stealing his breath and every excuse he ever had.

It did not last long enough to absolve him, though, when Fraser came quickly and quietly with a body-wracking shudder, pulsing hard into Ray's ass, his hips twitching. He fell to his elbows, angling them off Ray's back and onto the floor, and Ray started sucking in air at the release. Fraser's cock was still seated inside of him, Fraser's hips moving languidly in rolling, pushy thrusts with the extra slickness of his come. His face was plastered against Ray's back, nose to spine, and there was a lot of sweat between them but Ray would not bet on which one of them was worse off. As he breathed deeply he nearly stopped shaking but the sensation did not end, and he realized that Fraser was shaking too.

"Frase?" Ray laid his head down on its side on his forearm. Fraser's hips finally stopped and he shifted, sliding his cock out of Ray but pushing his body back down afterwards, letting the sticky mess foul them both equally and leaving Ray bereft and -- still -- guilty.

"Why?"

"'Cause I suck."

"No, I gave you cause, somehow, I failed you, I was not…enough?"

Ray's heart chilled. This was not right, it was ass backwards, it was more proof of how much he, Ray Kowalski, sucked major suckage at everything. He banged his head down on the floor.

"No! Yes! I mean, fuck, yes you're perfect, you're everything! You think I'd let you do this if I didn't deserve it? C'mon!" Ray squirmed, trying to roll over, and gasped when his bruised ass collided with Fraser's hip bone. Fraser squirmed with him and would not let him get out from his position.

"I did this to ease my own conscious, Ray. I did this to mark you. As mine. I'm not sure if it really solves our…dilemma."

"It solves it! It solves it!" Ray nodded frantically.

"You still feel guilty, and I still feel inadequate."

Ray opened his mouth, but froze. He turned his head to face the floor again to hide himself. "Yeah. I guess."

He felt Fraser nod against his back and push up off of him, but Ray did not move. He heard Fraser walk around, undressing, and take a quick shower, and dress himself again in the bedroom. Ray did not move.

"Ray? You need to get up now."

Ray shook his head.

"Ray, this is silly. If we're done here, let us at least say good bye as…well, as friends."

"No! No no no no. Punish me. C'mon!" Ray's voice broke fighting back his hysterics, but he refused to move, if only because Fraser wanted him to. It would be giving up, it would mean giving Fraser away, and he would not do it. Not if staying on the floor could keep him.

Fraser knelt down next to him. "We tried that."

"Damnit, Ben!" Ray's shoulders started shaking but he was not going to look up and let Fraser see him cry, because Fraser would never cry, not for anyone or anything. He bowed up in pain when Fraser gently palmed his ass cheek. "Ahhhh! Fuck!"

Fraser settled down next him, oblivious to his cries of pain, and began massaging his ass and thighs with both hands, slowly and lovingly and efficiently. Ray finally broke completely, the pain and the relief of Fraser touching him and staying pushing him past the edge he thought he hit earlier, and he began weeping. His sobs were angry snorts and he slammed his fists into the floor in fury but he could not stop.

Fraser tipped him over -- Ray was too addled to stop him -- and lay down next to him, holding him to his chest, and Ray was unable to pull himself together enough to push away. His humiliation was now complete, being held like a baby on the floor, even though that still did not feel like punishment enough. There was nothing more to do but accept Fraser's choice, and maybe that was really the punishment he needed to take like a man. Ray opened his wet, crud-filled eyes...and stared in shock.

Fraser was silently crying, immobile, his arms tight around Ray as if he was trying to hold himself together, the tears trailing down his face and neck to the fall on the floor.

"I'm sorry, oh God, Ben, please, I'm…"

Fraser kissed him then.

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