Where's Sammy?

Summary: Okay, I know I swore off challenges but I actually committed to this before I knew any better, and it just required actual research (OMG, research? what’s that???...and we are not discussing my LoM/Thursday Next crossover, no, we are not), so really it doesn’t count. In fact, it probably shouldn’t count for anything, because it is more of my insane challenge-induced weirdness, despite the, er, kiddie rating. Technical author’s notes at the end. The challenge is here. Now run for cover…